Might this be allowed?

(can she take the risk)

It's make your mind up time but it would be wrong to pop back home to check all is ok, or retrieve something you forgot to take with you, once you move.
I'd make absolutely sure that I was in it for the long haul and take all that I needed, including suitable clothes for warmer weather, your favourite shampoos and stuff like that plus having your post re- directed.

I also think it's wrong to be asking us what we would or you should do in this sort of serious situation.

rosenoir
I can't believe you said that ?
If the OP finds that it doesn't work out she can always go home?
How irresponsible is that?
Back and forth...ah, no problem. Some people...?

Oh do it..
You need to...x

Also agree with what GG54said..

Or don't do it - it could cost lives.

I’d say no.

Thank you all for your contributions - it is kind of you to give it consideration. My DD is aware of the fact that the risk to my mental health is high just now, having so recently been bereaved - and that there is a risk to my physical health if I do move in with them. Both scenarios put me in a position where NHS staff would be putting themselves at risk to provide me with care. I understand this. It is central to my decision-making.

I will have to weigh things up and try and come to a good decision.

There is nothing more dangerous than blind obedience. If I saw someone drowning or being attacked, I would not stand on the side and watch them drown/be murdered because to rush to their aid would mean breaching the social distancing rules.

As adults, not children, we should be capable of knowing what the rules are and of making the necessary judgements, if anything exceptional happens, to be able decide whether to flex or break them.

Luckygirl's recent bereavement and need for family support and concerns she and her family have about her metal state if alone, is just such an occasion.

If she or her family were in social seclusion because they had been in contact with someone who had Covid-19 or were unwell that would be different and the move would have to wait until the social seclusion period was over.

Luckygirl, I think much depends on whether or not you are particularly vulnerable due to being over 65 and/or not in excellent health. If this applies to you you could be at risk from younger people who have been going to shops and out for walks. If one of the household is incubating coronavirus you could catch it from them.

I would go lucky I truly would . Please go.

I wish beyond every wish that I could bring my DD and her baby here with us .

As a local GP said to a friend recently your mental health is as important as your physical health. There are risks attached to going and to staying alone. It’s clearly your decision lucky, I can’t say for sure what I’d do in your position but my instinct says I’d go. Sending love.

Of course go, you don't need permission use common sense.

This is part of the reason there is a lockdown!!

What is common sense to one person is not to another. This is why there are rules.

M0nica
Good common sense reasoning, well said!

Summerlove does that mean you would watch someone drown or be murdered because it breached the rules about social distancing? Or would you use your commonsense and rush to help?

Lucky, I think that those of us who have 'known' you for a while remember your mental health problem a while ago and would not want you to experience that again. I feel that is of huge importance.

My heart would say of course go and live with your family. But my head tells me stay where you are away from any other human being.

Very difficult decision. lucky you are more than able to balance the risk, you will make the correct choice whatever it is.

I echo what Kitty has said.

If it doesn’t work out or the virus comes into the house, then you can isolate by returning home. Your lovely DD asked you to come out of love and concern. I’m sure she’s thought it all through and she knows you well. XX

Given the exhausting and distressing period before your bereavement you must be at a very low ebb just now. Being loved and useful with your DD could be what you need to help you recover. Like the GP quoted said, mental health is just as important as physical health, and has a great impact on how well you are.

Just a practical consideration in your decision making.
Would your house insurance be valid for a prolonged absence?We do not know how long this will last and an empty house would be vulnerable and your insurance may not cover that risk.
I hope you can make the best possible choice.

I'm concerned about advice to return home if anyone in your DD's household becomes infected. For a start, I doubt this would be allowed.

You would be on your own again not knowing if you are also infected. If you become ill you will have nothing in place in terms of recent food deliveries. Do you have regular prescriptions and are these being delivered to your current address or would they have been re-directed to your daughter's?

DH laughs that my planning is like a military campaign but it's the only way I feel confident that things will fall into place now we can no longer 'pop out' if something is overlooked.

There's a lot to consider, Lucky. I do agree with those who are concerned about your mental health but if things are working well for you logistically at the moment, I think it might be a case of head over heart.

I’m like Merlotgran. I’d have to be happy it would work logistically. I’d need to do all the whataboutifs.

But I know I’m a head over heart. I always ask how is that going to work!
If you’re heart over head you see things differently.

It’s a tough call.

Thank you all for your thoughtful posts. I discussed it with my DD this afternoon and I have decided to stay put for the time being and see how I go. Lots of friends and family have been in touch today and that has been good for lifting the spirits.

My feeling is that going there will undoubtedly increase my risk of getting the virus - SIL is happy going out to get shopping and I would not like to interfere with that at all. I think he needs to do that in order not to go stir crazy. Over and above everything else I think it is very important that I do everything to avoid infection, as my DDs have been through so much watching over their father's last 10 days - it was hell - and I do not want them to be put through anything similar on my behalf. So I need to stay as well as I can.

I am sure that family and friends will do all they can to prevent a repeat of the depression that happened before.

It is very kind of you all to give thought to my dilemma.

I'm sure you've made the right decision, Lucky. Take advantage of all the internet communication facilities available to keep in touch with your family and keep chatting on Gransnet.

We're all in it for the long haul and we're all here for eachother.