The Old Argy Bargy Bar.....a new lease of life!

Or a tiger ?. What colour fur was it?

A tiger? A TIGER???!!!
I think that would have cleared the bar! It was something low to the ground and furry.....oh wait, it could have been marydoll wearing her mink tippet.?

Thank you lemon the creme de menthe on ice is going down a treat. Doodle's making bacon sarnies with Big Kev and Thor, hope they do chips I'm a bit peckish.
It probably was Marydoll she said she's bringing the black mantilla she's made me for a fitting tonight. No peeking.

I hardly ever gush but I've booked an escort for the Spanish night frolics. His name is Fredrico and he wears an oversize fedora. Not much else of note. Hand off! He's mine, all mine.

You know what they say soop big fedora small......?
Bacon sarnies on the bar lins Thor is doing the chips. He’s cutting the potatoes with his big chopper.
carilllion can’t wait to see my dress for Friday. Did you use that see through black lace I nickedBought at the market?
?

Doodle Yep, I know...small feet. Very funny.

If he’s got small feet he’ll be a good dance partner. Les weight to put on your toes. Does he shout ole and wave his arms in the air when he’s doing it?

Doing what, Doodle?

Er ...the flamenco soop Whatever else could I have meant ?

Why is his fedora oversized Soop does he have a big head or is it a Scottish thing??
Am excited by the thought of our Spanish Nite tomorrow, I am going to do something special which I have been busy practising.?

? should I clear a space on the bar for you lemon?

Here’s your frock Doodle...I’ve used the black lace to make your flamenco knickers ...hope they’re not too scratchy ??

Oh carillion it’s perfect. I will be the belle of the flamenco. Don’t worry about the lacy knickers if they’re scratchy I’ll just leave them off. ?

Ole ?very fetching Doodle. Just been repairing the hinges on my castanets, eyelash curling next. soop's supposed to be curling them as she's a dab hand with an iron but her minder escort has just turned up. He tripped up the step on the way in so I don't think he'll be up to much on the dance floor. He has got an enviable fedora though, lucky soop.
Will there be tapas to go with the poteen girls, sorry senorinas??

Doodle there’s a pair of Cuban heels in your dress box for your partner, just in case he’s a bit short ...oh! ... and a pair of sunglasses for when lemon arrives wearing her phosphorus tangerine and feather boa number.

I’m behind the bar tonight.... so just off to get the first vat of ‘cocktail’ ready then, will polish the door knockers, bound to have lots of hammering tonight.

No sign of Lins yet with what she and soop have been barbecuing???

Will Thor be doing the chips again Doodle we'll need something to soak up the sangria. How do you say 'chips' in Spanish? Where's Urmston when you need her?

Cher Carillion what do you reckon lemon's going to do for her party trick? Should we give the Fire Brigade a nod, just in case??

Lins ... Hola mi amiga!
Haven’t sold any tickets as I usually do when I know lemon is strutting her stuff...‘party tricks‘ usually end in ...’assisting with enquiries..’
So, yes, let’s get some sort of back-up, plus, she L O V E S the firemen, especially Fireman Stan from Scarborough
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Ole! I am here. carillion thank you for the polishing. lemon loves a shiny knob.
lins yes tapas indeed. I have an outside firm of caterers coming as soop will be with fedora man on the dance floor..
I’m sure they will be fine they are called Pisto Controle . Very
posh name I hope their food is ok. You only like to order chips so you can see Thor in action with his big chopper.?
carillion we certainly need backup. lemon can be explosive.

Hola!
Here I am, in all my glory? just waited for it to cool down a bit before I sashayed in here as this costume is tight in all the right places( and a few wrong ones too).Ta dah! Surprised?
Right....a pint of Sangria if you please Thor, and chuck in a few ice cubes.I shall do my ‘routine’ a bit later on, you will all be amazed.?
Is the Admiral here yet? He was bringing the Captain and a few Naval sorts, or so he said.He’s probably still on board and slicing the wotsit.???

You’re wrong as it happens Carillion as it’s actually Bert from Bridlington.....you were close though.

lemon you look.......er....um...unbelievable ??. Are you entered in the local gardening competition. ?
Can’t wait to see your speciality act. ?

I'm out for a fandango now amigos (shift's finished) ... I can hear the Chicken Dance beckoning, lemon.....aaaaargh! ?????? is that a karaoke machine...???

I hope they're not Pissed Controle. Thor's chips are legendary, I like a bit of ballast. Talking of things navel naval, I'm off to splice the mainbrace with the Admiral and his chums. I'll be back to do my stint on - I mean behind the bar Doodle. I wonder if his chums are Spanish?!! Ssh..... nobody mention the Armada ?

The time is right, the bar looks perfect, a bit dark and mysterious ( like Bert my fireman) and here I come, clear away the tables and chairs and move all breakable objects please!

Put our music on Thor.....and away we go...I have learned to tango! As it takes two, Thor and I have perfected a routine, I just need a rose to put between my teeth?......damn! Have left my teeth in the bathroom.