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"Thank you" would be nice, it's not too much trouble!(whinge alert)😡

(91 Posts)
phoenix Tue 05-May-20 18:13:24

Hello all, hope you are well.

Now, yes, I know I'm lucky to have Mr P to do the shopping, despite the rather "random" substitutions confused

BUT I'm getting pretty damn miffed!

I thank him for doing the shopping, even with the substitutions, if he dishes up, I thank him for doing so. On the very rare occasions he prepared food (cheese and onion sandwiches at lunchtime only thing so far, and only because he was making one for himself and I suppose felt obliged to ask me if I wanted one, as I was in the same room!) I thank him.

However, I have been cooking my bosoms (small though they are) off, going all "Domestic Goddess" with the home made soup, pies, etc and haven't received a single "Thank you" angry

I sometimes say "How is it?" Or " Is it ok? " just get "fine" or a sort of grunt!

When we have finished, he will usually rinse and stack the dishes (we don't have a dishwasher sad) and then toddle off into the sitting room!

Feeling somewhat taken for granted!

Rufus2 Thu 07-May-20 14:55:52

getting too keen on eating with fingers
NfkDumpling What's wrong with that? No better way to eat chish and fips from the shop and even a burp after a meal is taken as a compliment to the cook in some circles! grin

morethan2 Thu 07-May-20 09:45:52

My husband doesn’t always say thank you for the meals I cook, but then I’m not sure I always thank him for fixing/washing my car. I suppose in a long marriage/partnership we are very likely take certain things for granted. It doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate the things we do for each other though. I know without a doubt he does really appreciate the things I do and vice versa.

Coolgran65 Thu 07-May-20 08:47:54

Were also working on dgs. He likes to use his fingers and to lift a whole sausage on a fork. There's a constant refrain of ...use your knife please. Or from his older sister....you're disgustingsmile

Jane10 Thu 07-May-20 08:36:37

Good to hear that Nfk. As long as he knows the correct way to pass the port I'm sure he'll be fine!
I do like to see youngsters with standards.

NfkDumpling Thu 07-May-20 08:23:53

Apparently DGS, aged six, is having ‘manners’ instruction at mealtimes as he was getting too keen on eating with fingers and reaching over people and so on. He now insists on a napkin at every meal. DiL is worried about how this will go down when schools reopen and school dinners resume!

Callistemon Wed 06-May-20 22:52:49

Always mind your Ps and Qs as my mother used to say.

Or, as a friend used to say 'Your dinner's in the dog'.

annep1 Wed 06-May-20 22:17:44

Grannylaine
while at the same time giving rude boy a Paddington Bear style 'hard stare'
grin

annep1 Wed 06-May-20 22:13:41

Of course he would think that Pollyperkins, perfectly logical.

pollyperkins Wed 06-May-20 19:22:23

Annep I just read your letter out to DH and he thought your husband was perfectly reasonable. ‘He offered them to her and she refused so he ate them - nothing funny about that!!’

V3ra Wed 06-May-20 18:50:17

GrannySomerset my paternal granny used to eat a meal at our house, then say to my Mum in a suprised tone of voice, "That was quite nice really..."
Mum would seethe and we'd all be in hysterics!
The phrase has become part of our family folklore 😂

Kalu Wed 06-May-20 18:32:47

Oh Phoenix. Tell him he is such a naughty boy forgetting his P&Qs. Send him to his room telling him tomorrow is another day and we shall start off with a clean slate. Or else!😂

Whenever your meal is over and he is not forthcoming with a polite thank you, sharply ask him if he has forgotten something??

P&Qs are second nature in this house as my GDs would tell your not so (D) H.

He’s not the Messiah, he’s a very naughty boy😂

GrannyLaine Wed 06-May-20 17:51:49

annep1 Oh dear, I share your pain. Obviously, being an adult, I waited for an appropriate interval and then very deliberately helped myself to a chunk of aforementioned chocolate (which I don't much like) while at the same time giving rude boy a Paddington Bear style 'hard stare'

GrannySomerset Wed 06-May-20 16:30:09

Lovely thread, so thank you Phoenix. Reminds me of a story told by my late MiL (very hot on courtesy and consideration) about someone who married into the family and was heartily disliked. When asked if the carefully prepared meal put in front of her was to her satisfaction the reply was “I’m eating it, aren’t I?” This has passed into family folk lore and is often used when it is felt that other people are being less than appreciative.

annep1 Wed 06-May-20 16:00:33

In response to Grannylaines post.
Someone bought my husband biscuits from Harrods as a special treat. He offered me and I said no I wouldn't like to eat his birthday treat. So he said ok and put them away lol. He finished the lot and never offered again.

annep1 Wed 06-May-20 15:54:47

I do sympathesise Phoenix. As I'm sure many women do.When I cook I get a grunt or it's fine and if I say its not very tasty I will get a detailed description of how it could be inproved.
When he cooks ( which often just entails watching the food I have prepared, cooking ) he fishes for compliments. I just say sarcastically, They're the most delicious potatoes I have ever eaten in my entire life.
Men, eh?

H1954 Wed 06-May-20 14:45:46

I do not claim to be a fantastic cook but OH tells me that I am leagues ahead of his first wife! Apparently she was so lazy she would wait for him coming in from a 12 hour shift and expect him to cook for her ! We often cook together, this teaches him kitchen skills and me tolerance as I never usually liked anyone in the kitchen.

H1954 Wed 06-May-20 14:36:36

If he does the shopping and seemingly chooses what to buy why not ask him what he suggests is cooked with said ingredients. Then get him involved with the preparation of the meal. Simple!

Lucca Wed 06-May-20 14:24:59

Replying somewhat late to Hithere...I said you may be taking it too seriously and that’s exactly what I meant! Phoenix was clearly having a light hearted moan which didn’t mean she needed to knock her OH into shape!

To whoever thinks Phoenix starts too many threads, why not go into competition with her and start a few too ? But please not about you know who ....m....h...

Roses Wed 06-May-20 14:16:59

Me too Jane

NfkDumpling Wed 06-May-20 13:15:40

Agree Jane.

Callistemon Wed 06-May-20 13:12:43

Thank you phoenix

Jane10 Wed 06-May-20 13:12:23

I always enjoy Phoenix's threads. The more the better but annsixty's comment is not like her. I hope she's OK we need her too!

CleoPanda Wed 06-May-20 12:54:44

I am so grateful to all the posters who start threads. Especially the humorous or tongue in cheek ones. Also, anything that is a break from the usual! Long live the jesters!!

Callistemon Wed 06-May-20 12:39:40

Gingster grin

Megs36 Wed 06-May-20 11:40:13

Agree (and disagree) with lots of posts but have to add so pleased my husband is sitting opposite me still after nearly sixty years of marriage, I guess he could have been fed up when I didn’t say thank you every time he did something for me too. His health has been dodgy over the last few years but luckily copes well. hope we’ll make it seventy😄😄