Growing old gracefully or disgracefully

Depends what you mean by disgracefully. What is it exactly you will be doing ?

I have already acted disgracefully according to my eldest who has finally forgiven me for leaving her Dad about 15 years ago.

Having just celebrated my 70th (an age I never wished to reach) I shall just saunter into the sunset, enjoying the scenery along the way.

PS - I have to tell you that one Son in Law has said twice this year that he can't believe my age, what a lovely person, I love him, but not quite as much as my beloved daughters.

Definitely disgracefully. I no longer have the inhibitions of youth, happily wear red with purple, say my piece without reservation but of course within the bounds of reasonable good manners, skip when I'm happy, cry when I'm not, slap my forehead with a full ice-cream cone so that I look like a unicorn to amuse the grandchildren. I'd even wear six inch heels if I thought I could walk in them.
On the other hand I wouldn't eat while walking down the street, put my feet up on a seat on public transport or drop litter, so perhaps not so disgracefully after all.

Lucca, my guess would be that "Disgracefully" is to step outside the box.

Old people have grey hair, my wife dyes her's, in her words: "Kick-Ass Red!" Old people hold a meeting in the threshold of the supermarket door, (actually they really do that in supermarket that I shop at.) I'm in and out as quick as I can.

Old people, especially the men, love to go to the recycle centre, during the rush hour. Don't they just.

What old people don't do is ride great big Harley Davidson motor bikes. (I'm not going to show you the photo.)

Old people like to take a nap in the afternoons, they certainly don't stay out until the small hours. Oh yes they do.

Old people certainly do not drive forty ton heavy good trucks, not at the age of 83, do they? www.metro.news/83-year-old-great-grandad-crowned-worlds-oldest-hgv-driver/1412887/

I think that you might be getting the idea of what the public expects oldies to do, or be. Shock 'em!

Ok. Sorry but I wouldn’t class any of the things mentioned as disgraceful. “Kicking my heels and laughing all the way” ? Really ?

Well......I may run my stick along the park railings ( if nobody is looking)? otherwise I shall just continue being me.

I know what you mean though Judy it’s a rebellion against the ‘dying of the light’ .....some go quietly and some go kicking and screaming, but in the end, we all have to go!

Noel Streatfeild wrote a book called Growing Old Gracefully. My sister gave a copy to our mother when we were in our teens. Our mother was VERY offended!

If wearing the full makeup specifically designed for older skins (including eye shadow, mascara - the lot) is considered growing old disgracefully, then that's me.

On the other hand, I've given up hair-tinting: had a scalp problem. So am now grey/whitish. I guess THAT is growing old gracefully!

I don’t intend to change, I hope I’ll still be me. I don’t spend any time worrying about what people think, but on the other hand I’ve always done my best to avoid the “I’m mad, me!” brigade.

The Jenny Joseph poem is written from the viewpoint of a woman who’s never had any fun. I’ve always worn purple.

Since Judy mentioned Jenny Joseph’s poem, here it is, just to remind us:

“ When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we’ve no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I’m tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick flowers in other people’s gardens
And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practise a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.”

I’m afraid I’ve never liked the poem. Eating 3lbs of sausages in one go, picking flowers out of other people’s gardens and spitting have never been my thing, and I don’t intend to change my behaviour just because I’m 70.

But perhaps the poem means more than that. It was written in 1961 when women’s lives were far more restricted than they are now, and there was far less choice of food, clothes etc.
And perhaps it’s not about liberation and finally pleasing ourselves. Perhaps she was anticipating one of the perils of old age - not the freedom to do as she likes, but the disinhibition and loss of dignity that comes with dementia.

Sorry everyone. As you were.

I dont want to be 70, but I am! It can come in handy for when I need one of the family to help with something. They dont look at me as though I’m old but I do remind them sometimes. ?. They do say ‘Mum, you dont look 70’ which is lovely. I laugh hysterically with my friends and we have fun in our own way. I don’t want to be disgraceful but I don’t have any qualms now about what I want or don’t want to do.

No doubt about it....
But that’s me anyway, I think its being contrary.
I have a helluva good time though....

But if we acted like the author wrote in just the first paragraph, social services would be called in, and I suspect we would be shipped off somewhere.

If that were my mum, I would be quite concerned!

I don’t think it’s to the letter.........
Point is you’re not having conform any longer to any kind of old lady stereotype but rather behave very much as you please. It doesn’t mean I would spit in street either unless of course.............

It’s a lovely, tempting idea to become a bit eccentric as we age but can we really change our personality to such an extent to behave disgracefully?

It depends on your definition of
‘disgracefully’ as well doesn’t it?

Wearing mis-matching clothes and colours doesn’t come under that category in my book.

In any case I am not someone who likes drawing attention to myself so probably I wouldn’t be able to carry it off !

Nothing wrong with wearing several bright colours and doing what you want, as long as it doesn’t hurt others.

I dye my hair and hated being grey in lockdown . I feel so much more confident than I did when I was young . Is “ growing old disgracefully” being daring or just being confident enough to not be swayed by others opinions, that you don’t agree with? Live every day as if it’s your last, one day you’re going to be right!

Gingster that's just how I feel, still have fun with friends and family, avoid things I don't want to do, and am quite enjoying having no family responsibilities as children and grandchildren all grown up and settled now. I'm enjoying my seventies. In do appreciate the fact that my health and that of my husband allows us to be relatively carefree.

I would be disgraceful but my body won't let me. I'm just sauntering into the sunset and admiring the view with shandi. (Although apparently becoming more opinionated. They don't realise I always have been - but kept quiet.)

Growing old disgracefully keeps you young I think!

Pink hair and purple hair is in my future. I haven't got to 70 yet but colouring my hair brightly will soon.
I look at a photo of my grandmother five years younger than I in it. She looked so old. I have my Disney t-shirts and my fun. Going to bed late. Waking up late ....giggling with my husband over silly silly things.
I love I am growing old and enjoying it (for the most part )

Growing old disgracefully is very conformist, I think.
I shall grow old however it happens.
It's not looking good for anything "disgraceful" so far.

www.redhatsociety.com/page/red_hat_revolution

and

www.redhatsmanitoba.com/do-i-have-to-wear-red-and-purple/

Warning – When I am an Old Woman
When I am an old woman, I shall wear purple
with a red hat that doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
and satin candles, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I am tired
and gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
and run my stick along the public railings
and make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
and pick the flowers in other people's gardens
and learn to spit.
You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
and eat three pounds of sausages at a go
or only bread and pickles for a week
and hoard pens and pencils and beer nuts and things in boxes.
But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
and pay our rent and not swear in the street
and set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.
But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.
~Jenny Joseph

I'm not that old yet (64) but I like to think that I don't act old (yet!) Seeming old isn't so much in your actions as in your attitudes. I like heavy metal music, I play games on my Playstation, I spend half the day on my smart phone. I laugh and mess about with my family and can be as daft as a teenager.