The Old Argy Bargy Bar.....a new lease of life!

lins you’ve done an amazing job on the old toilets. You could eat your dinner off those loo seats......oh you are ?

I'm a good scrubber Doodle, pass the Liebfraumilch I've worked up a hellava thirst. Too late to go home now, I'll just crash out in the corner.

I missed your birthday, Marydoll You wear quite well, all things considered. I made you a sort of cake. Laced with poteen and some stuff a chap was selling (undercover) on the street corner. He said that it's guaranteed to make you chortle. Only cost a few bob. Least I can do as it's your birthday treat.

Dear old Menopaws ! We did indeed miss you when we moved out to The Alphabet Bar....we left you a note though, didn’t you see it?
At least you had the Admiral for company and a few dozen ferrets ( you didn’t eat them did you??)
Anyhoo.....welcome back.?

Lins....don’t beat yourself up about it, we have all ( or most of us) come up for the clap at some point.The main thing is...it’s treatable.?

Meno welcome back! I do like your outfit. .
There isn't much of it, is there?

Soop, thank you for the cake, I'm not being ungrateful, but I have spent the morning in the loo, thinking I can fly. Not a good combination. ? Why on earth did McSporran tell you, you were a good cook?
Where's Lins with her cleaning stuff, when you need her!

Still a bit of a pong in here. I’ll open the doors to have a bit of a blow through.
Quick help. Olga’s just walked in looking for Korky. I tried telling her we left him behind at the Alphabet bar but she doesn’t believe me. She’s about to start ripping the place apart to look for him.. hang on I’ll tell her he’s in the cellar.......?I’ve slammed the door shut. Don’t anyone let her out she’s really cross ? and dangerous ?️‍♀️?

Doodle Was that a wise move? Olga and booze locked up together. Best padlock that door.

Menopaws, we all thought that you'd eloped with one of the Febrese brothers and that you were living the high life in Scunthorpe? Glad you're back anyway; now we can have some proper karaoke and you can do your turn again as Millie singing My Boy Lollipop.

Oh chewy that sounds fun. It must have been a while ago as I hadn’t heard that before. I remember My boy lollipop. That takes me back?
Now all we have to do is figure out what to do with Olga. We can’t leave her down there forever.......can we? ?

Oh dear, I’m very sorry, I’m new here and didn’t know the ettiket so I slipped a note under the cellar door with a rusty screwdriver so Olga could dig herself out. Hangs head in shame and retires back to corner.

Oh old Olga is the girlfriend of one of our barmen in our previous establishment. She is a mighty force to be reckoned with. Hope she doesn’t get out while I’m here. ?

old are you still sitting in the corner? Don’t know where everyone else is. I expect they’re avoiding Olga. We’re ok though. She managed to get out and last seen was heading off to the Alphabet bar. We might as well have a drink as I’m in charge of the bar. Doubles all round? ?

Yes please Doodle, I think I’m in shock at the near catastrophe I may have caused. Doubles all round is very acceptable. By the way, it was a near miss when Lins1066 crashed into the corner, I hope she survived the night. Sorry I’ve been absent, I’ve been knitting some knickers as a late birthday present for Marydoll, but have run out of elastic ?

Oh Marydoll will love some knitted knickers old what colour are they? You don’t need elastic she can hold them up with an old pair of Santa’s braces. ?. she’s probably got some in her bedroom somewhere. (Sssh! ? don’t say I told you but Marydoll and Santa had a bit of a fling a couple of years ago. ?)

What else but tartan Doodle.

Goodness me, I see I’ve got a lot to learn, I promise I won’t say ANYTHING (yet). Do you think everyone else has succumbed to the poteen laced cake? I can hear a lot of snoring going on and I thought this was a dive of the highest order.

Knitted knickers! They will itch like crazy, I have very sensitive nether regions! They don't seem very hygienic and as you all know, I'm a stickler for personal hygiene!
I hope you didn't use cheap wool, Oldbutstilluseful , otherwise they will stretch, whenever I get round to washing them.☹️

FYI, Santa and I had a brief encounter, meeting, nothing to speculate about. Apart from the phantom pregnancy.

I didn’t think you wore anything under your mini kilt mary
As when you were breakdancing on a table once, all I got a flash of ( when you somersaulted) was a sporran .....or was it?

A good crowd in today, all the old regulars from the tattoo parlour next door are in, also the new Korean noodle bar staff across the street, they are lapping up my new batch of poteen
( quite literally ,as it happens.)?

I was there that night too lemon I think it had too much fur for a sporran ......might have been a ferret?....
old tartan knitted knickers. Marydoll could start a new fashion trend. Her highland fling will be the talk of the Argy. ?
Ooh the tattoo gang. Hmm ? I wonder if I could have a new tattoo. What should I have do you think?

Only the finest cashmere Marydoll, but I take on board your sensitive areas and will adapt the knickers to bunting with which to adorn the Argy, if it’s allowed.

That’s clever old bunting might attract more customers to realise we are open again. I could stand outside and play the bagpipes too. That should being a crowd in ?

Friday nights will be karaoke nights at The Argy from now on, I have arranged everything.Glam up girls and come and strut your stuff ( bring reading glasses too!) What will you choose to sing I wonder? I am practising I’ve Got You Babe along with Korky.?

Ooh lemon don’t let Olga catch you. She’s a mighty woman.
I think I will have a go at Tina Turner. I can stick the ginger cat on my head, wear my fishnets and leather mini and strut my stuff. Ok that’s me sorted. What about you old what will you come as?

Couldn’t miss the Tartan bunting and the squawking of Bagpipes from the end of the alley....... look who I’ve brought for you...... put Olga down Thor, you silly boy!
I’ve been touting him around the Clubs since the Argy shut up shop,
Thor and his Amazing Juggling Ferrets.
He went down a storm but Corona killed the bookings.
Can we come in! Thor’s hoping for his old job behind the bar and got himself oiled up for the interview ahem!
Any Poteen on offer? Good to be back!