Still can't get to see new baby

This is not the right thread to start lecturing folk on the plight of the ‘homeless’ who to my understanding are now in shelters anyway.

This thread is for those feeling desperately sad because their children and grandchildren live abroad.

They shouldn’t be made to feel that their unhappiness is nothing compared to drug addicts and alcoholics.

This is an extraction:
Travel ban USA
The Trump government currently does not exclude travellers based on their nationality, but it does do so based on their travel history. Even if they possess an ESTA they can still be denied entry into the United States, due to the risk of spreading the coronavirus. This temporary measure is better known as the travel ban. The travel ban means that no travellers will be allowed on US territory who in the 14 days prior to their trip have been to the United Kingdom, Ireland or any of the listed countries below:

Newatthis, I understand how you feel about not being able to travel to see grandchildren and your children. It isn’t at all helpful when people say that you are used to not seeing them as if that makes it alright. You might be used to not seeing them very often but you knew that you could see them or you had a planned trip to look forward to. My son and his family live in Adelaide and I can’t see a time in the foreseeable future when we will be able to visit. Know that you are not alone.

Unfortunately people do say insensitive things. “Ooh how lovely , holidays in Australia “. I don’t even like the place !!
. And actually I miss my son more even than the grandchildren. Nobody seems to register that.

Esmerelda

Although it's easy to fall into the trap of sympathising with you, my advice is different.
Next time you feel down about it think of all those people who have no safe place to sleep because they are homeless (through no fault of their own) or can't afford to eat because they are not working (ditto). Then do something positive about these situations that are happening right here in the UK, like volunteering at or donating to a homeless shelter or a food bank, so you have something good to share with your family in the US the next time you Skype or Facetime.
These are just suggestions but I'm sure you can think of something good to do that is appropriate to you and the place you live, even if it's just helping out neighbours ... which you may well do, I don't know. But concentrate on positives, not negatives.

I'm obviously a hard-hearted Hannah and am prepared to duck behind the sofa but I'm all for making good memories rather than dwelling on what you think you are missing out on. Carpe diem (and make it a good one).

You have family who live far away I presume ?

If you don’t then please don’t be so patronising.

Luckily our whole family got together in Australia, last November, for my daughter’s wedding, so I got to see my 3 year old GD and my 3 children who live over there.
I arrived home at the end of February, with tickets a,ready booked to return there in May for the birth of my son’s first baby.
He is now 8 weeks old. Luckily the Covid restrictions have all been lifted locally, in Perth, , so his mum’s parents, who live nearby, can visit. They are still stopping people from flying in, though, and I wouldn’t risk the journey yet, anyway.
The family are all very good at video chatting with me, so I am up to speed with them all. Nothing can beat physical contact though.
What can’t be cured must be endured, as they say. I will get my cuddles eventually! Here are my two lovely Aussie GC.

Thank goodness for technology . Years ago would have been horrendous.
My GC live 4 hours away, saw them this weekend for the first time since February. No hugs kisses but lots of time with them. Will be a few month till we see them again.
I feel ok because we can see and speak to them as often as we like via internet. We just have to be thankful for being healthy and knowing they are well.
I know it is hard on all who live a distance but we're all ok and that's the main thing. Keep chins up ladies ,your time will come.

Lucca, yes ,I miss my son very much, even more than the grandchildren. I am pleased that he has a good life and is happy but sometimes I remember my little boy and it makes me very sad.
Missing grandchildren is a bit different...they grow up so fast and it would be lovely to get to see them and know them as they change.

Lucca Yes ... 23 years and at a time with no modern technology so relying on airmail. You?

My tiny Australian grandchild is 5 weeks old and still not due for another month. Three rather older siblings had to stay 11 weeks with their grandparents 8 hours away from where their mum was being looked after by their dad, shielding in bed in hospital accommodation over 3 hours away from home. My daughter had a highly dangerous pregnancy and had no warning that she couldn’t go back home and no chance to say goodbye to her children (or “please” to the grandparents!). I knew exactly what was going on and was terrified and totally helpless.
Thank heaven she survived a huge operation, though with life changing injuries and will be home from hospital with the baby soon. Her husband has had to go back to work and the children are at last back home. I have always been there - for the wedding and the children’s births and in between - and don’t know how she is going to manage on her own in her present state. Not being able to help is torture.
We message all the time and she sends photos nearly every day and she is alive so I am just thankful for that.

Esmerelda

Lucca Yes ... 23 years and at a time with no modern technology so relying on airmail. You?

Obviously. And I still found your post patronising.

I’m very grateful not to be in your situation as my GC live quite near me and I’ve seen them regularly at a distance of course. Well done on giving up so much of your time to help others. I can’t say I know how you feel but just want to tell you that I’m thinking of you and the other grandparents in similar circumstances. Hoping very much that things will improve soon for you all.

Minerva that is so hard for you all, youhave my absolute sympathy. Not being able to do nothing to help is so difficult. My DIL is going through a terrible time currently (but thankfully she has parents nearby) and the future may be very bleak for them, I hate not being able to hug my son when he’s upset.

Minerva and Lucca and to all who are waiting to see grandchildren ?

Bamm you’ve hit the nail on the head for me. I miss my son so much it really hurts.

Newatthis, I do understand how you feel my are only in Cyprus, but I can’t go, holiday in May was cancelled. I should have been going on Wednesday for my granddaughter’s 3rd birthday on Friday. Cyprus does not want us because of Covid 19, they were very strict, and feel we weren’t, they will make a decision 1 August to see if they will allow people from UK in, but it is not looking hopeful, missing my daughter and the children is awful. In your position I would have been distraught not seeing the new baby. Keep hoping and praying.

I just want to say how much I feel for all of you with grandchildren abroad. It must be so difficult not having any idea when it will be safe to travel to see them, even more so when a new baby has been born. for you all.

Two of my children live abroad. One in North America, the other Europe. It’s only on Gransnet that I feel others actually understand this situation and it has been such a support to me when I have been in despair. Yes, there are others worse off but it’s not a competion so saying that only makes me feel worse.
When you have always made sure you visit regularly and maintain close bonds, the present situation just hits you like a double whammy. It may be possible to physically make the journey, but if you’ve been shielded etc etc then you shouldn’t even be catching a bus let alone a jumbo jet for hours on end!
Friends do say crass things and I have managed to harden myself to this but it is very very difficult and does affect my friendships.
Thank goodness for the empathy on Gransnet.

I share the pain of all of you who are waiting and hoping for it to be safe to travel to visit families, we will be delighted when we can fly to Australia and visit DD and 3 GC. Luckily we were there in February, but by now would have been planning another visit, and also making arrangements for them to come here in December for DD2s wedding, Christmas and DHs 70th. The twins were 3 last week and we had a family zoom while they opened their presents- good fun but not the same! My friends try to understand but don’t appreciate how difficult it is knowing that you can’t go, whatever happens. My daughter says she has always been happy living in Aus, knowing that we could be together within a few days in case of emergency, now that security has been taken from her And it worries her. Let’s all keep contact going as much as we can and look forward to those hugs when they come.

My sympathies newatthis . Its is very hard. I too have family in the States. Yes we talk over the internet, but sometimes after a call I ache to see them so much its like a real physical pain and I almost (but not quite) wish we hadnt made the call in the first place. I always hoped I would be part of their lives in a way that just isnt possible and somehow the current situation has just underlined that for me. All I can offer, apart from sympathy, is the thought that one day all of this will be over and we will be able to put our arms around our loved ones again.

Just an update - Thank you for all your kind words, I hope that too you will all be with your grandchildren soon - it's heartbreaking for us all. I just have received a lovely bouquet of flowers from my daughter in the USA with a note saying they were from my little grandchildren and how they are missing me - clearly our hearts are in touch.

Another update - 18 months on and still not been able to see my daughter or granddaughter. New baby is now mum and we still haven't met. Heart aching and breaking.

I’m so sorry Newatthis that you have been unable to see your daughter or new grandchild. It’s a horrible situation for so many grandparents the world over. We are not allowed to travel or it’s unsafe to travel. My daughter and family moved to New Zealand about two months ago, so we’re lucky that we got to see whenas allowed under the restrictions until then. Now, like so many others, we don’t know when we’ll see them again as New Zealand won’t allow entry to anyone (our daughter and her husband went as essential workers.) It’s very hard, I’m often very low. Being lectured about being better off than others as one poster has done is not helpful to anyone on this thread. People are in real pain because of this, I feel for you all, and now I’ve joined you.

Thank you Maddyone and everyone else for your support. Hugs to you all.Meant to say new baby is now one (not mum)