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A very nasty surprise - be ready if it happens to you

(104 Posts)
Applegran Wed 23-Sept-20 12:20:06

One evening I had a phone call. On my phone it said "Private caller" - not unusual, and I answered. It was a man's voice and he said some truly horrible and threatening things - it was such a surprise that I was both shocked and confused. I rang off. He rang again several times and I answered, foolishly thinking it might be family calling. In these calls he said among other things that he could see me in my kitchen. No he couldn't - I was in the hall, but if it had been a lucky guess on his part, it would have made it even more scary for me. Finally I didn't pick up the phone and the calls stopped. I have reported this to the police and my phone provider is on the case to try to trace the caller. This has never happened to me before - or since, and I guess it is very rare and the caller picks random numbers to ring, so I think it very unlikely that many - or any - Gransnetters reading this will have this happen to them. But it could happen to someone and I wanted to warn you in advance - the caller doesn't know who you are, or where you are and can cause you no harm. Later on line I got this advice - if you get a threatening phone call, put the phone down and walk away for several minutes and then ring off. The caller won't want that to happen again and is far less likely to call you again. I hope this never happens to you - and it probably won't! But in the unlikely event that you do get a call like this, I hope this helps.

Jane10 Thu 24-Sept-20 13:30:30

Blowing a whistle down the phone will not have a damaging effect on hearing as there is a frequency cut off level. All the person on the other end will hear is a beep. It will sound as though the call is terminated. That's all. So just hang up and don't waste time with a whistle.

mrsgreenfingers56 Thu 24-Sept-20 13:25:07

Applegran I am sorry to read this post. You must remember these men just pick any random 'phone number and are either mentally ill or totally perverted. The very fact you were in your hall and not your kitchen proves that so be reassured there.

When I was living alone a few years ago I lost my cat and put notices around locally asking for any information. My cat was a small brown and fluffy one and one evening I received this 'phone call from a man asking had I found my cat, I said no and he then obviously having info from my posters asked if brown and furry and I answered yes thinking he had found it and his reply was to "Look down your knickers" What a saddo. I just put the 'phone down. Total creep.

BlueSky Thu 24-Sept-20 13:23:18

Franbern I would have probably done the same! grin

Franbern Thu 24-Sept-20 13:17:47

Many years ago, long before answerphones, etc. my neighbour took a call from a nice sounding man who said he was conducting a survey to see of M&S should open a store in the town in which we lived. She was very excited and happily replied to all his questions regarding the type, size and colour of underwear she liked and was currently wearing.
The call came to an end, and that evening over supper she told her husband about it expecting him to share her excitement about M&S coming there.
He just stared at her, at told her what a complete and utter idiot she was!!!!!

Franbern Thu 24-Sept-20 13:14:07

Whistles blow down a telephone has a high risk of doing severe, long-term damage to the caller. However, bad they are and however nasty the phone call, nobody should stoop to doing this. There are plenty, far less violent ways of stopping and dealing with these callers.

Seefah Thu 24-Sept-20 13:11:43

I can see a few people had success with a whistle - nice to know its worked elsewhere

Seefah Thu 24-Sept-20 13:09:50

I had endless nuisance calls (twice a week for months) from a company investigating PPI nonsense. I told them to stop. They didn’t. I tried to block they phoned from another number. So I got one of those attack/alarm whistles , waited until they were talking , and pulled the string . They never called again.
Another thing I did years ago was say ‘hold the line’ then said in a funny voice ‘ it’s ok Mrs Smith we’ve got it you can put the phone down’ but you have to be a bit of an actor.

Caro57 Thu 24-Sept-20 13:08:38

We have Call Guardian- any callers who we have not logged into the phone have to announce who they are. We can then choose to accept, send to answerphone or reject. Our cold calls have reduced dramatically- well worth having

Happysexagenarian Thu 24-Sept-20 12:30:14

I had a couple of calls similar to this some years ago. One was anonymous and very rude and suggestive. I told him he was a pathetic excuse for a man and he only made such calls because no woman would ever be interested in him. Then I put the phone down. He didn't call back.

The second caller was someone I knew (the 20 year old son of a friend), he said he was watching everything I did and where I went and he would be waiting for me when I least expected it. He tried to disguise his voice but I recognised it and told him (by name) to grow up and stop behaving like a silly schoolboy. He threatened to 'get me' if I told his mother. He never called again but some months later he was arrested for stealing ladies underwear off washing lines and confessed to making obscene and threatening phone calls to women.

These sorts of calls are upsetting but very rarely dangerous. The best solution is probably to say nothing, block the number and put the phone down. With me anger takes over and I give them a piece of my mind before cutting them off. We have always kept a police whistle by the phone as well, it does work and deters cold callers too!

MerylStreep Thu 24-Sept-20 12:19:14

Jane10
I started using a whistle several years ago as the cold callers weren't taking the hint? I only told them to go away ?
Word soon got round. I haven't been bothered for a long time.

elleks Thu 24-Sept-20 12:03:01

@Callistemon and welbeck; I have something similar called TrueCall.

grandtanteJE65 Thu 24-Sept-20 11:43:25

When I was a young woman, phone calls of this kind were usually obscene. At the time I knew an old lady, who was hard of hearing.

She received a phone call of this sort one evening and calmly said, "I can't hear you, I don't hear well. You will really need to speak up!"

She repeated this for about five minutes, then put the phone down.

She never had another obscene phone call.

Might be worth a try!

trustgone4sure Thu 24-Sept-20 11:37:37

I had the very same thing happen to me just last week Applegran.
I put the phone in the kitchen and went to have a shower,he was gone when i picked the phone up and he hasn`t called back.
It would have cost him that`s for sure.

LinkyPinky Thu 24-Sept-20 11:34:07

There was a nun on my BA course, Sister Pat. She told us that a man had called her convent and asked the nun who answered the phone if she wanted a twelve inch cock. The young nun turned round to the others and said ‘It’s a man trying to sell us poultry’. Sister Pat soon put her right, but had us all in stretches telling the tale.

magshard20 Thu 24-Sept-20 11:28:52

Applegran, these calls are terrible, over 30 years ago we received one on the night before my MIL's funeral, it was before caller ID was available, but I answered it, thinking it was a relative wanting to speak about details for the funeral, I just sat there "stock still" as a male voice started going on about underware, clothes I was wearing etc. As you say a random call, just really upsetting, after the week we had had making arrangments for the following day. My husband took the phone off me and started shouting down the phone, before slamming the phone down. I was just pleased that I had answered the phone and not one of my teenage daughters. Peculiar people will still be around in years to come. If I get a call now from a number I don't know, I answer but don't speak, the other end immediately put the phone down, I think I saw somewhere that the best thing to do is not speak, it seems to work for us.

supergirlsnan Thu 24-Sept-20 11:21:57

I had a call during the night asking me to stop sleeping with this woman's husband. I told her the only man in my bed was my husband but she didn't believe me. Rang again about a week later - same scenario - heard nothing since, this was about 5 years ago.

Jane10 Thu 24-Sept-20 11:11:16

Call centres used to make multiple calls to lots of numbers simultaneously. If one was answered and an operative was free to speak they'd speak to that phone. Therefore all the other numbers dialled at the same time just hung up hence the apparently silent calls.

Conni7 Thu 24-Sept-20 11:09:26

I have caller display, and don't answer the phone unless I recognise the number. All my friends' numbers are keyed in to the phone, and so it comes up with their names.

Jens Thu 24-Sept-20 11:06:49

Oh, dear, they are very upsetting. I had calls, heavy breath8ng to start, the culminated in threats. I had a whistle, from a Christmas cracker, I was so cross, I blew it down the phone.
They never called again, apparently this can cause severe earache. I hope it blew his eardrum. But it worked. Try it.

sazz1 Thu 24-Sept-20 11:06:04

I had silent phone calls for weeks and weeks. Up to 50 a day some days. We moved for OHs job and gave out the number one at a time to family and friends. It turned out to be my MIL as BT put an interception on the line and traced the calls. They didn't tell me who it was but when we told her it had been traced and police were monitoring it all calls stopped for good.

jenpax Thu 24-Sept-20 11:00:47

How horrid! Poor you; especially frightening if you are alone in the house.
Many years ago I received a pervert call, my response when he rang the second time was to whistle piercingly down the phone he rung off and was never heard from again

Jillybird Thu 24-Sept-20 10:54:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Phoebes Thu 24-Sept-20 10:52:58

I once had a funny phone call in the day time. He asked me if I was ever lonely.
As I was sitting in my living room at the time, with the cleaner hoovering around me, and keeping an eye on two small girls, the cleaner's daughter and my daughter, who were playing a noisy game, I answered with conviction: "No, never!"
If he could hear me through the racket, I'd be surprised, but he never bothered me again!

Purplepoppies Thu 24-Sept-20 10:51:14

Truly frightening apple.
When I was a child I answered the house telephone. I was home alone, my parents were at the shop. There was a heavy breather, it scared me and I hung up.
Turned out to be my grandfather ??

Growing0ldDisgracefully Thu 24-Sept-20 10:33:10

I had a call from a private number a few nights ago but my phone blocks anonymous calls and withheld numbers so if I had the same pervert as you Applegran, luckily I didn't have to listen to him.