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Birthdays

(109 Posts)
Razzy Sun 03-Jan-21 13:11:31

My DH and I both have birthdays in Jan. I’ve never been bothered by presents, just happy to have enough already. My DH is the opposite and a bit like a 5 year old at birthdays. He has never done anything for my birthday, quite the opposite. He gave me a book for Xmas that I didn’t want, and don’t have time to read. I thanked him of course, even though I asked for no present or a charity donation. I get that he wants to give a present. But he almost always buys what he wants. The book he got me is one he wants to read. He knows I’ve still got books from last year I’ve not read. He got our daughter something he wanted for Xmas. I’ve asked him yet again what he wants for his birthday, and he says he’ll let me know. This means he’ll tell me the day before and complain when I can’t get it in time. He then asked what I want and I told him again. He then threw all his toys out of the pram. I think it is partly because he wants to tell everyone else what he bought me - that’s fine, buy me whatever! A charity donation in my name would be lovely but he refuses.
Anyone else resolve an issue like this?

GrannyRose15 Mon 04-Jan-21 22:34:05

I've always found it best to remind my DH and DAC when my birthday is coming up and to tell them exactly what I want. I also organise a party to celebrate. If I didn't do it that way (and I've learnt from experience) I'd be lucky if anyone remembered the date.

Harmonypuss Mon 04-Jan-21 22:36:09

If he bought you a book that he wants, re-gift it back to him!

Razzy Tue 05-Jan-21 00:49:49

Love all your messages and many do resonate! I have previously suggested a gift when he is insistent but he never buys anything I suggest. I do think he may have undiagnosed aspergers. As for getting through my books, I was planning on a quiet year before Covid hit, then it went crazy at work and I also have lots of work reading to do! Maybe this year I’ll get more reading in!

Rubred1515 Tue 05-Jan-21 08:33:06

You could make a donation to a charity donation of your choice and say I bought you a gift I wanted like you bought me a gift what you wanted for Christmas . Do you understand my meaning ?

joysutty Tue 05-Jan-21 20:20:21

So Give him the money/cash or a cheque written out to him - 20 pound note or more or whatever and say buy it and order for yourself. End of !!

joysutty Tue 05-Jan-21 20:22:47

For yourself ask him to write you out a cheque in your name and then put into your bank account to choose a present for yourself.

Shropshirelass Wed 06-Jan-21 10:01:26

We don’t buy presents, don’t give cards either! It goes back a few years ago when after a very difficult patch I decided not to acknowledge our birthdays or even Christmas by giving gifts. Sad I know but the joy of doing these things had been taken away from me.

Angeart23 Thu 07-Jan-21 21:23:12

I always book my birthday off work and do something special - Afternoon Tea, theatre etc. I will be 60 on 23 Dec and I've been saving for 2 years for a big celebration or trip abroad. I love birthdays, Christmas and presents!