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A friend who constantly moans about her Husband

(30 Posts)
Judy54 Sun 04-Oct-20 13:17:40

My friend moans none stop about her Husband (perhaps with good reason) but I do find it too much at times. They are both retired and she says he does absolutely nothing around the house preferring to go out and play golf. He cannot she says work the washing machine or dishwasher, does not shop, cook, wash up or do any decorating/DIY. She spends a lot of time on her own as they rarely do anything together as a couple. I suspect she has brought a lot of this on herself by always doing these things over the years because she has exacting standards. I have talked to her about having an interest of her own, encouraging her Husband to do more round the house and perhaps going out for meals together. Rather than change things she just wants to rant on about him and I am starting to lose my patience and finding her company gets me down. Any thoughts on how to handle this?

sparklingsilver28 Mon 05-Oct-20 11:50:37

Judy54 Please be kind to her. My experience exactly like your friend's H. I never said a word to anyone - too ashamed of being blinded by his charm. This at a time when a woman's earning power of no consequence in a male dominated society. On his death my grief, the anger stored for 38 years. Twenty years on, I still berate him to myself.








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Judy54 Mon 05-Oct-20 14:09:03

Thank you all for you helpful replies. Yes her Husband probably goes out to play golf to get away from her. I will try some of the suggestions given and hope that this makes her think about listening to me for a change!

Willow10 Tue 06-Oct-20 13:43:56

When my mother in law used to complain about her 'useless husband'grin, his reply was always "Well if I was perfect I wouldn't need you, would I?"grin

welbeck Tue 06-Oct-20 17:15:19

why don't you sayto her, do you think maybe he goes out to get away from being nagged at.
life is too short.
be more direct. not horrid just honest.
something like, stop cynthia; i can't do anything about it, you don't seem to want to, and i don't want to hear about it. it's actually quite draining.
or swerve her. value your own time. and ears.