Grieving on your own is very hard

My heart goes out to you. I feel almost glad my mother passed last June and didn’t have to live through this. My father who is 86 was rushed into hospital last night unable to breathe. We were all on tenterhooks because you cannot accompany them to hospital. But they tested him for CoVid; said he was negative and booted him out at 2am this morning with some antibiotics. He’s now under the care of his GP who has agreed the anti-B’s aren’t going to cut the mustard. Dad has COPD, the poor old sausage. Sending you blessings for some much needed strength in these challenging times. It’s good that you were with your husband when he passed. That’s one good thing, when so many are unable to do that. No one would ever think you are feeling sorry for yourself at all. I hope you can emerge from this lockdown feeling positive and knowing your husband’s soul will be forever by your side.

I am so sorry for the loss of your much loved husband. Do not be afraid to share your feelings with your children. They will expect you to and sharing your sad feelings will help you all. Sharing memories and thoughts about the past will help you to not feel quite so alone. I was many miles away from my children and family when my darling husband died and nMy thoughts are with youot able to meet and the telephone was such a comfort. My thoughts are with you.

Sorry ffor the mix-up of letters there. I am not good with the computer!

Oh Calpurnia I am so sorry for your loss Bereavement in normal circumstances is difficult in these times all the more excruciating due to the lack of physical presence and comfort from others which is both a physical and emotional need Please don't feelyou have to put a brave face on for your family and never apologise or feel you are feeling sorry for yourself when expressing your natural anguish I speak as a professional in bereavement care as well as a fellow human who knows what it's like You are much in my thoughts x

Sometimes saying you’re fine is easier than admitting you're not. I can only attempt to understand how you're feeling. As Maw says many of us have been widowed but not with the added trauma of ‘doing it alone’. You are a strong, brave person and were with your husband in his final weeks which is what matters. Take comfort in that.

I am sending you virtual hugs and love Calpurnia. Please come back and tell us more about your beloved and lovely husband. Rev. Coles words are so touching - brought tears to my eyes and are so fitting. Keep strong. We are all here thinking of you. xx

I’m so sorry for your loss of your husband. I’m sending an online hug to you . Take care x

My heartfelt sympathies to you Calpurnia what a brave and courageous lady you are. I hope it gives you comfort that you were able to nurse your beloved husband to the very end and he died in your arms. Be gentle on yourself and take each day as it comes and I pray that gradually your pain will ease and you’ll see sunshine through the tears.

I just want to throw my arms around you, hug you and let you cry your heart out - but we can't do that. This dreadful situation, Calpurnia, is just so cruel to so many. My ongoing thoughts with love - that's all I can offer.

Calpurnia, I am so sorry for your broken heart. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

So sorry for your loss Calpurnia and that you have to do this alone. Sending you much love

Calpurnia, my heart goes out to you, and believe me I do understand how you're feeling, as I lost my Daughter on the 6th April, she was a Keyworker aged 47, and leaves 4 children without a Mum. Her funeral was dire, with only 10 in attendance, some music, say a few words, leave, and go home alone, not the send off one envisages for your loved one. It hit me today that I am no longer a Wife,my Husband died 3 years ago, no longer a Mother, my other child, a Son died aged 21, the only role left to me, is that of a Grandma! Let's hope we both come out of this.x

Sincerest sympathies at such a sad time compounded by dreadful circumstances.
When your family call and ask how you are might you feel able say if it’s been a difficult day - and don’t feeling embarrassed about elaborating

Ah, so sorry for your loss. May you find some comfort in your memories x

FranT

I am absolutely amased that you have coped with all this for so long. Do you have any friends that are good listeners. Face to face conversation is not possible right now but what about Skyping or telephone chats? You have given so much now it is time for you.

Sorry to go off on a tangent but One thing that is puzzling me is your Gp prescribing anti
histamine for you. I too have hayfever but my Gp stopped prescribing them a while ago. Not for any medical reason but cost. They said that government had told them to stop prescribing these as they could be purchased directly at the Chemist cheaper than the cost to their budget of prescribing them. I live in Derbyshire, England. I dont know if this only applies in England, or Scotland and / or Wales too? It may be discretionary so my GPs choice? Curious as I'd like to challenge this if there are grounds to.

Hi Calpurnia

I just wanted to send my condolences and to give you a Virtual hug. Hope all goes well and you take comfort from the service x

My sincere condolences.Look after yourself you are strong.
Sending hugs to you.

Calpurnia, I am so very sorry, I can't imagine your sorrow. Please let your family know how bereft you are feeling, do them the honour of allowing them to help you, it will help their grief to have a purpose and what greater purpose than to be there for their Mum x

So very sorry for your loss Calpernia. How wonderful that you were able to nurse your beloved until the end when he passed in your arms. A very special memory for you. He will have known you were with him. Take strength from your enduring love, tell callers how you are really feeling - they will understand. In time the grief will lessen and you will start to remember the happier times. Take special care of yourself. Thinking of you and sending love ??

So sorry for your loss my thoughts are with you at this very sad time.

I am so so sorry Calpurnia on the loss of your husband. My cousin also lost her husband 13 days ago suddenly, although he had been poorly over the last 20 years, it was such a shock and she too is grieving deeply and in isolation. His funeral is tomorrow and by coincidence at 12.40. Mourners will be lining the streets and there is going to be a service to celebrate his life when it is safe to do so. I will be thinking of you too and if you ever feel you would like to talk then feel free to message me. All the ladies on here will be a great support to you anytime. Sending you love x

So much sadness on this thread. So many ladies who have lost the loves of their lives. I'm so sorry. As if it's not bad enough there is this lockdown and national worry.
A dear neighbour of ours died last week. Of course funeral attendance numbers were very restricted but the neighbourhood watch contacted everyone in our street and they all turned out and stood with heads bowed as the hearse passed by. It was a show of respect for an old friend. So many would have loved to go to the house and have a chat and a cuppa with the widow over the past few days but just can't. So many good wishes that can't be expressed. It's an older demographic here and many know what it's like.

I'm so sorry for your loss

One day the smiles come before the tears

I know exactly what are going through. The only difference is that my husband wasn't ill as such.
He was killed outright in front of me when the car he was driving was hit by a lorry.
I ran to him but he was gone. I have a very small family which were unable to help me at all.
I did everything, I arranged everything, how I managed to this day I do not know .......
But I couldn't let my darling down. The funeral was well attended, the flowers beautiful, the service simple,
The vicar gave a wonderful eulogy...... His final resting place is in a shady spot.
After all the friends left and my very few relatives gone back to their homes, I sat alone tears flowing, not
knowing what would happen and how I would cope with the future.
Like you I am self confident and capable of coping in most situations. But never expected this.....
But more was still to come in the form of an inquest.

Its been a few years now, I still miss him so very much, we had been together for well over fifty years.
I turned to gardening weather permitting, and to friends.
Every evening seven days a week I will chat with one or another. Each day a different pal. We gossip about everything and nothing for an hour. There are other friends who ring at odd times during odd days.
As well as email correspondence......
These pals have been my life line, without them I honestly don't know how I would have managed and could never thank them enough.
There is a life to look forward to, true lonely more times than I care to admit, but it's getting easier
with the passing of time. Am planning to go on a cruise sometime next Summer /Autumn.
I just hope you have friends as good and caring as the ones I have.......