R.I.P. GreatNan

A travel agent saw an elderly couple looking wistfully at the poster of a world cruise in his window.
His profits were well up that year and he was feeling altruistic, so he rushed out and said, 'It's your lucky day, you've just won that world cruise. You'll have the honeymoon suite, the best foods en route - a limo for touring in port, unlimited spending money - everything your hearts desire.'
Six months later the old lady came back into the shop looking very chipper.
'Did you enjoy your cruise?' the agent asked.
I certainly did,' the lady replied, 'but who was that old bloke you made me go with?'

A fitting tribute rufus to a lovely woman.
She was a great communicator and made me feel welcome when I joined GN. The quality of her debate was always strong and was her joie de vivre. Miss her contributions.

Cherrytree59
Granjura is still here. But not posting under that name.

RIP Greatnan, you are still missed.
?
Even on Mumsnet people lit virtual candles. I remember glassortwo posting there to ask people in the area to look out for Greatnan’s car.

R.I.P. GreatNan **---2013
A young man sees an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at the local fast food restaurant. He notices that they have ordered only one meal, and an extra drink cup.
As he watches, the gentleman carefully divides the hamburger in half, counts out the fries, one for him, one for her, until each has half of them. Then he pours half of the soft drink into the extra cup and sets it down in front of his wife.
The old man then starts to eat, while his wife sits watching, with her hands folded in her lap. The young man, feeling moved, decides to ask if they would allow him to purchase another meal for them so they don’t have to split theirs.
The old gentleman says, “Oh no. We’ve been married 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared, 50/50.”
The young man then asks the wife if she was going to eat her half, to which she replies, “Oh, yes… but it’s his turn with the teeth.”

We're loving these. Thanks, Rufus

I just read these out loud to dh and we both laughed harder than we have in ages. Thanks Rufus, we needed that!

Always By My Side
A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day.
When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side... You know what?"
What dear?" She asked gently.
"I think you bring me bad luck.

Jonah and the Whale

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though they were a very large mammal their throat was very small.
The little girl stated Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
The teacher reiterated: a whale could not
swallow a human; it was impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."

Rufus2 A wonderful tribute to our GreatNan such a wonderful person.
I was lucky enough to have known her fleetingly when she taught at a local school here on The Wirral she was an inspiration my DD went to the same riding school as one of her daughters for a couple of years.
When we where going through that awful time when she went missing I put up posters in John Lennon Airport for people travelling out for skiing holidays to keep a look out for her little car there where also requests on local radio for people to keep watch for her.
I wonder what this very wise woman would think of the state of the Country at the minute she would have her own very strong opinions I'm sure.

Good Evening!
So little time, so much to do
This R.I.P. week is almost over, so quickly and there is still much of GreatNan's legacy to cherry-pick, so I've picked up the pace a bit today with a bonus!
OoRoo

I wonder what this very wise woman would think of the state of the Country
Glammanana Not much I'm afraid, unfortunately, but France much the same!
Good Health.

I couldn't resist this one!

"After a busy day, an elderly friend of mine settled down in his train from Waterloo for a nap as far as his destination at Winchester, when the chap sitting near him hauled out his mobile and started up:-
Hi darling it's Peter, I'm on the train
- yes, I know it's the 6.30 not the 4.30 but I had a long meeting
- no, not with my secreatary, with the boss- no darling you're the only one in my life
- yes, I'm sure, cross my heart" etc., etc.
This was still going on at Wimbledon, when the young woman opposite, driven beyond endurance, yelled at the top of her voice,
"Hey, Peter, turn that bloody phone off and come back to bed!

Relationship With God
70 year old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with great results.
Dr. Smith said, "George everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally, emotionally and are you at peace with your self and have a good relationship with God?"
George replied, "God and me are tight. We are so close that when I get up in the middle of the night, poof!...the light goes on & I go to the bathroom and then poof! the light goes off!"
"Wow," commented Dr. Smith, 'That's incredible!"
A little later in the day Dr. Smith called George's wife. 'Thelma," he said, "George is just fine. Physically he's great. But I had to call because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and poof! The light goes on in the bathroom and then poof! the light goes off?'"
Thelma replies; Darn fool; he's been peeing in the fridge again.

An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time.
Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married.
Before the wedding they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work.
They discussed finances, living arrangements, and so on.
Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship.
"How do you feel about sex?" he asked, rather tentatively
"I would like it infrequently" she replied.
The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment ...
adjusted his glasses, and leaned over towards her and whispered
'Excuse me, but is that one word or two?'

People who don't understand the difference between etymology and entomology bug me in ways I can't put into words

Not by Greatnan, but in the same category as Rufus's previous one - there are 10 kinds of people, those who understand binary and those who don't.

An Irish dad calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and says, “I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing.”
“Dad, what are you talking about?” the son screams.
We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” the father says. “We’re sick of each other and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her.”

The son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. “Like heck they’re getting divorced!”she shouts, “I’ll take care of this!”

She calls Ireland immediately, and screams at her father, “You are NOT getting divorced. Don’t do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother back, and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. “Sorted! They’re coming for Christmas – and they’re paying their own way"

I well remember reading Greatnan's posts about walking alone in the mountains and then being shocked at her death. I can hardly believe that was seven years ago. Time does seem to be speeding up.

There are10 kinds of people, those who understand binary and those who don't
Elegran Sorry, that's too deep for me!
Remember some time ago you said you .avoided messages with an Aussie flavour because you'd convinced yourself. they'd lack culture.!?
So please don't belittle us with such intellectual sayings
We only understand simple statistics, such as;
"One in three Americans weighs more than the other two combined!" Gettit!?
OoRoo
.

So sorry, Rufus I thought someone who could distinguish long words like etymology and entomology from each other and had lived for many decades would have caught up on the difference of 10 in decimal notation and 10 in binary. Still have all ten fingers? If you hadn't, you'd have to binary-count on two fists.

Elegran

Not by Greatnan, but in the same category as Rufus's previous one - there are 10 kinds of people, those who understand binary and those who don't.

Good one Elegran, Greatnan would have enjoyed it! ??

you'd have to binary-count on two fists
Elegran
I"ve also still got 10 toes and I can still see them, so what do you suggest now?

GreatNan probably wouldn't have given a stuff about binary or whatever; she obviously knew how to copy/paste to good effect. Oh! she also knew a thing or two about jokes!
OoRoo

Did you actually know her Rufus ?
She was a lady of considerable intellect who would without doubt have appreciated a joke of the type posted by ‘ Elegran.
Less sure about some of the ageist/ false teeth-sharing type though.

Yes MawB2

I think of her almost every time I look up at the hills that almost surround the small town where I live. She loved to walk on them when she visited her family in New Zealand. She had planned a visit towards the end of 2013. I had moved here earlier in the year and we were both looking forward to spending some time together.