Will I ever be able to just think of me?

Hi Skysearcher36 You do not say if their other Parent is involved in their life? You cannot take this on alone...your health has to be prioritised. God forbid what would your Adult Children do if you were not around?? Difficult as it is for you...it is time for your Son & Daughter to stand on their own two feet...that is life. You are doing them no favours financially supporting them if they are Adult age. I do feel for your son and the furlough situation...it is not fair he is in this situation and wants to work...but sometimes life is not fair. He can claim benefits and I know that takes a while to be paid out. If you are supporting him financially until he receives his benefit then I can understand that. You must now start to prioritise yourself and your health and let your son & daughter stand on their own two feet.

Just to add Skysearcher36...you have done a good job all round and done it well. xxxx

Without sounding rude, as you are 66 the likelihood is that your son and daughter are in, at least, their late 30s, and should be supporting themselves. You can’t carry on working just for them when you’ve got to keep yourself.

Perhaps what they need is a push into reality.

It must be very hurtful when you hear friends talking about their children and probably grandchildren Unless there are serous health issues any adult child who is still depending on their parents to support them should be thoroughly ashamed of themselves. We love our children, we bring them up as well as we can and do our best to give them a good start in life - and then they should be able to stand on their own two feet

It will not be easy, but the time is long past when you have to think of yourself. Just do it!

Speak to your children and give them three months leeway,after that you will be living on your OAP and not able to help them.

They are adults and should take resonsiblity for themselves, if if that means social security. Your daughter needs to be asked to move out within the coming three months.

My friend is the same age and has income problems as well as health issues although she isn’t supporting anyone financially. She recently spoke to her manager and has made an arrangement to work 3 days a week. This will give her some time to rest but she will still have some salary to rely on. She sees this as a first step towards retirement. Maybe a compromise of this kind would help?

Forgive me but where do you see this situation ending? When you fall over? Where is your son or your daughter's incentive to change anything whilst you're bailing them out? I know it's hard not to rush in to help but in doing so we often disable our children's confidence in their own ability to handle life. Of course, we don't know the stories behind all this but at 66 I'm afraid it's time to put you and your own health first. You need to give them a deadline as others have suggested - say 3 or 6 months maximum. Say that you've given your notice (even if you haven't - you need to make it a firm deadline not a negotiable one). Then sit down with them and ask how the 3 of you are going to manage financially? Ask them to investigate what benefits they can get, for example. Make them part of the solution. You never know - they may just surprise you!

Skysearcher - you do realise that you can apply for your pension AND still work, don't you? The total of your paid employment and your pension will be taken into account by the Inland Revenue and you will be taxed on any amount that exceeds the allowable income. The downside of this is that when you do stop working your income will drop to just the amount of pension

The downside also Skysearcher is that the ACs will end up with it.

Time to cut them off and live your life the way you want to OP and if you want to retire then do it,

If son has lived independently until bloody Covid came along then he should be able to sort himself out in the coming months & his financial difficulties may only be temporary , even being able to eventually pay back any monies given to him by mum. Daughter is still dependent on living at home. It costs a lot to live independently & if her income is low may not be able to afford to move out but ought to be contributing to the household expenses.
I agree that if OP wants to retire, or reduce work commitments, then giving a 3-6 month warning gives ACs time to sort their finances out. That seems reasonable and fair to all concerned.