Gransnet forums


"Thank you" would be nice, it's not too much trouble!(whinge alert)😡

(91 Posts)
phoenix Tue 05-May-20 18:13:24

Hello all, hope you are well.

Now, yes, I know I'm lucky to have Mr P to do the shopping, despite the rather "random" substitutions confused

BUT I'm getting pretty damn miffed!

I thank him for doing the shopping, even with the substitutions, if he dishes up, I thank him for doing so. On the very rare occasions he prepared food (cheese and onion sandwiches at lunchtime only thing so far, and only because he was making one for himself and I suppose felt obliged to ask me if I wanted one, as I was in the same room!) I thank him.

However, I have been cooking my bosoms (small though they are) off, going all "Domestic Goddess" with the home made soup, pies, etc and haven't received a single "Thank you" angry

I sometimes say "How is it?" Or " Is it ok? " just get "fine" or a sort of grunt!

When we have finished, he will usually rinse and stack the dishes (we don't have a dishwasher sad) and then toddle off into the sitting room!

Feeling somewhat taken for granted!

phoenix Tue 05-May-20 19:49:00

Perhaps a bit "angostura" perhaps, Hithere?

Blinko Tue 05-May-20 19:50:11

My OH does thank me for meals, drinks, etc. He occasionally makes a drink for both of us. The things he doesn't do are of course many and varied but 'thanks' he does quite well. Grateful for small mercies, me grin

Doodle Tue 05-May-20 19:53:40

My DH is perfect 😇. No you can’t have him 😀

crazyH Tue 05-May-20 19:57:05

Just be grateful you have an OH - mine is making tea for someone else 😡

Lucca Tue 05-May-20 20:08:49

Hithere...are you taking this a bit too seriously?

Smileless2012 Tue 05-May-20 20:12:27

TBH so is mine Doodlesmile and I'm holding on to him very tightlygrin.

crazy flowers

phoenix Tue 05-May-20 20:19:53

crazyH sorry to read your post of 19.57.

crazyH Tue 05-May-20 20:38:12

No Lucca, I'm not taking it seriously. Just stated a fact. I must admit, its not one of my best days.

Thanks Smileless and Phoenix....

phoenix Tue 05-May-20 20:43:27


Lucca was actually asking Hithere if she/he was taking it too seriously, have a quick read back and I'm sure you'll get what was meant! wink

Hithere Tue 05-May-20 20:43:39

Why do you say so?

phoenix Tue 05-May-20 20:53:13


Fed up with this!

GrannyLaine Tue 05-May-20 21:01:28

Has he always been a bit reticent in the gratitude department phoenix?
Would you be suspicious if he started to praise fulsomely (is that even a word?) In fact, might it begin to annoy you?
Be careful what you wish for.

phoenix Tue 05-May-20 21:10:52

Hmm, good point, GrannyLaine! He will sometimes say "that was really tasty" especially when it is something new or different!

I think my point was that I always thank him for dishing up (odd thing in our house, if I cook, he dishes up) but he never says " and thank you for cooking! "

Bugger all in the grand scheme of things I know, more of a "manners" thing, rather than being appreciated thing, if that makes sense?

NfkDumpling Tue 05-May-20 21:16:51

What would happen if you dished up?

NfkDumpling Tue 05-May-20 21:18:15

He dishes up, you say thank you. Its as if you’re thanking him for the meal.

Fool him and dish up. He might slip up and say thank you.

phoenix Tue 05-May-20 21:26:31

NfkDumpling I really hate dishing up!

I cook, (although he does very occasionally) then I sit at the table and get served! I actually say "Thank you for dishing up".

Yes, I appreciate that might sound odd.

Generally after supper he will scrape, rinse and stack (we don't have a dishwasher) and will often say "leave that, I'll wash up in the morning"

But I hate running the risk of coming down first and finding it still there.

SueDonim Tue 05-May-20 21:33:44

I’ve just come back to this and realised I haven’t thanked Dh for my dinner tonight, for which he also conjured up a crumble. I’d better go and make amends before he starts a thread on here. grin

annsixty Tue 05-May-20 21:34:18

Phoenix why do you day you are fed up with this?
With respect you started it.

You cannot expect everyone to agree with all the many ,many threads you start.
Everyone does not appreciate it.

And yes I have had a very bad day, one of many.

GabriellaG54 Tue 05-May-20 21:34:35

Well, all I can say is that he is jolly lucky to have married a lady who enjoys preparing delicious delicacies for his discerning palate.
10-1 he sussed that out before popping the question. 🤭
His gratitude should, IMHO, know no bounds. 👍😂

GabriellaG54 Tue 05-May-20 21:35:58


MawB Tue 05-May-20 21:37:58

Paw always sad “Thank you” + (usually) “That was nice”
Just occasionally he would say “There was nothing wrong with that, but it’s not something I want to eat too often”
And then I would do a major sulk (even if I agreed with him!)

GrannyLaine Tue 05-May-20 21:44:57

I do get where you're coming from phoenix. Case in point, sat down with coffee after dinner, Mr L gets a bar of Cadbury's Whole Nut out of the fridge, offers some to DD & (almost)SIL, takes some himself, puts it back in the fridge.
I'm not that fond of chocolate, but boy was I cross. It felt so rude.

SueDonim Tue 05-May-20 21:48:34

I’ve thanked Dh effusively now. I didn’t quite give him flowers but near enough. wink. He’s always appreciative of my culinary efforts no matter how badly they turn out because his mother was an appalling cook, apart from cake-baking. cupcake

phoenix Tue 05-May-20 21:50:31


"many, many" threads I start! I don't think so.


annsixty Tue 05-May-20 21:52:37

Certainly more than most.
Done now.