The Old Argy Bargy Bar.....a new lease of life!

Ooh, Doodle, you look very enticing. I will avert my eyes from an oiled Thor, not sure I could resist and I certainly don’t want to upset Olga, phew, not risking that!

I have dug out my skinny plastic leggings, tied up my beard on the back of my head, and I’m coming as Olivia Neutron Bomb. John Travolta eat your heart out.

Come on in dear old Thor, we thought you had hightailed it back to Norway!
You can help Korky out behind the bar for a cut of the karaoke takings.
Big Jim is in the cellar, Soop in the kitchen, the Admiral in the comfiest bar chair, just like old times.?
Marydoll is at the gin again, and is draped over the Captain like an old curtain.

Er! Any chance of a Pint of Poteen....
I know it’s been a while but I used to be quite a regular in here!

Of course you did Buffy.....where have you been all this while? Argentina again or a holiday break courtesy of Her Maj? What were you in for this time?
Help yourself to poteen, there’s a full bath of it behind the cellar door with a plastic jug in it.

Well you know me lemon needs must! I was at Her Maj Hotel over a bit of a misunderstanding!
I decided to journey <scarper> over to Argentina but you know me, I can’t keep away for long.
Lovely batch of Poteen, with a Tequila chaser.
I see Marydoll is as alluring as ever and still “entertaining” the Admiral.
Just like old times......

buffy how lovely to see you. You haven’t changed a bit. And you brought Thor back with you.
Great to see the old place filling up again. Have you met old, she sits in the corner mostly but has really come out of her shell with the mention of the karaoke. old I am so looking forward to your performance. Can’t wait.
buffy , lemon says we’re doing karaoke on Fridays. What are you going to do?

Doodle I was hoping you’d be here.
Well, I’ve thought of a fabulous idea for the Finale.
I’ll bring along kidnap a few nice men from the Local Weather Centre, we’ll string them up in a net over the dance floor, with water pistols.
Then Finale....ta da!!!! It’s Raining Men as Thor releases the net.
Whadaya think!!!
We’ll mostly be wearing PVC so we won’t get wet, and we just have to dodge 6 men falling on our heads.
Mmmmm! Too much???
We’ll run it by lemon, although anything normally goes with that one!

Lovely to meet you old, just did a ‘double take‘ as I thought we’d got the film star Olivia something or other in the bar.
I’ll get you a pint of Poteen.
Lovely beard , by the way!

Olivia de Haviland? Isn’t she about 107 now??

Yes, I like the idea about the weathermen, but how will you find so many all in a group? Is there a weatherman’s club somewhere??
Failing that, we could string up all the men that we can find in the bar in the net. Whaddya think?
Would Big Jim be up for this marydoll ( since you appear to be his keeper these days.)?

The coffee machine is on and bubbling away for those who need something strong, and hot at this time of the morning.

I'm new here but would like to apply for the post of assistant sewage expert. I'm experienced in raw and settled, final effluent and sludge. Anyone whose dentures were lost down the toilet after a heavy night on the poteen, can choose from my extensive collection gleaned from the screens. I don't drink (much) while on duty but a pint of LFM (aka dearest mother's milk) preferably chilled, in the pipe for later would be good to look forward to. CV to follow. Salary negotiable.

Good idea lemon we’ll just string up any random men we can find and I know a couple of off-duty firemen who can bring their hoses. ?
Your Poteen making has come on a bit! I was totally boggled this morning, under a pile of snoring regulars with a couple of ferrets down me knickers. ?

In other words.....your usual life Buffy

Welcome lizzy your expertise is just what we need here ( in the bogs) but times are hard so can only offer you a smile, a half share in Korky the Transylvanian barman and as much poteen as you can put away.Do we have a deal?

Thank you for the compliment Buffy, it takes a lot of time and effort to look as hairy as this and I also welcome the pint of Poteen as I’ve just finished the barrel of Liebfraumilch, with a little help from my friends (bursts into song ready for Karaoke night).

Lizzy I’m new here and never thought to offer my CV. Now I feel very inadequate ?. I’m off to rummage in my corner to see what I can find. (I think I wrote it on some spare toilet roll). Those were the days!

Lizzy....I only knew you from limericks and didn’t realise how vast is your experience. I feel I should be looking up to you...or is that looking down for you. It must have been you who found my DHs dentures but I’m really not sure he’s cleaned them since. Yuk.

Juliet27 I always disinfect the dentures that get stuck in the screens. At least, I run them under the tap for thirty seconds. ? Any bits of loo paper remaining, or the odd used condom is a bonus. ?

That’s such a comfort lizzy to know you were so thorough. I think that was the cleanest they’ve ever been. Perhaps I should get him to lose them again!

Hello lizzie and juliet glad you’ve joined us in the Argy. We could use some help in the toilets. They are always getting full (it’s soops cooking but don’t tell her I said so. She’s mighty handy with the frying pan.....and you should see her handle a frozen leg of lamb ?)
buffy I love your idea of Its raining men. Fantastic. Knew you’d come up with a good one,
lemon isn’t it nice to see the old place starting to take shape again. Another couple of months and we’ll have got rid of all the cobwebs and the droppings and hopefully the smell too.
Can’t wait for Friday and karaoke night ?

Thanks for the welcome Doodle. I did rather barge in.

It sure is Doodle.....feels like we’ve hardly been away.?

The bar is fully stocked now btw and I am interviewing more potential bar staff this afternoon ( in the back room).
Strangely, only young men have applied ( well, under 50 anyway.)Only fit, energetic types will be taken on.?

All new ladies are very welcome here, glam up girls and leave all worries ( and the old man) at home.??

That’s alright juliet. It is called the Argy Bargy after all. ?

lemongrove Thank you for appointing me to the toilet team. I accept the conditions of employment. Please forward Korky's schedule of availability so that we can get together to compare notes. I'm looking forward to 'working' with him.

Oh lizzy I can see you’re going to fit right in with the Argy mob ?

Belonging feels so good....