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A very nasty surprise - be ready if it happens to you

(104 Posts)
Applegran Wed 23-Sep-20 12:20:06

One evening I had a phone call. On my phone it said "Private caller" - not unusual, and I answered. It was a man's voice and he said some truly horrible and threatening things - it was such a surprise that I was both shocked and confused. I rang off. He rang again several times and I answered, foolishly thinking it might be family calling. In these calls he said among other things that he could see me in my kitchen. No he couldn't - I was in the hall, but if it had been a lucky guess on his part, it would have made it even more scary for me. Finally I didn't pick up the phone and the calls stopped. I have reported this to the police and my phone provider is on the case to try to trace the caller. This has never happened to me before - or since, and I guess it is very rare and the caller picks random numbers to ring, so I think it very unlikely that many - or any - Gransnetters reading this will have this happen to them. But it could happen to someone and I wanted to warn you in advance - the caller doesn't know who you are, or where you are and can cause you no harm. Later on line I got this advice - if you get a threatening phone call, put the phone down and walk away for several minutes and then ring off. The caller won't want that to happen again and is far less likely to call you again. I hope this never happens to you - and it probably won't! But in the unlikely event that you do get a call like this, I hope this helps.

Maggiemaybe Wed 23-Sep-20 15:46:10

When I was in a student house I answered the phone to a call for another girl who lived there. Up I traipsed to the attic room and back down again to say sorry, she’s not in. He actually said “well, you’ll do then” and proceeded to give me the benefit of his warped mind. Turns out he’d been ringing that poor girl for weeks. There are some sick people about. I hope yours gets caught, Applegran.

Callistemon Wed 23-Sep-20 15:47:59

Applegran you can get a call guard on your phone, members of my family have this. Whoever calls you has to announce their name and press a number to let the recipient know who is calling and whether or not they wish to pick up.
I think the one they have is Sky Talk Shield but there must be others.

It's horrible, isn't it.

Someone used to call me many years ago very late at night; I have no idea who he was and he said nothing untoward, just would start chatting as if he knew me and no, he didn't have the wrong number.

sparkly1000 Wed 23-Sep-20 16:01:35

When nursing we had our fair share of these on the ward phone usually with an invitation to admire the callers manhood.
We always responded. "Yes please, we could all do with a good laugh tonight.

Grannybags Wed 23-Sep-20 16:08:58

I've had a few nasty calls and I've said "Hang on a minute I'll just get my son, he's a police officer" He is but doesn't live with me! They didn't hang around to find out.

AGAA4 Wed 23-Sep-20 16:38:59

Applegran that must have been very frightening. Many years ago I had calls when my husband was on nights. They came usually just after he had left for work. The caller just didn't say anything and rang off after a few minutes. I was worried it was a neighbour who was able to see or knew that my husband had left the house.
I stopped answering at that time of night and the calls stopped.

Madgran77 Wed 23-Sep-20 16:42:43

That happened to me many years ago and yes it is scary! Thanks for highlighting Apple

Franbern Wed 23-Sep-20 16:45:08

It is a horrible thing to happen and can be quite frightening if living alone.
Back in the past, these sort of calls, or just plain dirty ones, was far more common, as no caller number came up.

There are a couple of ways of dealing with this sort of thing. Firstly, let all incoming calls go to answerphone, then you can decide if you want to talk to whoever is calling.

Otherwise have some of your own fun with them. I would never do anything cruel and dangerous, like blowing a whistle down the phone, but my favourite withe dirty callers was to say EXTREMELY LOUDLY ' SORRY, I HAVE LOST MY HEARING AIDS AND CANNOT HEAR YOU, PLEASE SPEAK VERY LOUDLY'.
Then however, loudly they spoke I would interrupt to say still could not hear and understand them, could they please shout louder. You will be pleasantly surprised as to how quickly they ring off and never bother to ring back!!!

Ladyleftfieldlover Wed 23-Sep-20 16:56:52

I dial 1572 when I get an annoying phone call - not as bad as this though. It is usually stuff like my internet is about to be disconnected or someone had used my MasterCard overseas. Simply ring 1572 and the number is blocked.

Fuchsiarose Wed 23-Sep-20 17:02:11

Such sad people who do this to others. I stopped having a landline years ago, because even an answerphone did not stop this nonsense. I never answer unknown numbers, because genuine callers will leave a message ie, hospitals. Some people clearly do not understand the stress they cause to others. I hope you feel supported Apple, by others on here

Applegran Wed 23-Sep-20 17:34:30

Thank you to everyone for your kindness and helpful messages. I did get over it quite soon but for an hour or so did feel frightened. I hope these generous messages may turn out to be helpful to someone else, if they ever get a nasty call. Its very good to have all this support - I am grateful.

Outofstepwithhumanity Wed 23-Sep-20 17:54:47

Let every call go to answerphone or voicemail & don’t pick up until you know who is calling. This stops any unwanted calls.

M0nica Wed 23-Sep-20 18:07:21

I had a call like this, smutty more than deeply unpleasant. I just put the receiver down but I had a feeling I recognised the voice.

Sometime later DH's manager rang to speak to him and I recognised his voice. He had made the call to me shortly after the company dinner dance, when I had danced with him. He struck me as a sleaze ball at the event. The phone call just confirmed it.

I told DH about it, but not until he had moved to another job.

Whitewavemark2 Wed 23-Sep-20 18:10:58

I have a call blocker. Everyone has to announce who they are and I will only accept if I recognise the caller.

It does the trick brilliantly.

Spangler Wed 23-Sep-20 18:16:33

But does call blocker work for "private number" as mentioned in the original post? My landline number is ex-directory, it will always show a call to the receiver as: "number withheld."

Whitewavemark2 Wed 23-Sep-20 18:43:54

The way it works is that they have to announce who they are the phone then continues ringing as far as caller is concerned. You however receive the recorded message of the callers name and press 1 if you accept their call. If you don’t the caller is then given the option of leaving a recorded message.

We’ve had the phone about 5 years now and have never received a call we didn’t want.

harrigran Wed 23-Sep-20 19:08:11

DH worked away from home for 16 years which meant I was alone at night, I received several horrible calls saying they knew where I lived and what they were going to do to me.
The worst one was at 2am one morning, heavy breathing and "I'm watching you".
I suspect some cold callers that get the brush off during the day deliberately ring at night to get their own back.

emmasnan Wed 23-Sep-20 19:45:40

Years ago when I was busy with two children and a job I answered a call from a man who asked what colour pants I was wearing. I thought for a second and said " I really have no idea, I put them on in a rush the morning and didn't notice and haven't had a chance to look since".
He just rang off!

threexnanny Wed 23-Sep-20 20:16:28

Recently our SIL had a phone call which started off as the usual scam about the internet. As SIL disputed what he was saying the caller became more and more abusive and threatened his life and the grandchildren's. It was reported to the police and the call was traced as coming from Asia but as that was the case they couldn't do anything about it.

Kamiso Wed 23-Sep-20 20:29:03

I unintentionally confused the caller I had. He kept calling me “pet” but I thought he was saying “Pat”. The lady we bought the house from was Pat so I told him Pat has moved. He then asked who Pat was and the conversation got more and more confusing. Eventually he put the phone down!

It was different for my friend. For various reasons the information that her husband had walked out was in the news. She started getting obscene phone calls in the middle of the night. If she didn’t answer the caller kept ringing and it woke her little daughter. The police and BT got involved and eventually the caller was traced and was just a random stranger. The precursor to internet stalkers?

Luckygirl Wed 23-Sep-20 22:40:32

There are some real weirdos around!!

Elizabeth1 Thu 24-Sep-20 02:50:21

Thanks for the heads up Applegran

quizqueen Thu 24-Sep-20 03:24:40

If I had an abusive call, I wouldn't speak at all and would lay the phone down on its side leaving the line open. I would then call the police on a second phone and would leave the line connected for however long it took for the call to be traced, even if it took days. I hardly use my landline anyway. There's nothing more frustrating to someone who gets their fun by making abusive calls than not being able to use their own phone. I also leave call centre people hanging on the line for hours at their expense,

Moggycuddler Thu 24-Sep-20 09:56:46

Could try just laughing and then end the call. They want you to he scared.

Tanjamaltija Thu 24-Sep-20 10:11:06

I used to get calls on my mobile phone, and they'd ring off as soon as I picked up. I went to the Police and they told me I'd have to go to court to see who it was, and I didn't want to show the caller he'd fazed me. I went to the service provider and they said (although the person was invading my privacy) that Data Protection Laws forbade their giving out names attached to private numbers. After about wo years the calls stopped coming. I live in Malta, Europe.

spabbygirl Thu 24-Sep-20 10:12:21

I had similar 7 or 8 years ago, 'I know everything about you,' the caller said before asking questions. My husband was next to me and took the phone and hung up. that's what I'll do if it happens again. What a shame BlueBelle, these should have more publicity so people know