Perfect Children?

@Hetty58. You didn't live in Stepford did you?

I found when my son was young and a nightmare to parent that when I made the first move and said how awful he was, other parents came out and discussed their own issues. No one wanted to be first to admit that they had problem children.

My neighbour commented to me that she hadn't realised my daughter had learned to drive. Well no, she hadn't, but apparently was seen driving my car to her friend's house! Another time I drove through town and saw her snogging her boyfriend. She was supposed to be at school. Im sure our son did all sorts too but didn't get caught.

The only one of our children to give us grief was our adopted daughter. Even as a baby she was feisty and always hard work. The four ‘home grown’ children behaved pretty well, so we thought, while E was always in trouble, at school and at home. She had a much more fiery temperament that her siblings.......and still does, at 55.
It was many years before the other ‘children’ started to let slip some of the things that they had got up to. Nothing too serious, but I’m glad we didn’t know about them at the time. Coping with E’s misdemeanours was bad enough!
They have all grown up to be loving, respectable and responsible adults. E messed about all through school, and left with no qualifications. She has always been a hard worker, though, and eventually decided to study for a degree, through the Open University, and got a 2.1 shortly before having her second child.
My deepest sympathies to those of you whose children have taken the wrong path, and brought you sorrow.

That's a lovely story about your daughter Saggi. Missfoodlove, naked in a fountain ha ha ha! I've no idea why my son and friend didn't get a fine, probably because it was New Year's Eve! I remember my son saying the policemen were very good natured. Oh, silly me, I've just recalled what else happened. The policeman had followed them down into town carrying their clothes. Those were the days!!!

I do know hat you mean about some people only sharing the good stuff about their kids and grandkids though . Sometimes I only share the horror stories such as one son who got his jaw broken on Christmas Eve as a kind of trade when someone mentions something bad their kids have done . It’s nice to bond over the awful exploits our 6 sons have had but only when reciprocated!

Honestly none of mine have gotten into any trouble....

disclaimer

..... that I know about

Lol

Missfoodlove I too used to confide in friends, one in particular, who never seemed to have a moments problem with her child. Made me feel a proper failure as a mum.
It all turned out ok in the end and they, (our two,) and we mums are still friends.

This thread is warms my heart. I had a bad upbringing and even a foot out of line was a massive transgression and I was an "awful, hard work, let down of a daughter". I didn't get into any trouble and a rude "tone" or leaving the garden gate open was seriously punished.

All these adult children loved through difficult phases makes me happy.

Starblaze some of the hair raising stories may come out later when they're in their 30s and 40s and they think it's safe to tell you.

Although DD2 did always tell me just after the events and looked surprised when I gasped in horror - 'but we were ok, Mum!' 'But you might not have been'.

Starblaze

Honestly none of mine have gotten into any trouble....

disclaimer

..... that I know about

Lol

Mine are in their forties, and I’m still hearing tales of things they got up to ( especially when we were on holiday!) The polis were involved a couple of times ( as were drink and nakedness!), and all three had shaky times, but thankfully all settled down and happy now.
Listening to tales of the exemplary children, I’m reminded of my mother’s saying, ‘ Every crow in the forest thinks its own’s a white one’.

I had one friend whose children were apparently perfect in every way. I knew different! My son was in the same class as one at a prestigious grammar school and came home with endless tales of the 'perfect' son's misdemeanours. He was suspended from school on more than one occasion. His mother even denied that ever happened. Both her children turned out to be obnoxious adults, disliked by all their peers. Did she just have rose tinted spectacles or did her denial make them the adults they are today.

Starblaze, I also had a grim upbringing, I think if I was to have done anything serious I would have been murdered.

My Irish father actually said I should go to the laundry.
Those bloody nuns.......b@@@@@s all of them.

Lol I will wait for the stories ?

Husband walked out on me in 1977 leaving me with two girls aged 3 and 5. Uphill struggle after that, and in to their teens, youngest gave me the runaround which involved some pretty scary ( and much older) boyfriends. Next door neighbour (with 3 children younger than mine) criticised and complained constantly. Scary boyfriend phase lasted about 18 months. Next door neighbour's children grew up to be a thief, a prostitute and a drug dealer but when fondly reminiscing neighbour continues to point out how bad my girl was, and insists her children were all influenced by her which is why they turned out like they did!

Oh yes, my girls were imperfect (although they are lovely now, happily married with families of their own) but not anti-social.

I’ve also remembered my husband driving through the university city where my daughter was studying.
He had a colleague in the car who saw a poster advertising a nightclub , he noticed our daughter dressed in PVC on the poster, my poor husband drove around the block numerous times in the hope it was a look alike, it wasn’t.

Of course our kids are flawed just as we are ?? who loves perfection anyway

The parents and grandparents of the perfect offspring are the ones who bore us to tears with their dreadful, boastful round robin letters at Christmas - and make us laugh as we read the truth between the lines.

My children weren’t any more perfect than I suppose my mum would say I was, but I don’t share their misdemeanours outside the family, only their successes if someone asks how they’re doing, so I probably give the impression that they are perfect.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

My two sons are now middle-aged and throughout the years, I have come to hear of the misdemeanours they committed in their teens and of which I then remained ignorant - apart from the time I had a call from the police to say they had DS1 in the station. I'll gloss over the actual offence. He was so shocked and so sorry to have upset me that he seldom put a foot wrong thereafter. DS2 occasionally lets me know about his minor breaches of the law, but was ostensibly the more 'respectable' of the two - first class degree, good job, lovely partner and beautiful home. His birds are coming home to roost with his own sons! Nuff said!

Big hugs

Well mine never gave me a moment’s worry. Simply because they were masters of subterfuge and I’d no idea what they were up to.

I believe my kids spent most of their teens and early twenties covering up for one another and bailing each other out. I know they passed around the older lads’ driving licences to get into pubs, and I know of one occasion when youngest son went to ‘stay with his older brother for a few days’ but actually spent two days in hospital because of a spiked drink. They helped one another with money and crashed on one another’s sofas, and no-one ever let me in on any of the others’ misdemeanours. I could conclude I was a terrible parent, but I prefer to take the credit for the incredible loving bond between them.

They are now all thoroughly respectable members of society - the one who was the most accomplished hell-raiser is now a solicitor.

I think we all have come across at least one mum that will not admit that their child does anything wrong - that "someone else made them do it" and "they only did it because they didn't want to be left out" etc.
Quite honestly, I give people like this a very wide berth. Can't be bothered with them!