What to say

Kircubbin, I've sent a PM.

'Let you down'? She murdered your cat? Or one of those things when you'd invested a lot in a social occasion and she just didn't realise how IMPORTANT it was?

If no-one actually died, get over it.

You put the phone down!!!????

I am sure that there were lots of other things you could have said than "I heard you were dying?"

Maybe you could have said who you were and asked to talk to his wife.

When my OH was teetering towards the end of his life it was so good when friends did not pussyfoot around.

As I’ve got older I’ve learned to forgive and not hold grudges. Phone and make amends. We can all let people down and we are all capable of selfish behaviour, but she was good enough to be a friend once so she can’t be so bad.

I have been estranged from my sister for years. When I was extremely ill, three years ago, my family asked if I wanted them to contact her. I said no - even if she responded, I didn't want her to visit me out of pity.

Your friend might feel the same. Getting in touch with someone just because they or a member of their family is dying doesn't really make them feel better.

I agree with Bluecat!

Exactly what Bluecat said!

I think it depends on how you feel she let you down.

Have you got past it? I think, if you would like to resume the friendship or at least express some sympathy, you could send a note to your ex-friend. What's the worst that can happen? She could ignore it.

She may respond positively and you could resume the friendship. As I said, it depends on why you fell out perhaps.

In all this time of not contacting her, has she tried to contact you? If not, since maintaining contact with friends is a joint responsibility, she obviously hasn't missed your friendship so maybe you should just accept that.