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"Thank you" would be nice, it's not too much trouble!(whinge alert)😡

(90 Posts)
phoenix Tue 05-May-20 18:13:24

Hello all, hope you are well.

Now, yes, I know I'm lucky to have Mr P to do the shopping, despite the rather "random" substitutions confused

BUT I'm getting pretty damn miffed!

I thank him for doing the shopping, even with the substitutions, if he dishes up, I thank him for doing so. On the very rare occasions he prepared food (cheese and onion sandwiches at lunchtime only thing so far, and only because he was making one for himself and I suppose felt obliged to ask me if I wanted one, as I was in the same room!) I thank him.

However, I have been cooking my bosoms (small though they are) off, going all "Domestic Goddess" with the home made soup, pies, etc and haven't received a single "Thank you" angry

I sometimes say "How is it?" Or " Is it ok? " just get "fine" or a sort of grunt!

When we have finished, he will usually rinse and stack the dishes (we don't have a dishwasher sad) and then toddle off into the sitting room!

Feeling somewhat taken for granted!

Newatthis Tue 05-May-20 18:16:12

Stop cooking - or just serve cheese and onion sandwiches and when he asks why just say 'when you say thanks for what I'm cooking, I'll cook more"

annsixty Tue 05-May-20 18:22:47

Just don’t do it then.
Hopefully he will get the message.

phoenix Tue 05-May-20 18:25:50

Yes, but Newatthis I have to do something with all the stuff he brings home! And besides I'm quite enjoying having more time to do some "proper" cooking!

Just a bit of appreciation would be good..............

SueDonim Tue 05-May-20 18:29:01

As they’d say on Mumsnet, LTB! Alternatively, just keeeel him! No jury (of gransnetters) would convict. grin

Jane10 Tue 05-May-20 18:31:43

I know how you feel. Yesterday DH went out for the first time for emergency chocolate for himself. Up to now I've had to do the huge weekly shops. On his return he surprised me with a box of chocs. I had asked for one but was surprised he'd actually got me one!
Still no actual thanks though. 😑

Lucca Tue 05-May-20 18:33:14

I blame the parents.....

GabriellaG54 Tue 05-May-20 18:39:37

Yeah but we are the parents of the next generation yet they don't always act, when married, as they did at home under the all-seeing, all-hearing eyes and ears of mother 🙉🙊😄

ginny Tue 05-May-20 18:42:27

Tell him then.

phoenix Tue 05-May-20 18:42:34

Suedonim I couldn't possibly LTB! I've only just (after 19 years) got him to know how I like my tea!

Putting his washing in the laundry basket might take a tad longer............

mrswoo Tue 05-May-20 18:43:07

I’ve got the opposite problem! My DH actually likes to do a bit of cooking. So far, so good.

But when I thank him and say something like ooooh this is delicious ( even though it may not be - but you’ve got to keep giving encouragement haven’t you. And I was bought up to be polite ) he always says he wishes I didn’t feel the need to comment on the food!

Honestly, you just can’t win.

Hithere Tue 05-May-20 18:58:07

Stop cooking for him.
If he doesnt say thank you for laundry, or whatever you do for him, just stop.

I had to teach my dh I wasn't the family's servant.
"But my mom does it all the timeeeee"
One look stopped him on his tracks and now he knows how much work it takes to keep up with the house and have food ready.

phoenix Tue 05-May-20 18:59:05

Gabriella according to Mr P, his mother was an awful cook!

phoenix Tue 05-May-20 19:00:54

Hithere we've been together since 2001, perhaps too late to get him to thank me for doing the washing?

Hithere Tue 05-May-20 19:02:45

Stop it doing that for him then.
Seriously, it is not rocket science.

You have the power to change your present, not the amount of years you have been together.

SueDonim Tue 05-May-20 19:08:25

Sounds like he’s a long term project, then, Phoenix. Or like I said, you could keeel him and start afresh. grin

phoenix Tue 05-May-20 19:10:47

Hithere it doesn't always work like that.......

MerylStreep Tue 05-May-20 19:18:32

I haven't cooked or shopped for food for eons, but if I were ever not to say thank you, even for a cup of tea I would wait a
loooong time for the next meal. Very hurtful of your husband.

Hithere Tue 05-May-20 19:19:08

Phoenix
Keep whining and ranting then while accepting he doesnt appreciate you.

Why do you post then? Sympathy pats on your back is all you need to continue laying flatter?

phoenix Tue 05-May-20 19:21:55

Hithere, you just don't get it, do you? Sigh.

silverlining48 Tue 05-May-20 19:23:58

A bit harsh Hithere. L

pollyperkins Tue 05-May-20 19:26:41

My husband always thanks me for meals even it they are mediocre (Im not a great cook) but he never cooks or washes up. I know which Id prefer! I suppose we have to be grateful for what we've got (if we generally get on that is!)

merlotgran Tue 05-May-20 19:32:14

If I don't get a Thank You from DH (I usually do) I ask, in an exaggerated Fred Dibnah voice, 'Did tha like that?' grin

phoenix Tue 05-May-20 19:34:02

Actually, silverlining48 I completely agree!

pollyperkins fair point!

Show me someone who says they have a "perfect" relationship, and I'll show you either a deluded person or ..........?

phoenix Tue 05-May-20 19:34:55

merlot grin