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To Tell Or Not To Tell

(71 Posts)
Pennylane4711 Sat 28-Nov-20 16:10:53

I work in the beauty industry. I should be retired but will not be able too for 4 years. Recently I have lost my confidence a little and have decided it’s time to have a little surgery abroad (face lift) I’ve done my research and am totally happy with my choice but I have a question that I would love to hear your thoughts, around who to tell and how much to tell. I have always been a very private person, I don’t want to lie to anyone but also I don’t want to discuss the ins and outs either. I’ve told my children and partner but I don’t know what to expect from friends and work colleagues. I will be out of action for two weeks which may go unnoticed depending on the lockdown situation. Your thoughts would be appreciated. Please no negativity about my decision.

aggie Sat 28-Nov-20 16:15:06

Think it might be better to defer your surgery till this Pandemic is over 🤨

Callistemon Sat 28-Nov-20 16:16:27

I wouldn't tell anyone.
Just accept the compliments, there's no need to explain.
But you won't be able to go for months, so I hope you can regain your lost confidence in the meantime.

Doodledog Sat 28-Nov-20 16:24:18

I don't see any reason why you should tell people about your surgery when you have it - it's nobody's business but yours.

There may be some who will ask about it if they notice, so have something rehearsed to tell them if you decide not to 'come clean'. Personally, I don't think that people should ask personal questions (I find it very rude), but that doesn't stop them, so I would expect it to happen. Maybe just smile and thank them for the compliment?

Bluebellwould Sat 28-Nov-20 16:25:18

Really, in the current situation you want to risk your health going abroad for non essential surgery. Can you not wait a while for surgery perhaps until the pandemic recedes a little during the summer. What country are you in or is this a wind up post? My apologies if you are genuine.

silverlining48 Sat 28-Nov-20 16:45:57

No reason to tell anyone. A friend had a lower face lift, didn’t tell anyone. She did look good when I saw her but it wasn’t obvious why, which is the subtle look I would go for if I did this. She still looks good.

grannysyb Sat 28-Nov-20 17:10:09

Which country are you going to? A woman recently died after she had cosmetic surgery in Turkey. If it goes wrong would you have any redress?

Whingingmom Sat 28-Nov-20 17:19:22

It’s your decision, and up to you whether you tell anyone. In your line of business people might ask so it might be worth preparing a reply “ thank you - I have had a few aesthetic treatments” or similar.
I would agree with other posters - take care travelling abroad. Good luck, I hope you are delighted with the result!

avitorl Sat 28-Nov-20 17:24:35

Don't tell anyone. I would be worried about surgery abroad though especially as things are with Covid.

cornishpatsy Sat 28-Nov-20 17:27:23

I would not tell anyone but would not lie either. If asked outright about work done I would just vaguely say I have had a little something.

I would love to have work done but am nervous about travelling abroad on my own.

I do envy you, good luck with it all.

Hithere Sat 28-Nov-20 17:27:31

I wouldnt go out of my way to disclose it but if asked, I would admit it

I would also wait after the pandemic to be safer too

sodapop Sat 28-Nov-20 17:30:28

No one else's business really Pennylane but if asked you could answer as Whingingmom suggests. I must admit I find it annoying when people deny having had work done when clearly they have. It's up to you how you spend your money.
As everyone else said be careful where you go and make sure you have researched well. Good luck.

Delila Sat 28-Nov-20 17:30:32

I’m sure you’ve done your research and weighed up the relevant factors regarding the timing of your surgery, and you sound confident in your decision to go ahead. I imagine your disappearance from the work scene will be less noticeable in the present restricted circumstances.

You’ve discussed it with your family - they’re the ones who matter. You don’t need to tell anyone else.

But if people notice, and ask you, you could choose to be open about it, after all, it can’t be that unusual in the beauty business. Speculation and gossip spread like wildfire in those circles. You might prefer to be upfront about it. People will be genuinely interested and probably very understanding.

On the other hand, people may not notice anything drastic and might just think you look really well.

Don’t take any risks with your health and safety though, either with regards to Covid, or the procedure itself.

Charleygirl5 Sat 28-Nov-20 17:32:19

I have not had any cosmetic surgery but I do know that you will return with a swollen, black and blue face so others may work it out.

As others have said, it is nobody else's business but please think about what grannysyb said, there may be no redress and the NHS here will be reluctant to sort out any problems and why should they?

Pennylane4711 Sun 29-Nov-20 08:15:34

Thank you everyone for your very helpful comments. It will be after the pandemic so hopefully not to far off now.

lemongrove Sun 29-Nov-20 08:47:31

It’s nobody’s business but your own Penny no need to tell anyone other than close family.

NotSpaghetti Sun 29-Nov-20 09:06:48

I think I would tell people in such a way that it's over and done with. I wouldn't do it now, but near the time. I wouldn't dwell on it too much but think it's easier to say "I'm going to take a 2 week holiday in April as I've decided to have some cosmetic surgery." than to have someone think I'm trying to hide something. Be straightforward ahead of time and get on the front foot.

You don't have to discuss details - say "I've done lots if research and have made up my mind and don't want to talk about it now. I feel it's just what I need.".

Good luck!

Marydoll Sun 29-Nov-20 09:19:49

It's nobody's business, but yours. However, I would be waiting a bit longer than April to have it done. Why put yourself at risk, when its not urgent medical treatment you require?

BlueSky Sun 29-Nov-20 09:23:56

I know people who have had stomach bands put in to lose weight but just said they followed some diet. Others who had face lifts, changed hair colour and style and put the improvement down to that. Obviously then it’s up to people to believe it or not, you just say what you want them to know.

Kandinsky Sun 29-Nov-20 09:29:24

I wouldn’t tell anyone no, chances are people won’t really notice anyway - but that’s how good surgery should be! It shouldn’t look like a massive drastic change. It should blend in nicely with what you’ve already got 😊
But you’ll know, & will feel more confident & happy with your appearance - all the best, I bet you’ll look amazing. 😄

Dibbydod Sun 29-Nov-20 09:30:11

I wouldn’t tell anyone, why should you ,it’s none of their business , just enjoy the compliments .

cc Sun 29-Nov-20 10:34:26

Why tell anybody? Presumably you will be away from work for a while and if anybody notices anything you can just say that you've been catching up with your sleep.
As far as I can gather a good facelift makes you look fresher and more rested, rather than actually different,so this response should be believable.

Hellsbelles Sun 29-Nov-20 10:44:46

I've lost 2/3 stone during all this ( don't know exactly as didn't weigh myself at heavier weight ! )
I'm hoping that once we are all back to meeting up with friends / groups people will notice.
If I were you I'd just wait for the compliments .

Jillybird Sun 29-Nov-20 10:46:27

Agree with others - it's none of people's business what you do - your money, your face, your business.

P.S. If it works out well, please post a secret code on here to tell us where to go - I'd love to do the same but too scared! 😄

grandtanteJE65 Sun 29-Nov-20 10:50:33

Don't tell anyone, except whoever sees you while the bruising is still visible.

Make sure that person is one you trust not to blab.

It is nobody's business but yours.