Gransnet forums


Still can't get to see new baby

(47 Posts)
Newatthis Sat 11-Jul-20 12:41:50

I posted a few weeks ago and chatted about us grans who have our children and grandchildren living overseas and how difficult it is (at the best of times)to see them but even more so now. I have a 4 hour trip to the airport, an 11 hour flight and an ongoing 1 hour journey but I do try to go as often as possible which is usually twice a year. At the moment I can't go even if I wanted to as my grandchildren live in USA and we have closed our borders to all people coming from the USA and they have to us visiting there also. My new granddaughter is now 6 weeks old, I should have been there for the birth. I haven't seen my daughter (or other grandchild) for 6 months and don't know when I will. With the COVID situation in the USA it is looking more and more bleak. I am getting very down about it even though I try not to, not withstanding the worry of whether they will catch it. My friends and family cannot understand how I feel as they have the 'Well, you don't see that much of them anyway" attitude. I feel that I have no-one to talk to about this who might understand. I know there are many of you out there who are in similar situations.

farview Sat 11-Jul-20 12:52:28

I understand how you feel...luckily inward in Dubai in January when GS was born...should have gone again in April &June but couldn't...Australia trip to see my granddaughters there is now on is really tough..thank goodness for technology to at least see photos...try to keep your chin up...💐

farview Sat 11-Jul-20 12:52:54

I was..not inward..

Phoebe221 Sat 11-Jul-20 13:04:04

I hope that you're able to see your grandchildren soon.

Wishing the best for you and your family.

BlueSky Sat 11-Jul-20 22:43:38

I should have gone to Australia to see my DGC in May but of course couldn't and don't know when it will be possible. Seems a long time away at the moment but we can only be hopeful and try to stay positive. There are quite a few grans here on GN in the same position so we are not the only ones. flowers

JenniferEccles Sat 11-Jul-20 22:56:17

I’m not in this situation but I can really imagine how tough it must be for everyone with family overseas.

It’s hard enough for you at the best of times but with this wretched virus hanging on it must seem interminable.

It’s very unsympathetic and unkind for your friends to dismiss your anguish with dismissive comments about how little you see of your family anyway.

All you can do is keep a close eye on the situation and if the travel restrictions are lifted, be ready for the off.

Esspee Sat 11-Jul-20 23:35:17

There are still flights to the USA, you will probably have to quarantine for two weeks once you get there and another two weeks quarantine when you get home.
I intend flying to visit my grandchildren as soon as I can and will be happy to quarantine in their home for the whole month if necessary. I don’t care about going out, just want to be with the children.

jdga Sun 12-Jul-20 05:45:01

Newatthis: ((hugs))
It’s v hard, I know - my family & grandchildren live in the UK, but I live in the States. I hope you feel a bit better v soon!

Gingergirl Mon 13-Jul-20 10:02:54

I’m so sorry. It’s the very fact that you can’t go, whether you want to or not that I would think, makes it worse. It’s just a dreadful situation and Such is the selfishness of some people I’m sure many make no effort to understand how you feel. For what its worth, know that it will change eventually and you will be able to go. In the meantime, I suppose video calls are better than nothing and maybe you could spend some money sending out a few things for the new baby, family etc. It may make you feel a tiny bit better and hang on in there.

Mar59 Mon 13-Jul-20 10:24:54

My new granddaughter was born on 13th April in Australia and I was booked to go out in June but sadly couldn't travel. Its all very well folk saying at least you have video calls but its not the same I just want to cuddle her and smell her - she could be walking by the time I get to see her. So i feel your pain

Soozikinzi Mon 13-Jul-20 10:29:08

I can understand your feelings fully and I think some people must have no empathy whosever if they can’t. It’s different when you have flights planned and something to focus on surely they can see that ? I just hope yo can get a quarantined trip organised soon as others have suggested you won’t mind being stuck in with your lovely GCs once you get there xx

cakebaker Mon 13-Jul-20 10:29:41

I do feel for you. I haven't seen my grandchildren who live abroad, for over a year (aged 8, 10 and 12) and we had planned for them to visit this summer, along with our older grandchildren. We were so excited at the whole family
being together but, of course, these plans had to be abandoned. I had a spell of feeling very sorry for myself
and being a bit weepy, then one morning I gave myself a
good talking to and decided that it is no good complaining about things that can't be changed. I am so thankful for
FaceTime and have fingers firmly crossed that we will be
together within a few months. This horrible situation will

Bamm Mon 13-Jul-20 10:31:45

Newatthis I know how you feel ! My son and family are in the USA, two grandchildren, seven and nine years old. It must be especially hard for you as you are unable to visit your new grandchild. I was going to visit in April ( haven't seen them for 15 months now). They are in the South and daughter in law is a teacher, the whole situation is worrying. It's great to see them on Skype and Messenger, but hurts so much afterwards when you turn the screen off. Do hope things improve and that you can see your new grandchild soon.

Patticake123 Mon 13-Jul-20 10:42:22

Mar51 has it quite right! The amount of people who say to me ‘lucky you, all those holidays to America ‘. I could scream at them but I just smile sweetly and agree. Nothing compares to seeing your children and grandchildren in the flesh and not knowing how long it will be before it is safe to travel is horrible. In the meantime we will continue to FaceTime each week and thank our lucky stars we have the technology.

Kim19 Mon 13-Jul-20 10:55:04

I am really sympathetic to your plight. This is not a competition and comparisons are indeed odious. One of the other elements of the 'in between' visits is the planning of, knowing roughly when and looking forward to the next meeting up. This has all been taken from us with the current awful uncertainty. Of course, it could always be worse. We all know that. I relate to you completely but we just have to cling on to every little bit of rule relaxation we get until some day - bonanza! Isn't it yet another confirmation of how money doesn't always talk. Chin, chin but, golly, it's hard.

mphammersley Mon 13-Jul-20 10:58:09

Charlotte arrived in New York in late December last year. My husband and I had booked a flight for 23rd January to go and see her. Unfortunately in mid January my husband was diagnosed with heart block and needed a pacemaker fitted. The appointment for his procedure was booked for February 18th and was advised not to fly. He was so disappointed, but insisted I carried on and went. It was a difficult decision, but did not want to disappoint my daughter as this was her first baby at 45! It was just as Coronavirus was being talked about, and people were starting to worry. I had all my jabs and boosters before I went to be on the safe side with a new baby in the house, and they were not allowing visitors at that time. It was so lovely to see her and hold her at 3 weeks old. My husband was 70 at the end of April and my daughter had planned to come over to spend his birthday with him, of course that never happened. She is back working from home now, so the next planned date is Christmas, but I see that slipping away too, who would take the risk with a young baby. My husband thinks she will be walking before he gets his first cuddle. We love facetime with her, she is such a beautiful little thing, but it is heartbreaking that we are missing out on such precious time. Her Grandma in US does not get to see her very often, only just recently from a distance, so near or far the problem is similar. We just keep saying as long as we are all alright after this, that's what matters. But it is a rollercoaster of emotion without a doubt.

Esmerelda Mon 13-Jul-20 11:17:44

Although it's easy to fall into the trap of sympathising with you, my advice is different.
Next time you feel down about it think of all those people who have no safe place to sleep because they are homeless (through no fault of their own) or can't afford to eat because they are not working (ditto). Then do something positive about these situations that are happening right here in the UK, like volunteering at or donating to a homeless shelter or a food bank, so you have something good to share with your family in the US the next time you Skype or Facetime.
These are just suggestions but I'm sure you can think of something good to do that is appropriate to you and the place you live, even if it's just helping out neighbours ... which you may well do, I don't know. But concentrate on positives, not negatives.

I'm obviously a hard-hearted Hannah and am prepared to duck behind the sofa but I'm all for making good memories rather than dwelling on what you think you are missing out on. Carpe diem (and make it a good one).

juju17 Mon 13-Jul-20 11:45:47

Hi, like many of you, both our children live in Australia and have done for 8 years. We were there in February when our eldest got married and should have been returning in August for our younger sons wedding ( which has now been postponed) and for the birth of our first grandchild. I have been very down since we returned and just keep watching and reading endless news about the travel ban etc etc! It does get you down, but I agree that you just need to try and get on with it! It has never bothered me before as they both have a great life in Australia and we love visiting, but I think it is the loss of control in this situation. No longer can we just decide to book a flight to see them. Thank goodness for Facetime. Thinking of everyone in similar situations.

Newatthis Mon 13-Jul-20 11:49:34

Esmerelda - you know nothing of me ! I am an NHS volunteer, I buy extra food each week for the food banks and I regularly do shopping for my elderly neighbours. Oh and I have been making facemasks for our local hospice. I do all this because I want to - not to make me feel good but to hope that it will make other peoples lives a bit better.

Suzan05 Mon 13-Jul-20 12:15:06

My daughter and her partner had their first baby in Western Australia at the end of May. We should have been out there now. We do Face to face numerous times a week but it would be wonderful to have a cuddle. Having said that my other three grandchildren are in Surrey and Kent and we can’t see them either! We are both self isolating. Hopefully this will pass at some time but certainly Australia is not looking likely for some time yet. My best wishes to all gransnetters in the same position. 💐

Kim19 Mon 13-Jul-20 12:17:50

New👍 I'm on your wavelength.

Lupin Mon 13-Jul-20 12:30:17

I certainly do sympathise Newatthis. It's a cruel aspect of this current situation. It's hard all round.
I was ill for most of last year and didn't see my grandchildren until Christmas when I had a lovely long time with them. I have had to shield for most of this year and haven't seen any of my family, My daughters live in the UK, but one in the North, the other in the South and I am in the East. I long to see them all, and they me, They are very afraid about the possibility of making me ill, and feel the responsibility of it.
I hope all of us caught up in this evil Covid can see the people we love before too long.
Good riposte to Esmerelda by the way.

Esspee Mon 13-Jul-20 12:35:53

Am I being thick here? There are flights to the USA available. We are not prevented from travelling there though may have to quarantine in both directions.
You can go OP!
Whether you want to risk it is quite another matter.

Newatthis Mon 13-Jul-20 13:00:55

Yes, there are flights Esspee- but according to the FCO all flights to are for necessary travel only, that is business and other very strict restrictions. However, even if I meant with the criteria laid down by the FCO the USA government have banned all entry to the USA from EU countries which includes the UK.

Nitpick48 Mon 13-Jul-20 13:01:38

My son and his wife only live 150 miles away, my new granddaughter is 3 weeks old and because I’m shielding we can’t go and see them. His wife’s had a c-section and can’t travel yet, so I don’t know when I’ll see them! My arms ache to cuddle this tiny little girl.