The most embarrassing moment of my life!

What a load of laughs you've all given me this morning. We can all be relieved that we aren't alone. My story isn't mine but mum's. She was 16 and it was just after the war. Her parents had taken in a 3 year old French evacuee that swore worse than a trooper. She was taking him out in his pushchair when she came across some young men repairing the road - and there was some horse manure in front of them. She quickly pointed out the 'mud'. As they passed the workmen, the little one said 'look Sylvie, not s**t eh, mud!' And she quickly scurried past the young men.

You made me laugh(sorry).

The worst embarrassment of my life was when at 13 years old I too was sitting on the loo, experimenting with putting in my first tampon. I'd forgotten to lock the bathroom door and suddenly the lodger from upstairs burst in! He seemed to take forever to get out, even though I was screaming at him....
I found out later he was gay. No connection I'm sure.

Oh this did make me giggle. I bet he’s seen all sorts so I wouldn’t worry to much.

My most embarrassing was I just been to ladies at work was walking down the corridor when the MD called me and said turn round youve got something sticking out your back he the retrieved a length of toilet thankfully it was clean

I was 10 years old and thrilled to stay after school to help my adored class teacher with the Christmas decorations. After a while, she said it was time to pack up but if I liked I could take some white card and continue at home. 'Oh but I've got my bike' I said. 'Never mind. Just put it in the car. I'll drop it off on my way home.'

So I did. It took me a while and it was awkward but I stuffed my bike into the back of her car and walked home, proudly carrying the white card I'd been entrusted with.

Half an hour later a furious teacher arrived at the door to tell my mother that of course she'd meant me to put the card in the car. Bless her, my mum blamed the teacher.

I’ve just thought of another, courtesy of a lovely friend.

Many years ago she’d just had an antenatal check, lying on an examination trolley wearing one of those delightful “open down the back” hospital gowns, when she saw that her beautiful diamond ring was missing from her finger. She jumped down in a complete panic and she and the doctor, plus a couple of helpful nurses, started hunting for it. As she bent over to look under the trolley, the doctor announced that aha, my dear, he’d found it. And picked it delicately out of her bum crack.

Years ago when I met my second partner we visited his friends for the first time. They were so lovely and we stayed for dinner. After that we sat in their sitting room on a beautiful light cream sofa. I felt unwell and went to the toilet only to discover that I had started my monthly. While in the bathroom I heard a commotion going out in the sitting room. I didn’t put two and two together until I was met by my partner who said that we ought to get back. I was stunned. The couple waved us off and when we got in the car I was told what had happened. Once I had got up there was a bright red (blood) patch where I had sat. I wanted to curl up and die. I was wearing black jeans and didnt realise that I had “leaked’ onto their perfectly beautiful light cream sofa. I burst into tears and we didnt go back there for quite a while. She had told her husband that the dog must have cut its paw!!!!! Oh and the stain didnt come out and the cushion was permantly turned over. I did have a word with her on her own and offered to have it professionally cleaned but she would have no word of it. So embarrassing.

Thank you dontmindstaying at home for starting this thread. It has made my morning with yours and others funny tales.
Daftbags1 you have such a way with words that I could imagine myself there with you all the way down the hill.

Thank you for giving me such a laugh with all your embarrassing stories.

Early after the lockdown commenced, work colleagues were having a Zoom meeting when the partner of one of the men, who had his laptop set up in his bedroom, was talking to the team when his girlfriend came out of their ensuite from her shower, totally starkers. The man had no idea as he was focussed on what he was talking about. The rest of the team told him afterwards and he was mortified. We arent sure how his girlfriend reacted. Oops!

Cs783 ?

You’ve taken me back to my embarrassing school days now.

I lived about a mile from the school and as an 8 yr old was used to walking/ running home for lunch.

One day the bell rang and we all ran out into the playground and I ran out the gate and all the way home knowing my Mum had made a big pot of soup.

She almost fainted when she opened the door and saw me as it wasn’t lunch time but 10.30am and the bell was to signal playtime.

I cringe now just thinking about returning to class and everyone tittering when they realised what I’d done.

I have sworn never to enter a train loo having seen a woman suffer the terrible indignity of having the door roll back and forth three times while she was seated on the throne. She was presumably terrified to get up and expose even more of herself, but must have shot to her feet and yanked her knickers up in a brief moment while it was closed. She walked past us with a face the colour of a tomato. I bet that experience made her toes curl for months - probably still does!

I went to the loo on a coach journey, and thought I locked the door. Sat down to contemplate life, knickers round ankles. The coach went round a sharp corner and bang! the door flew back, exposing me to the amused gaze of the couple in the seat facing me! Don't know how red my face was, but you could probably have fried an egg on it!

My pool outside which is heated gets so hot that heat goes upstairs and have to open all 6 bedrooms.The one time i had enought of it lieing in the pool naked and the gardener came round and took one look at me and said do you want me to trim the bushes

@hurdygurdy the Durex story is the best one ever!

I remember my Mum telling me of a time when she walked into the Gents' toilet by mistake, where a man was using the urinal. Embarrassed, she said "Ooh, sorry!" and hurried out. Outside was another man, making his way in. He took one look at her coming out and said "Ooh, sorry!" and turned to make his way towards the Ladies'! She was too embarrassed to follow him, so ended up having to 'hang on' and go somewhere else!

I was about 20, walking back from the shops wearing a pale cotton dress and no coat as it was a broiling hot day. My sanitary towel slipped and the front of my yellow dress was suddenly bright red!

Fortunately, it had a fairly wide skirt so I crumbled the affected area up in my hand and continued to walk along the pavement in a busy residential area of town.

One of mine was on my wedding day. We were walking to the vestry to sign the register and my full length petticoat floated round my feet. Luckily my MIL had a safety pin and saved the day.

My youngest son was invited to a party at the local spa/gym and while the children had organised games the parents could use the facility’s, which I thought was great about seven parents swam etc and then went in the steam room. I happily enjoyed this until when I stood up to exit steam room my costume had stuck well and truly to seat I shifted slightly and as I got to my feet the loudest “fanny fart” sound could be heard, the nicest looking dad sitting there just looked at me and smirked, playground pick ups where never the same again ???

Patticake funny we have a similar train story!
The white jeans story reminds me of another story!
About 8 years ago we went to one of the lakes in Italy with my white shorts and jeans. I hadn’t had a period for a year.... started in the morning, only had thin panty liner and it was a bank holiday Monday in Italy with no shop open in our little town
With toilet paper stuffed in my knickers we set out to find a chemist. Spotted a hatchway in a side street where an on duty chemist was supplying emergency medicine
Stuck my head in and gesticulated what I needed in a combination of English , a few Italian words I’d googled and pointing to parts of my body. Eventually came away with the correct product after initially being offered a pregnancy test and condoms!

Oh! Cs783 bless your 10yr old heart! and so beautifully told
And well done to your Mum for sticking up for you

Oh Daftbag you have made me laugh. I had a similar experience in the South of France where we were holidaying in our caravan. Although it had a full shower room with basin and Loo we had agreed that we'd only use the Loo for a pee and use the toilet block for other stuff.
I awoke at six a.m. With an urgent need for the Loo, pulled on my pants and a tee shirt dress and sped off. Unfortunately I was in such a hurry that I didn't pull the dress up properly and made a mess all over it and my legs. After wiping it and myself down with copious amounts of Loo roll I went in the shower and washed myself and the dress and then had to walk back soaking wet. You'd think at 6 a.m. It would be quiet in the campsite but no, the place was humming with happy campers strolling to the shower block, towel round neck, wash bag under arm, or off to the shop for baguette and croissants.
Thank goodness I'd got out before they arrived at the showers and wondered why I was showering in a dress.

I was 16 years old and at secretarial college. One day in the English class the old hag of a teacher told us to prepare a speech on "Do you think the Royal family should be abolished?" I was 16, I had never even thought about the Royal family. I had no idea what to do and it never occurred to me to ask my parents. I had no experience of giving speeches and had not been trained for it. I cobbled something together and when it was my turn I stood up to speak in front of the class all staring at me. The teacher turned on her tape recorder! I blushed, I stammered, I trembled, never having been trained to give a speech. After a few mumbled sentences she turned the tape recorder off and said "sit down". Yes, I wanted to curl up with embarrassment.

Oh no OP. He should have pretended he hadn't seen anything.
My most embarrassing time was the first time I visited my then boyfriends family. I was 19 and very shy. They lived in a top floor flat and his mother would look out of the window to wave goodbye when we went out. As I was leaving, my tights began to fall down and were round my ankles before we were out of sight! Luckily years later she told me that it was that that made her like me. She hadnt been too sure before that incident!