Strange things you have lurking in your handbag ?

I have a large fullsome bust. After my sons wedding I arrived home to find that my granddaughter (10 months) who
had spent a large part of the wedding breakfast on my lap, had been posting her lunch of tiny cheese cubes, raisins, tiny bits of date and little pieces of oat cake down the front of my dress!! I remember remarking to her mother what a good appetite she had.
I was clearly too busy talking and drinking to notice what going on right in front of me!!

I can never ever find any teaspoons when I want one. I think I must have been a magpie in a former life, they appear out of handbags, Coat pockets and in the car. Done it since I can remember

Back in 1961 (I was 17) I treated my Mum to a trip to the theatre in the West End to see West Side Story. It was a week day night so it was a bit of a rush to get there after Mum got home from work and changed. As we walked into the theatre Mum tripped on the small step and she and her handbag went flying . As she stood up and picked up her handbag the Doorman in all his livery was holding her cycle lock in his hand with a disdainful look. We laughed about it for many a year.

I once pulled out a parsnip from my handbag when I was at a parents evening at school. I was looking for a pen. The parsnip was useless.

To my shame it would be steak not once but several times. Our favourite restaurant at the time served up such large steaks and we would ask to take one home with us. DH would always ask for a doggy bag but really it would be for me as a steak sandwich next day. OK if it was in a pepper sauce because it would go in a tin foil container. But the times it would be wrapped in foil and I would forget all about it and find it several days later. Once was when I was rummaging for for a receipt at a jewellers.

A popsock. Just the one.

Nothing worse than finding a forgotten banana in the bottom of your handbag!!

Oh Hetty ... making off with someone else’s lunch ... that did make me laugh.

And the raw sausage in the cardigan pocket ... what a shock that must have been.
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These have given my a right giggle ... thank you ladies!
Since retirement I no longer bother with a handbag - just put keys, phone, purse (with cards) and hanky in my pockets - so am sorry that I can't add to the hilarity!

My handbag contains all sorts of "useful" things - including a tyre pressure gauge.

My latest portable crochet project

On getting off a busy and overcrowded train from Cardiff to Bristol I hastily grabbed my various bags from the table in front of me. Once on the platform I realised I had also grabbed 2 paper bags with handles belonging to the lady sitting opposite. The contents were her drink, crisps, a snack bar and sandwiches.

No bags or food involved, but i just had to share this. Years ago my sister was staying with us for quite some time, one day my OH went for a game of golf, felt a bit chilly so put his jumper on and as he put his arm through the sleeve a pair of my sisters knickers flew out in front of his golfing buddies. Luckily he saw the funny side of it (eventually). A word of warning always check sleeves after using a tumble drier.

I found a doll's dummy in my bag the other week - left by our 5 year old GD

When I was pregnant with my first daughter I found my tape measure in a sa
saucepan in the kitchen cupboard!

Our saying when we can't explain something is 'blame the baby'. It usually can be traced back to DGC. However, I had a spell a few years ago of doing lots of DIY and got stopped at the X-ray machine at the airport to be asked why I had a screwdriver in my handbag. Not the sort of thing to take on a business trip, pretty sure I wouldn't have been able to help if the plane had engine trouble. I made them a present of it. I have before pulled a tape measure out of my bag in B&Q to check measurements when the assistant didn't have one. Yes, I always carry a fairly large handbag. More likely to have a dummy and a plastic spoon in it these days.

On leaving my son's house loaded down with Christmas presents, he said he'd put my handbag in my car. Got home half an hour later and pulled my bag out of my car : it was his wife's.

I had a small ladylike claw hammer for a while. I can’t remember why - probably a little job in my classroom!

When i had my first child i wanted to impressed my mother in law how tidy i was put the washing up in the oven when i saw her approach.First words she said was brought a cake just pop in the oven
Before i could stop her open the oven and thete was my washing up

I once found the top of a toothpaste tube in my bag.

It was the beloved toy of a half-grown cat I had at that time.

She had apparently realised that she and I were going to my parents' for Christmas and had popped her favourite toy into my bag.

This is really gross but these stories brought to mind.
My son was about 14. When he went to school he hauled a great big bag of school stuff. One day during a lesson he reached down to fumble into his bag to find cat had poo! Told you it was gross!!!

One of my grandsons earned himself the nickname of 'Klepto Man'. He used to arrive with his backpack containing toys - but we had to double-check what he was going home with. Tv remote / mobile phones / stereo remote / purse would all find their way into that flipping back-pack .

Regarding the 'carrot in the video recorder' - in my house it was usually a slice of toast with jam on it

I don't actually have a handbag any more, i just find them an absolute nuisance.
If I need to carry anything when I go out I use a small rucksack which gets emptied as soon as I get home.

When my son was small he used to post his biscuits into the Video Recorder. We couldn't figure out why it stopped working, on inspection we found it crammed with biscuits - it never did work again!
When I was working I often came across dummies in my bag, gave us a few laughs at the time!

I’m not using purse either, since lockdown. Always got my phone in pocket and have £20 note , and my card. What more do you need.