“Signalling”

I’m the same as you BlueBelle ....way, way, way down the scale when it comes to wealth .

True as it maybe, that JR quote means nothing to anyone who doesn’t have the money to spend “buying better” and certainly wouldn’t cheer some people up . Quite the contrary I would guess.

Also that saying “money doesn’t buy happiness” what a load of tosh that is .

Annsixty, your thoughts of mortality would be of great interest to me.

I often think about death. I watched a film on TV which dealt with life and death. I would not discuss it on Gransnet as it is too serious for the general light-hearted or evasive tone of Gransnet.

“money doesn’t buy happiness”

Correct, but it does allow you to be miserable in comfort and when your maid cleans the bathroom you will complain that the gold taps are dirty.

I have heard poverty defined as lack of choice which I think is very accurate.

I think the saying was probably started by someone (or a group of people) who were quite wealthy and wanted to keep the rest of us in their place . Trying to kid us that their wealth meant nothing at all and “really darling I know you have very little, but you really can be just as happy as I am”

Having a little money to spare is of course a blessing. Not having to worry about paying bills or dealing with repairs makes for an easier life.

However, the greatest wealth comes from having family who love and care about you. I thought I had this, but now, despite my poster name, lockdown has shown me I’m no longer of any use to my family and they simply don’t understand how being solitary for months on end can grind you down.

So those of you who don’t have money to spare, who struggle with daily finances, but who do have people who love you, to me you are the ones with true wealth and can boast away, as I for one love hearing how much some families care for each other.

I apologise if this comes across as self-pitying, it’s really not what I intend.

Alexa

Annsixty, your thoughts of mortality would be of great interest to me.

I often think about death. I watched a film on TV which dealt with life and death. I would not discuss it on Gransnet as it is too serious for the general light-hearted or evasive tone of Gransnet.

Goodness me, we have so many threads saying GN is too “heavy” and now a post saying it’s evasive and lighthearted !
I definitely definitely would not read a thread about death.

This is a really thought provoking thread annsixty so thank you for starting it. No need to apologise, variety is interesting.

I must have been living under a rock as I’ve never heard the expression “signalling”.

Gransnet has a cross section of people just as all aspects of life do. It’s fine to notice and comment on other’s good fortune but I feel it’s unhealthy to be envious. (Not suggesting you are ann by the way). As someone else has posted - be you wealthy or not your opinions count as much as anyone else’s.

I hope you can get your knee treatment soon and be free from pain. You’re overdue some good luck and happiness too. You can’t buy those ann. ??

A very interesting thread annsixty and thought provoking.

A poster upset me two or three years ago when she mentioned I had a ‘second home in the sun’ and made a couple of hurtful comments.

We are in our late 60’s. For us it was a lifestyle choice for our upcoming retirement. We owned an ordinary semi and chose to split it in half (financially) and bought 2 very small apartments when we downsized. We have never inherited anything. We own a small, old Peugeot 107 at the U.K. home. We have no garden to spend money on and our places are so little you wouldn’t believe how low our utility bills are!

But we have our good health, are still married after almost 50 years together (I deserve a medal haha!) and our two daughters and extended families are a joy for which I am truly grateful. Two gorgeous grandchildren fill the space in my heart that I didn’t know was there. ?❤️ I count my blessings every day.
?

A Lovely post Urms

Urmstongran a lovely post which warms my heart. You are rich indeed.

What gilly said!

I don't think that anyone has a truly blessed life. Some people have more money than others but we all have our own crosses to bear.

Well I m not moaning if anyone saw it that way I actually enjoy being resourceful and recycling and if I ever own a Louis Verton bag ( probably the only ‘name’ I recognise but probably can’t spell and can’t be bothered to look it up) it will come from the charity shop and because I like it not because I like the name
Viva la poor ...No that’s a joke I don’t consider I m poor at all but I don’t see riches in the trappings of what I think is on the whole a greedy society I don’t think people see it as boasting when they name drop but it is, because why else do it (I don’t necessarily mean on here, in life in general)
If you see a street kid with nothing playing with a home made toy and compare his/her joy with that of a kid who has ‘everything’ that’s what I would get a thrill out of not a swimming pool and Jimmy choo shoes ( wow I know another name)

You are so right Urmston, if you have your health and a loving family you are rich indeed. These are things no amount of money can buy.

We were lucky. My husband left school at 15 and worked in a factory. He made good choices but worked 12 hours a day 5+ days a week until he retired. I unashamedly enjoy my lifestyle and we are happy. I see no need to apologise to apologise. I’m not a lesser person.

Re money giving you choices, many years ago an old friend of ours referred to his aspiration of having ‘f*ck off money* - i.e. enough that if you hated your job, you could tell your employer to f* off.
Very neatly put, I always thought.

Aren’t we getting into realms of inverse snobbery?

Have I been wrong to mention holidays? I know there are lovely people on here who just can't afford them, and I feel so fortunate that we have been able to travel; I am sure it has made us more interesting people. It is what keeps me going to be honest, we have past and ongoing family worries and planning the next break is my escape, even more than the trip itself.

But I would hate to add to someone's distress?

Has it occurred to anyone that the 'boasters' might be not telling the truth? Because we are all anonymous people can post whatever they like - maybe to 'big themselves up'...maybe to amuse themselves at the reaction their boasting causes....or maybe to be nasty?
Hi! I'm DannyRae and I live in a big riverside house , I wear designer clothes (a different outfit everyday). I drive an open top sports car and enjoy many trips to my holiday home in the South of France.
Non of this is true but you only know that because I have just told you!
So next time when someone is telling us of their wonderful life keep in mind it might all be 'pie in the sky!!'

welbeck

i do get the feeling that most people on here are quite wealthy.

Oh, really?

I thought there seemed to be quite a mix

Quite wealthy? I wish. It would be bliss to not have to worry about an unexpected bill arriving.

There are only two people, now no longer posting, one recent and one a few years ago, who I had those thoughts about.
In both cases I felt amused not any worse than that.
My OP was really about the little things, not boasting really, but which set up the image of them I feel they were trying to portray.
Does that make sense?

That was in reply to DannyRea’s post.

I have always recognised that the main demographic on Gransnet is well educated, middle Class, middle Income, middle England. I am none of these but nevertheless often find common ground with many in that demographic who share the same life challenges as I do or are simply kind and caring people.

I do not appreciate, on GN and in real life, 'advice' when meted out by someone whose circumstances are very different from my own, nor blanket assumptions that those of us who are not 'comfortably off' nor well educated have only ourselves to blame.

Usually it is not bad choices, or lack of hard work that lead to reduced circumstances, but rather life events, bad not good luck, divorce, illness, widowhood.

This thread started with some references to the show garden thread. I love to see beautiful gardens and appreciate the work that has gone into them. However, for me the purpose of a garden is to provide food, exercise, fresh air. I am so lucky that my cottage sits at the foot of the hills and nature provides me with an ever changing landscape (balm for the soul) covered in wild garlic, followed by bluebells, then broom, then autumn colours, I never have to buy firewood or logs the forest supplies all I need, also in autumn yields more brambles than I can cope with for bramble and apple jelly. Meanwhile my garden makes me self sufficient in organically grown from seed veggies and fruit from existing bushes/trees or those swapped with other gardeners. All totally VAT and tax free. I consider myself blessed and rich in what matters to me. I do spend a fair bit of money on wild bird seed but am rewarded with constant bird song and the company of some almost tame feathered friends.

I take no exception to GNs sharing (I don't see it as boasting) about what gives then pleasure. We are all different and should not be labelled and put into boxes.

Witzend

Re money giving you choices, many years ago an old friend of ours referred to his aspiration of having ‘f*ck off money* - i.e. enough that if you hated your job, you could tell your employer to f* off.
Very neatly put, I always thought.

DH used to say that if he ever won the lottery, he'd hire the most expensive Rolls Royce and turn up to work in it while he worked his notice.
He never won anything and has given up buying a ticket now.