I just discovered I like tormenting my neighbour

Our neighbour is very nosey. If we have any workmen round she intercepts them within minutes of their arrival to find out what we are having done. If she doesnt like it and she thinks it affects her, then we get a note put through our door.
Our regular handyman is a relative of dh's so we can rely on him to help us out and not give her any relevant information. In fact he is likely to mislead her completely!!

I do that!
We have a neighbour who swings between being pleasant and being completely off the scale horrible. The more anti she is being the more I make the effort to say hello and smile - especially if she is with a friend! (Just in case she has told them how awful I am!)
For the time being peace has broken out - its a lot less fun!

Yes, if you're nice it makes it harder for them to be nasty to you.

I love doing this, it's very satisfying to shame people into being polite!!

Being extra polite and friendly to those who behave poorly to us is the only way to go. I read my book as I walk and, blessed with teachers' peripheral vision, do not walk into anything and avoid others by a mile. A lady who lives nearby, when she saw me, said loudly, 'Stupid woman!'

I now greet her warmly.

Of course, she might well be right. I probably am a bit stupid.

I was once shown an image of the face of a very angry and aggressive looking wolf..snarling teeth etc. It looked really frightening and threatening. I was then shown the whole picture of the wolf. It's paw was caught in a metal trap and it couldn't get away. It was in agonising pain. So we never know what the other person is going through....if their 'paw' is caught in a trap. Often anger, aggression etc is the expression of deeper hurts etc. Really good that you can stay balanced and kind. You sound like such a lovely, kind person. Being genuinely kind in the face of unkindness like Greeneyedgirl says makes one feel better and not bitter.

I've always told my grandchildren if some one is being nasty or awkward with them they should carry on as if they don't nothing's wrong and be so nice it will worry them

I have a similar but opposite problem. Last year I bought a ground floor exHA flat with it's own garden, both dreadfully neglected. I have worked hard to get both in a pleasanter state, most of the work done by myself, as I don't have lots of free cash. My upstairs HA neighbour has a really scruffy garden next door with a high hedge between. I have made lots of effort to be friendly with all my neighbours and get on well with them, BUT now I find that "her upstairs" is tellling all the neighbour what a show-off snob I am, trying to make my place a show home. If only! What I have is sale bargains, second hand and elbow grease. Fortunately most of the neighbours appreciate how much better my place is looking and don't take any notice of her, but it is still upsetting, especially with some of the things that land in my garden out of her windows (very personal things). As a newcomer, I stay pleasant and don't rise to the bait, but "snobbery" works both ways.

Keep up the greeting and a big smile should also annoy. I do this with a very odd chap who lives near me and I have to say it is satisfying (childish too, but satisfying nonetheless)

A friend of mine who had a grumpy old man living next door used your tactics with great success, Vampirequeen. She described it this way ..."I loved him into submission".
And similar to the newspaper vendor story, someone once said of an unpleasant person...."She doesn't get to choose how I behave". Keep it up, Vq. Being pleasant and friendly towards a neighbour is no torment.

Also known as 'killing with kindness'. I have a friend who was being treated badly at work. It was discreet but was clever enough to cause trouble. I suggested the K with K option and let the bully think you aren't offended at all. It worked, the offender was totally transformed! Maybe she needed to be liked by someone as nice as my friend.

Good for you Vampire Queen it’s the best way to deal with small minded people like your neighbour and you’re not sinking to her level but forcing her up to yours which I might add is decent and very calm and understanding. I’d like you to be my neighbour. Keep safe, enjoy the tulips and smile ??

We shared a driveway with an awful neighbour for many years, I feel your pain. Bless you and just keep on being you.

Definitely the best way to handle this. Keep it up!

Greeneyedgirl has hit the nail on the head for me. The man next door to me is a bully ( his wife told me that when they moved in) I watched him from my upstairs window once persuading an Anglian window salesman to come to my house. He was pointing and laughing and talking to the man for a long time.
When he came to the door he was extremely rude and aggressive.I have a police notice in the window saying I don't want cold callers. I was very upset and have been replaying it in my head ever since. I wish I could get rid of it. I rang Anglian and told them what had happened and their response was "Well, what do you expect us to do about it ? "

I wish you well with your difficult neighbour.

Theres a man(not english,so he pretends not to know i think) tries to stop people parking in the communal car park near my daughters town house.its a close,and one or two properties do have their own parking space/garage,my daughter included,but if their cars on space,my sons had to try park in the small communal car park further up- & this man,whose house is NEXT to beginning of car park,always comes out shouting at people& threatening them saying its HIS car park! (its not,theres about 8spaces maybe more) now my son,only a young driver (prior to lockdown,of course) would park just behind my SiL's car instead,as he felt very threatened by him..This mans a tyrant.the housing association or council should warn him.

albertina- Id have told Anglian in no uncertain terms what i wanted them to do about it..in meantime just tell anyone trying to sell you anything that you're only renting the place & your landlord wont be interested. (whether you are or not) they soon scarper.(i am renting,but works well anyway,as for selling anything like double glazing,doors, etc. they need the owners permission to buy.)

I once had a very sarcastic chemistry tutor in college. He seemed to take delight in making cutting remarks to me when things went wrong like "Who's a clever girl then!" I might add that there were only two females in that chemistry class of about 30! I dreaded chemistry practical sessions, and then one day, I decided I'd had enough! So when he started making sarcastic remarks comprising a compliment in a derogatory tone of voice, I thanked him for the praise! I knew I'd won when one experiment I was doing erupted and left a green splodge on the ceiling. He said never a word, but helped sort out the wreckage! And later, when he moved to the biology department, he suggested I took one of his courses.

And Vampirequeen, don't 'up the ante' too much as she may start doing things in return,and while she cant sell you're stuck with her next door! I would have just bluntly asked her why she objected to pretty flowers though,that could only make her property look better also? Maybe you can have a window box instead? And put more flowers out front when she eventually sells.

Yes,the '2 wrongs dont make a right' phrase crossed my mind too,when i read OP...my late mum said that a lot..

Magi, there is nothing unkind in a friendly hello. It makes me feel good to appear extra happy - as I really do feel they must be unhappy themselves. Perhaps they notice the difference.

Oh Dowsabella , what a perfect opportunity for you exclaim "Oh! WHO's a clever girl then?" at your erupting experiment Would have been the stuff of legends!

I do firmly believe that behaviour breeds behaviour. Keep up the good work VQ, keep on being polite and pleasant, it's like training a puppy, eventually your awful neighbour might just smile back and be pleasant.

My mother's piece of wisdom was to smile at the nasty people or those who have hurt you and pretend you haven't noticed their expression. it confuses them all the time and shows them how silly they really are and makes you feel better about yourself. it works every time

Oh there is always one Vampirequeen. I would be putting the tulip pots back to where they were to really cheese her off but that is my way of dealing with control freaky types?

Love your tactics which will be frustrating her. Two can play that game.