Grieving on your own is very hard

I shouldn’t have high jacked Calpurnia’s thread, I apologise.

Calpurnia I'm grieving on my own too. I know all about grieving - but alone is a whole new challenge.

I seem to be going through it faster this time. We couldn't have a funeral, though, as everyone is isolating.

Instead, he had an unaccompanied cremation. We hope to have a scattering of the ashes and memorial service next summer.

midgey I am so sorry and I am sure* Calpurnia* will appreciate and sympathise.

Migey. I am so sorry for your loss.

Don't apologise midgey - we are all in this sad situation together, and can share our burden.

to all who are trying to adjust to such a heavy loss under these truly challenging circumstances.

So sorry to hear of your loss, Calpurnia, losing a partner must be hell, and that hell intensified by the current situation. Is there one of your children or their partners who you can talk to? We may be in isolation for a while yet, and I think you may need to talk now.

I know exactly what you mean, my husband died suddenly two days into the lockdown, it's hard to know what's caused by the grief and what's caused by the lockdown. The other thing that's bothering me is that once this is over then I'll have to go through it all again when meeting up with others for the first time.

Calpurnia the funeral arrangements sound just perfect.
I love the story about your mother's reaction to your wedding. How wrong she was proved to be!
God bless x

Midgey and Calpurnia - sending condolences to you both. Life is still raw for you and I'm glad that the warm and sympathetic GN community is here for you with so much comfort and experience to share.

At this awful time all the kindness, understanding and support I have received here has helped me immensely and I really thank you all.

I knew the collective wisdom of you all would help me and you all certainly understand the feelings I have and we all share.

In the months leading up to my husband’s death I took strength from reading similar posts to mine, reading how others coped with the death of their husband, the support and help they received and realised I would soon face it too - and here I am.

I can tell you all that I take comfort from re-reading (many times) all your words of kindness.

I did wonder - during the long hours of the night - that by not telling my family how I really feel they might think I don’t miss my husband all that much and indeed think I am coping and will just carry on without him in my usual strong independent way... as mum.

I know you will all know the awful feeling of thoughts constantly bombarding your mind - things you could have done more or better, things left unsaid - the list goes on and in itself is exhausting.

After being on emotional and physical overdrive for so long now I cannot seem to slow down or stop. I promised myself that one day I would take myself off for a quiet walk just to think by myself and today I will.

Together, by phone with a very kind Celebrant we have put together a very reflective and respectful order of Service- with a very personal touch just from me that I have not told the family about. I know my husband would be happy with how I have managed his day.

?

Dear Calpurnia, I am so sorry for your loss and cannot begin to understand how you must be feeling. Please accept my condolences. ??

I am so very sorry for your loss and dealing with this in isolation must be awful for you. Sending you virtual hug x

A big virtual hug to you...
May your memories sustain you during this time.
I am so sorry...

oh gosh, my dh died, well coming up to the 6 month time for me..

and flicking through these posts, I see, Calpurnia , that, we are indeed, not alone..
wondering if we could have a "thread?" here for those of us who want/need to talk?

if there is already one, can someone point me in the direction.
I was o.k. Calpurnia. till I read this

“From the minute we met I never for a moment thought no matter what happened - we would ever part”

and now my eyes are letting go again.. I am so tired of this crying...

but I keep reading that it is good to cry, yet some people say they can`t cry,, oh dear..

so.. is there a thread that we could come back to and share here??

hugs Calpurnia...

So very sorry for your loss - made so much worse by lockdown. You are taking on so much on your own - not easy at any time. Well done for all you are doing. Do ring Cruise, or one of the supports for people coping with bereavement - your doctor's surgery or library should be able to give you a contact number, or find it on line. It is so good that you have lovely memories and that you were able to be with him right up to the end.

Thinking of you Calpurnia and holding you and your husband in my prayers now and for the rest of this day. Wishing you peace and wonderful memories. Take good care of yourself. Grief is tiring.

My heart goes out to you. Please believe we are all hear to listen with patience and understanding whenever you need.

I am so sorry to read your message. What a sad and difficult time for you and your family. I can only imagine the anguish and sorrow you are all feeling.

Calpurnia I know how you're feeling I lost my lovely son. While I am saying I'm fine, I'm ok, all good, I am inside drowning in tears. Part of me accepts it, yet, I cannot believe it. I have my youngest son who is a great help in this lockdown and I try to stay strong for him. But he is also a reminder of our loss ?

His precious soul is flying free. Sending hugs to you.

Please be honest with your children about how you really feel....

Oh this is hard for you and my heart goes out to you at this awful time. Stay strong and be kind to yourself. Thinking of you xxxx

Oh Calpurnia I am so sorry for you and words alone cannot convey my heartfelt sympathy and as I write these few words with tears in my eyes I hugyouwith all the love in the world .All these comforting replies say it all You are not alone people really care God Blessxx

I am so sorry, 5yrs since my hubster left to swim with the dolfins, & I had megga family and friends around. Still hurts

I feel your sadness and know exactly where you are coming from. It’s ok to feel upset.
I live on my own and had recently retired from the NHS.
I have lost very dear colleagues to to virus. My first grandchild, a little girl was born on the 8th March. My emotions are up and down all the time. All I long for is some company.
You’ll have good days and bad days. It’s all normal.