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Lockdown has made me realise I have absolutely no friends.

(186 Posts)
sodapop Mon 06-Jul-20 08:42:16

I agree with Urmstongran and Whitewave it's hard if you are not a naturally outgoing person Kandinsky but take some gradual steps to meeting new people. Volunteering, hobby groups etc are all good ways of meeting people. Relax and enjoy any activity you get involved with, friendships like any relationship take time and patience. Good luck.

Oldwoman70 Mon 06-Jul-20 08:29:07

I am in the same position. I am the one who always contacts "friends" not one has phoned/emailed/texted me first. I have no family and during lockdown the only people I saw were the lovely supermarket delivery drivers. I feel that it is only when I make contact that they remember I exist.

We hear wonderful stories of people helping the elderly with food parcels etc. yet I feel there is a large forgotten group who, whilst coping and not in need of any physical help would like some human contact.

Tuppence15 Mon 06-Jul-20 08:27:30

Yes Kandinsky I am in that position. It has been an incredibly lonely year.
And for those who say “ who have you contacted” your missing the point. If you don’t know anyone you have no one to contact.

Kandinsky Mon 06-Jul-20 08:26:45

A couple of lovely x posts there.

Kandinsky Mon 06-Jul-20 08:25:13

I haven’t contacted anyone during lockdown because I haven’t got any friends to contact.
Over the years I have tried keeping in touch with a few people, but more often than not my suggestions to meet up are met with excuses why they can’t, or we meet up once or twice & then it just dwindles into nothing. I know that’s partly my fault, but I have a bit of a complex about appearing too ‘needy’ - I’m essentially quite shy, which doesn’t help when you’re trying to make & keep friends.

sunlover that’s really good to hear.
Thank you.

Whitewavemark2 Mon 06-Jul-20 08:23:59

kandinsky. Why not decide to make something positive about your realisation that you have no friends?

Look up volunteering and as lock down eases see if there is something you can give to the community. Join the WI or a club that takes your fancy. How about ramblers? Evening classes?

Be pro-active. Then relax, don’t be needy it puts people off. I’m sure even if you don’t make “ a friend” as such you will enjoy the experiences.

Tbh I can’t say that I have a best friend now. My best friend died a couple of years ago. I do have friends but no longer a best one.

Urmstongran Mon 06-Jul-20 08:15:08

Sorry to hear you feel friend-less Kandinsky. You’re definitely not to old to make friends! I’m fortunate to have them at home but when I retired almost 6y ago and started to spend more time out here in Malaga I made some new ones too.

You’ve kinda got to ‘put yourself out there’ a bit as no-one is going to come knocking for you. If you work you’re availability will be restricted but there’s lots of groups or activities you could join. Or start your own book club/crafting group?

Are you shy or sociable? I’m sure your nice and perhaps you’re just feeling a bit down right now? Good luck going forward. Smile until it’s real. Happy people attract others.
?

Furret Mon 06-Jul-20 08:11:25

Like Kittye my first question would be ‘who have you contacted yourself?’

Sunlover Mon 06-Jul-20 08:01:03

You are never too old to make new friends. I’m 67 and 6 years ago joined a book group. I knew a couple of the ladies but most were new to me. Best decision I made was going along to that first meeting. Last year we all had a weeks holiday together and are booked to repeat in September. Seeing them all later today.
Be brave and join different groups. I’m sure you will find other people who are looking for friendship.

Kittye Mon 06-Jul-20 07:55:16

Have you tried contacting others ? They may be feeling the same

Kandinsky Mon 06-Jul-20 07:45:07

No ‘how are you coping?’ phone calls or messages. No door stop visits. No dropping off a cake to cheer me up.

Nothing.

At 57 I’ll just have to accept that apart from my husband & children, no one really cares.

Anyone else in this position?

Just to add, I have had a few friends over the years, usually work colleagues who are lovely when I’m around, but once I leave they just don’t bother keeping in touch. ( whereas I know they keep in touch with others )

At 57 I just feel too old to try & make new friends. I guess I just have to accept I’m not particularly popular or worth keeping in touch with.