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Did any GNs know a school bully?

(121 Posts)
AGAA4 Thu 11-Jun-20 15:00:50

When I started school in the 50s there was a very nasty little girl who used to pinch, kick and pull hair if you didn't do what she wanted.

At that time you didn't tell anybody about bullies, you just got on with it. The teachers turned a blind eye to this behaviour as well so many of us ended up quite sore at the end of the day if we had dared to disagree with this awful child.

Kate1949 Fri 12-Jun-20 15:14:20

I was bullied relentlessly at senior school because of my physical appearance. Nothing physical but name calling, being laughed at, excluded etc.

FlyingHandbag Fri 12-Jun-20 15:15:22

Another incident has came to mind. A girl bullied my friend and I for months. On the first day at the secondary school, she stabbed me in the hand with a pair of scissors so I followed her downstairs at the end of the lesson and slapped her face in front of most of the school!

AGAA4 Fri 12-Jun-20 15:49:33

Thanks for all the replies. I am surprised by how many of us have been unfortunate enough to be bullied.

I met my little tormentor many years later when I was in my 20s. We were both getting off the same bus. She spoke to me and we had a short conversation but I couldn't forget what she had been like for the whole of my early school life.

I heard later that she had never married.

moggie57 Fri 12-Jun-20 15:52:14

all the girls picked on me called me fleabag as i was always scratching my hair/scalp. i still do now but its known as psoaris.....made me quite unhappy...

lilydily9 Fri 12-Jun-20 16:48:09

I wasn't bullied at school but when I was holding down a very stressful job, a work colleague, who never once appeared busy, would constantly plague me to spend time with her on something really trivial. I think she really enjoyed winding me up. She caught me on a particularly bad day and I snapped. Grabbing my hard backed office diary, I threw it at her, shouting 'if you can find a space, b****y well use it'. It was just as well she ducked! She didn't bother me again though.

Sgilley Fri 12-Jun-20 17:15:13

I was bullied for the first two years of secondary school by a girl. Dorothy...... you know who you are! She made my life hell and sent me to Coventry as all the other girls were afraid of her. She taunted me and made fun of how I spoke and looked. The teachers turned a blind eye and she only stopped when I turned on her and told her to stop. I will always remember the smile on the teachers face. I wonder how she turned out in life?

Tabbycat Fri 12-Jun-20 17:17:44

When I was little our family moved around all over the world because of my father's job. The first time I remember being bullied was at a girls' boarding school, when I was about 6. All the rest of my class were day girls, but I had to board there. I was in a dormitory with much older girls and they were horrible to me - hiding my things, making apple-pie beds, mocking my faith ( they were all Roman Catholic), putting lizards and once a snake in my bed - so in the end I ran away.
When we came back to the UK, my father was posted to Northern Ireland and I was bullied in primary school - at first by my class teacher and then the children followed her lead - they made fun of my accent and the way I spoke; my clothes, my hair etc. I still remember the first day and in maths we were learning about money - how many pennies in a pound, how many sixpences, florins, half_crowns etc. Of course I didn't have a clue having always lived abroad in countries with decimal systems. The teacher made us copy it all down in our books and then I was made to stand at the front and recite: one half-crown equals two and six; two half-crowns equal five shillings and so on. I rember feeling so alone and frightened, but was determined not to cry. She encouraged the class to point at me and shout Look at the stupid English girl. For days afterwards that chant followed me round the corridors and in the playground. There was no pleasing that woman and she took every opportunity to humiliate and criticise me.
In the September I moved to a different class and the teacher was so nice and really encouraging. He dealt with any bullying immediately.

TrendyNannie6 Fri 12-Jun-20 17:53:37

I don’t remember any bullying at our school. It was probably there but I didn’t witness anything, a few girls would name call backwards and forwards to each other, mostly when one liked a particular boy at the same time as the other one,

Jillybird Fri 12-Jun-20 17:58:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fronkydonky Fri 12-Jun-20 18:32:02

I always remember a certain boy was singled out almost every day by a rough boy and jeered at and mocked by him and his gang of hangers on, in the playground. The bully was from a big family and the quiet milksop boy was from a church going family who were so old fashioned in their ways and the way they dressed their kids. He used to come to school in a mac that a sixty five year old pensioner would wear to the library. He was quite a clever lad but I often wonder if he suffered from mental health problems/anxiety in later life due to being constantly turned upside down and tied up in the tennis courts with boys ties, for their Fun. I am cross that none of the teachers ever did anything to the bully to stop this. He wasn’t given a cool first name by his parents unfortunately -he had a really old fashioned pensioner name for the 1970’s which was another excuse for him to be ridiculed by these boys. I see his older sisters in my city But never him. I hope he moved away and made a success of his life. Karma hopefully will be waiting for the leader of the bullying gang one day soon.

t42and24t Fri 12-Jun-20 18:41:54

At primary and senior schoolI was terrified by a girl called Jennifer,she was a only child, wore lovely clothes ,Kathy McGowan hair,I lived on a rural farm ,she in a village,Iwas bullied by her all the way through .In the end my mother intervened and the head master had us all in the assembly hall and made an example of her ! End of the bully

Millie22 Fri 12-Jun-20 19:06:15

I'm amazed that so many teachers years ago seem to have ignored bullying. Nowdays children are generally a lot more supported if they have to deal with a bully. Girls can be so cruel and single out children who are different in any way. I went to a Catholic school and remember one or two horrible incidents where children were treated very badly.

Kate1949 Fri 12-Jun-20 20:24:38

My junior and infants school was Catholic Millie. I saw some appalling treatment of pupils by nuns, teachers and an order of brothers (monks).

Eloethan Fri 12-Jun-20 23:19:57

My parents moved from a quite middle class area of London to a less affluent, more working class, area of London.

It took me some time to settle in at my junior school. I was quite well spoken and a girl, B, in my class took against me and told everyone I was a "snob" . They would all surround me in the playground at playtime and call me names.

Somehow or other I withstood all this - partly, I think, because, initially at least, some girls in the year above me took pity on me and we played together at playtime.

I had told my Mum of this girl's behaviour. She didn't say much,but some days later she told me she'd invited B to come home with me after school and have tea in the garden. I thought Mum had taken leave of her senses - what on earth was she doing inviting this girl, who had caused me so much unhappiness, to our home?

Anyway, luckily it was a nice sunny afternoon and we sat in the garden on a picnic rug and had jam sandwiches, madeira cake and Corona Appletise for tea. Afterwards we took my rabbits out of their hutches and let them run round the garden, and I let her hold my mouse.

From my recollection, the name calling stopped after that.

I eventually settled in to the class and made some friends. One of my best friends lived near B and told me that her Dad was in prison, her Mum wasn't coping well and her two brothers were always in trouble. The family had a bad name and most of the neighbours avoided them.

I met B a couple or so years later when we were both at different secondary schools. She was, of course, much more grown up. I was so surprised when she said, quite out of the blue, that she had never forgotten about that lovely afternoon at my house and what a happy time she had had. I hadn't really realised until that moment what a clever - and kind - thing my Mum had done that day. It makes me feel rather sad when I think about it and I wonder if life got better for B.

Shamefully, I recall a time at secondary school when I too became at bit of a bully. I drifted away from my then best friend to team up with another girl who had quite an acerbic side to her. For a little while, we made fun of my former friend - miss goody two shoes (she worked hard in class and did well), etc, etc. I don't know why I joined in this nasty behaviour, except probably it was a bit of jealousy. My former friend (luckily I am still in touch with her now, 50 years later) just ignored it, and me and this other girl eventually stopped, but it must have hurt. It's not nice to think how badly I behaved at that time.

Eloethan Fri 12-Jun-20 23:26:41

I would add that most of the real bullying I saw at school was from teachers.

One teacher in infant school slapped me round the face for going the wrong way in country dancing (I couldn't have been much more than 7).

The little boys in junior school used to get "the slipper" from Mr McGuinness. They were hauled up in front of the class, ordered to bend over and were hit really hard on the bottom with a slipper several times. It used to make me feel sick with embarrassment and revulsion to see this.

Other teachers would throw blackboard rubbers or pieces of chalk, or slap out at hands with rulers.

Having said that, some teachers were lovely. My form teacher in the last year of junior school, Mrs Castle, was the kindest, gentlest, most encouraging teacher I ever had.

Kate1949 Fri 12-Jun-20 23:36:48

I agree Eloethan I am 70 but my first day of school sticks in my mind. I was 5 and so scared I wet my pants. The teachers (there were two of them) stood me on a chair and said to the class 'Look what this dirty little girl had done'.

FlyingHandbag Fri 12-Jun-20 23:52:49

Kate1949 that's disgraceful... you must have felt so horrible. flowers

Candelle Fri 12-Jun-20 23:56:31

Suzanne W was her name.

For a while, she and her acolyte threatened me daily and tried to extort money which I was supposed to bring into school the following day. She mocked my very sick father, our religion and thought our family to be wealthy (i.e. I had a huge amount of pocket money - which I didn't!).

I am not quite sure how (this was in junior school and I think I was eight) but I managed to stand up to her by..... reasoning with her, explaining all her demands away!

Sounds impossible but I knew I didn't want to steal from home (the only way I could bring the money to school) and by repeatedly explaining to Suzanne that I wasn't ever going to cooperate with her, she eventually (although she gave me a few kicks, punches and shoves probably from frustration) lost interest and gave up. I probably bored her into submission.

I have thought of this little charmer for many years and tried telling myself that I 'won' but the fact that I can still recall the spot on the playground favoured by Suzanne to pin me against the fence makes me wonder....

Eloethan Sat 13-Jun-20 00:19:30

Kate49 That was really cruel - what a dreadful teacher.

Jaye53 Mon 15-Jun-20 14:50:10

my son was bullied by a boy so I went to his parents (who owned a farm !) and confronted them and it never happenned again.