Wrong...but oh so good..

That is lovely to read. My grandchildren have been told to keep their distance if they are old enough and guarded if they are too young to know. It is instinctive to want to hug them and I certainly don't blame anybody giving in to it.

Funnily enough it is my eldest boy who is struggling with not hugging. He has always been a big softy who has hugged me even when his friend teased him about it when they thought they were too big for hugs. He just used to say to them that his Dad hugged his Mum when h saw her and if it was good enough for him, he wasn't going to argue. His friends soon gave up the teasing. His hugs got me through some very dark times.

Our son has just come to stay with us for a break and he's skipping round me trying to social distance, because I just don't see the point when we're sharing the same house! However, I'm respecting his instincts, which I think are to protect me as I have suffered from a lot of health issues over the last few years.

When/if I see the DGCs, I'll take my cue from their mum and dad - though I think they've already been seeing the grandparents who live nearby with quite relaxed social distancing. But if they want a hug, they can certainly have one. I received a letter last week from my 5 yo grandson, saying 'I wish you could come'.

The joy of it after 3 months or more! Can’t put it into words!
Good for you.xxx

That’s lovely ?

When the rules relaxed a little, I let my GC decide. One bulldozed me and the other resisted (and me irresistible!) and that was absolutely fine. Cuddles are wonderful but not essential. I'll settle for the underlying love which is undoubtedly there. Oh yes......

Pippa22 I wish we could go earlier , DILs parents will be first up and we are fine with that.
They have given us a date for July 14th and we are just so happy counting down the days.

I did not feel at all guilty last weekend when my DGD aged 20 months was plonked on my lap for a cuddle by my DD. We were in their garden keeping to the distance rules and happy to be together again. I was tearful and just sooooo over the moon. I certainly did not want to let go!

I can only imagine how you both felt, I bet you didn’t want to let go

I went to my friends Mum's funeral last week. Not the sort of funeral you envisage for your mum. She was distraught and asked for a hug. I did not refuse. Who would..

Well my GS has Down Syndrome, one of the traits is he likes his cuddles, so yes I was happy to oblige.

The new rules sound as though have been made up by a big group of people each chipping in with:

....^and what about walking through house to garden? Lets make a rule...^

rather than starting off with basic principles and following them logically.

I think after all our discussions, our judgement is at least as good as the government's!

Good for you i also have done this. My eldest grandson said ‘Boris can’t stop me now ; felt very emotional. He’s 13 .

Ooh Maggymay, how can you possibly wait another three weeks before seeing your new little one ? I would be there immediately, it’s not a long journey. It will be so good when you get there, who will you hug first ?

Fairview, i can imagine the emotion cuddling your gs. Don't feel bad about it. It's a natural reaction. Can't wait to cuddle mine. Haven't seen him for 4 months. There's no way I'm not going to cuddle him when I see him.

Good for you, it’s about time we all did this.

We have not seen our 3 month old DGD yet they live 3.5 hours drive away.
Will be going up in 3 weeks time when we will stay overnight and DS and DIL have said we can give her a cuddle can’t wait.

There is a theory that there is a lot less risk from a hug than a handshake as long as there is no skin contact and you are not face to face. I think I will be fine with AC as they are all very tall even DIL. I will basically be hugging their chests! GC a bit of a challenge to not have skin contact but boy woukd I try.

I’ve done it too. Given children are almost all not badly affected by Coronavirus, then I felt the risk was mine to take. If I were putting them at risk then certainly not, but I weighed up if I was prepared to take a small risk and did. It was glorious.

Last weekend I saw my dad for the first time in four months and we hugged - he said he didn’t care if he caught the virus and died, a life without hugs wasn’t worth living.

I saw my darling granddaughter a month ago and she asked if she could hug me (she’s 20) and I’d rather die than say no.

A shorter life well lived and loved is better than a long lonely one in my view.

I haven't seen my DGCs since mid March. I have been very strict about staying away from people because I have a number of health conditions (not shielding) .

I may be able to see them at the weekend but I just don't know what to do.

Should I cuddle them? Would I be able to refuse a hug.

I wonder if it would be better to not see them but then when will it be ok?

It's causing me a lot of anxiety and unhappiness at the moment and I can't decide what's best.

My daughter is leaving it up to me, but is also slightly concerned that the elder DGS might be more unhappy afterwards if we do meet.

Farview - don’t spoil your lovely experience by even thinking it was wrong - nothing to feel guilty about here - govt policy is inane - millions of people have been truly breaking lockdown advice for weeks so give yourself a break here - you’ve shown a measured and careful approach - Enjoy these little opportunities as they support your emotional health.

We are going to start childminding our darling granddaughter tomorrow - she's 2 1\2. Before lockdown we used to look after her Mondays and Fridays but haven't had her since. We have seen her in the garden a few times and, yes, I'm afraid we have had hugs but only round the legs as she seems to know she shouldn't kiss yet. However, I find government new rules confusing as it said originally that single grandparents could visit and hug their grandchildren which was great but the new rules around expanded bubbles now say no hugging and must social distance! Also I can't see anywhere that Grandparents can now officially start childminding, or have I missed something? Can anyone explain that for me please?

Not hugging children that need hugging is like not sneezing.

You cannot stop a natural reflex ?

Well fairview you have made me very tearfull i cantotaly understand and will more than likely do the very same when i cuddle my grandchildren/son`s dil`s.

I did exactly the same on grandson 6th birthday on Tuesday