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The Argy Bargy Bar...the lease has been secured!

(1001 Posts)
lemongrove Sun 01-Nov-20 16:52:25

Well, fellow Argy Bargers, after some hard bargaining with
Moneybags Mike our landlord, I have managed to secure another short term lease.The scoundrel wanted ten pounds a month, but I showed him my maroon bloomers and he reduced it to seven pounds.Result!?

LauraNorder Thu 05-Nov-20 16:22:28

ixion so you’ll be singing the Argy late night theme song ‘Hooray and up she rises’

AGAA4 Thu 05-Nov-20 16:23:26

Laura I just don't want those tattoo artists to see a large behind and use it for graffiti.

lemongrove Thu 05-Nov-20 16:25:11

Tut tut, so much bottom envy going on! Ever since I had mine enhanced.envy
Hmmmm, a sperm whale you say? Now that you mention it that may be very fitting for The Argy.☺️
Am not keen on Sidney AGA ( he’s all yours) have never fancied a man with a beard you could lose a badger in.

LauraNorder Thu 05-Nov-20 16:25:25

You could end up with a banksy on the bum iyswim

lemongrove Thu 05-Nov-20 16:27:40

However I do rather fancy Fiery Fred, the volatile little fireman ( sometimes less is more) and his eye patch gives him a certain something.

lemongrove Thu 05-Nov-20 16:28:20

Yes! Then we could sell AGA to the highest bidder!

lemongrove Thu 05-Nov-20 16:29:43

ixion you will fit in well at The Argy, we like you, rough as ye are.?

AGAA4 Thu 05-Nov-20 16:31:41

Sidney's beard burned off as he was rescuing a damsel when a bonfire went out of control. I think the Admiral was in charge of it.
Laura please don't give them any ideas. I want to be able to sit down tomorrow.

lemongrove Thu 05-Nov-20 16:33:42

So......what will we all be wearing on Bonfire Nite ...we don’t want to clash.
I thought I would go for leather ( well, pvc) I have a scarlet jumpsuit with matching high heels and an orange hat with a candle sewn into it....classy eh?

AGAA4 Thu 05-Nov-20 16:36:39

If the bidder is rich and handsome but you would miss my special poteen and excellent scrubber qualifications.

LauraNorder Thu 05-Nov-20 16:38:28

Multicoloured bloomers and matching silk tank top , sparkly wellies so that I Sparkle and pop with colour as I spin. I just hope GG’s cable ties will hold me.

AGAA4 Thu 05-Nov-20 16:39:00

You will match the bonfire Lemon

LauraNorder Thu 05-Nov-20 16:40:21

Your outfit does sound ‘classy’ Lemon especially by Argy standards

AGAA4 Thu 05-Nov-20 16:42:23

I hope so too Laura. Don't spin off and land on the Captain whatever you do. Not a good experience (I have heard)

ixion Thu 05-Nov-20 16:44:34

I should like to come as/with some sort of firework.
Do you have something available that I could hold in my hand?

lemongrove Thu 05-Nov-20 16:45:35

Yes, that was the idea AGA but don’t worry about the Banksy buyer, we won’t let you go ( for less than 15 shillings).
Right, time for a cocktail, a ‘ Burning Banger’ please Thor, with no ice ( Cointreau, cassis, Jack Daniels, orange juice and a splash of gunpowder.)??????
Just line ‘em up and leave me in peace.

AGAA4 Thu 05-Nov-20 16:52:57

I will have a Burning Banger too while I think about my costume. I may come as a roman candle.

LauraNorder Thu 05-Nov-20 17:39:51

More of a roamin’ candle AGA the way you put yourself about

LauraNorder Thu 05-Nov-20 17:40:30

Burning Banger for me too please

GrannyGravy13 Thu 05-Nov-20 19:02:47

I’ll have a roaring rocket please (I like something that goes up with a bang!!)

Doodle Thu 05-Nov-20 19:14:36

ixion those llamas are our pets, they most certainly won’t be muzzled. As for performing, they so nothing but bite bums, eat everything, drink poteen and emit noxious gasses.
ixion that is never a line you should repeat in the Argy. You will be spoilt for choice.
Grannygravy we all know what you like by now. Make it a double and I’ll have one too.
I am wearing my new shimmering dress and have sewn sparklers to it. I intend to light them as a finale and when they’ve burnt out ..all my clothes drop off. ?

AGAA4 Thu 05-Nov-20 19:47:15

Nothing new there Doodle. Your clothes always drop off at the end of the night.

LauraNorder Thu 05-Nov-20 19:57:22

You’ll have to watch the tattooists when your bloomers drop off Doodle you might end up with a fireman’s face on each buttock.

ixion Thu 05-Nov-20 20:08:14

doodle - apologies for not appreciating the close bond you all have with these menaces pets. Would they like a sack of carrots when I come? (or just an olive branch or two?)

Spangler Thu 05-Nov-20 20:52:01

lemongrove Thu 05-Nov-20 11:38:05
The tattoo shop staff say they’ll be doing free tatts on the night for us staff! I’m having a tattoo of a whale ( on my arse.)
LauraNorder Thu 05-Nov-20 11:45:33
Just the one cheek then Lemon

lemongrove Thu 05-Nov-20 11:50:37
Haha, nope it’s going to be huge ( like the arse!) so needs the full width ( all 72 inches)

What an ingenious, inspired idea. A whale tattoo right across the cheeks of your arse. I can't think of a better way to disguise all that blubber.

Doodle Thu 05-Nov-20 13:51:39
laura Is it going to be a sperm whale lemon
Of course it is, goodness me, have you not heard of Moby Dick?

LauraNorder Thu 05-Nov-20 16:20:25
GG13 careful with those hunky firemen the ones with the biggest hoses are not necessarily the ones with staying power.

What it is about firemen? Can't understand what all the fuss is about!

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