Uncomfortable moments in other people's houses

Love the board saga! Laughed so much I cried..

Hahahahaha, Urmston.

i knew a couple when i was young. looking back on it they were a little strange. she got married wearing black, and he refused to walk his sister down the aisle to her wedding, their father having died, on the grounds it was patriarchal. his sister not having their intellectual interests just felt rejected and didn't invite them to her wedding.
they also described themselves as being financially embarrassed, by which they meant, having an enormous income.
they once invited me to a meal where they served something that resembled horse fodder. the last time i saw them, she had invited me for sunday lunch in their new extensive flat in v expensive area. i arrived and they were lounging about. she idly started eating an apple and after a while asked me if i wanted one.
i was about to say i won't spoil my appetite but didn't. then they suggested a walk on the common, during which the man asked if they could drop me off anywhere.
i did wonder if it was some kind of psychological experiment to see how i reacted.

What a brilliant thread - haven’t laughed so much in ages !??

Urmstongran you've tickled me pink with the board story! So funny!

This thread is hilarious. Thank you all for telling your stories.

Thought of another one.

In the early 60’s my aunt & her husband went to a very posh dinner doo. One of those ‘please be upstanding for’ and ‘a toast ... to ..’

Up & down like a yo-yo.

Of its time, she was wearing a maxi dress and a long set of beads which dangled to her waist.

After the last toast as she sat down, unbeknownst to her, her ‘pearls’ got snagged around the dish of prawn cocktail which had been placed in front of everyone earlier. It dragged the dish into her lap as she sat down and landed with a thump.

She looked around, no-one had noticed.

She looked down into her lap and there was the prawn cocktail dish sitting right side up! What were the odds?

She discreetly cupped her hands around it and picked up her fork ...

When I was a student I lodged with a family who regularly had house parties. I arrived back one evening and a party was in full swing. I crept upstairs to my room, switched on the light and got the biggest shock. A young man was asleep, snoring loudly on my bed. I was very shy and was too scared to go down and tell my landlady. I sat on the landing until the party finished and the family came upstairs. Apparently he had got very drunk and was told to sleep in the daughter’s room, who was away at university. Fortunately I was able to sleep in her bed.

Good thread MissA have enjoyed all these stories.?

Yes great thread MissA thank you!
?
Such a good giggle tonight. GN at its best.

It's not my doing, it's you lot with whistling noses and -boards-

In the 1970’s we had some friends who we often met out for a drink.One evening, they told us laughingly, that they had been invited to a couple’s house for drinks and a meal, and as the evening progressed ( and getting hungry) they realised that all that was on offer was drinks, nuts and crisps.They had mistakenly thought there would be a meal of course.We all laughed about it and said how important it was to be sure of something before you went.
A few weeks later, they rang us and we had a chat and they invited us for drinks at theirs, instead of meeting in the pub.
Found a babysitter and off we went on the appointed night,
Chatted, enjoyed the drinks and nibbles they provided and then......were told the meal was ready, time to sit at the table!
We had eaten our meal at home earlier and were now full of crisps and nuts etc.
It was like the scene from The Vicar Of Dibley ( Christmas dinners) but we had to force down a starter, main meal and pudding.
Never felt so bloated in my life. It was really a lesson learned, and since then I always find out what’s on offer when accepting an invitation to anywhere.Otherwise you go hungry or have to eat twice.

I'm enjoying these too, thanks

Also in the 1970’s ( what a decade)? we had a party at our house, we did this now and again ( oh to have a party now!) and this one time, I was constantly boing to answer the doorbell as more people arrived.I opened the door and greeted them and feeling that DH was hovering at my shoulder, introduced him to them as my husband.Only it wasn’t! It was a colleague of DH’s and he looked most surprised.So then I had to say ‘oh sorry, it isn’t my husband, it’s .......?’ I couldn't remember his name for the life of me.
They must have thought drink had been taken ( mind you, it had.)??

Going not boing ( I blame ?again)

Ooh just remembered another one.

Our house.
NYE party. Lots of people.
One elderly lady sipping sherry and her son in law kept topping her glass up. Someone said the next day he’d winked and thought it amusing.

Later during the evening, the lady in question stood up, picked up her full-ish ashtray and tipped it into the tiny bin (covered in green velvet (!) - I’m going back to 1980 here) which was over by the Christmas tree, losing her balance and toppling into said tree in the process. Tinsel, pine needles and baubles running along the carpet ...

We all felt so mortified for her distress but it was like slapstick and we were helpless.

She got the last laugh, unintentionally. She was staying over at said son in law’s house up the road. When they walked her home and opened the front door, as they walked into the house she was sick all over his hall carpet ....

Petunia bedroom story is hilarious!

Again, in the 70's, my friend and I used to go to a nightclub every weekend, where I'd had my eye on a gorgeous man for weeks. We eventually began a weekend romance, conducted solely on these nights in the nightclub. These were the days when one could find a dark corner and snog each other's face off.
One particular night I'd had way too much to drink and on leaving couldn't get a taxi so ended up at my boyfriend's house, ostensibly to phone from there ( his parents were on holiday ).Well one thing led to another and then it was morning.My man, looking even more handsome when tousled, walked over to my side of the bed to open the curtains and there , clinging by static were my hastily cast off nylon knickers: inside out and crotch side up.

Another friend of mine, when she had been drinking, would always head off to her ex boyfriends house (and of course, he let her in)

The last time she did it, bearing in mind he lived with his mum, my friend woke up with an upset stomach.

Got up to rush to the toilet and didn't make it in time.
All over his mum's silver hall carpet!

My DH and I both had unfortunate incidents when we went to each other’s houses for the first time many years ago!

I was quite a shy 17 year old when I first went to his for tea. Before we sat down at the table I thought it’d be a good idea to go to the loo first. Off I went to the downstairs bathroom, had a wee, tore off and used some toilet paper but unthinkingly hung on to that whilst simultaneously throwing the whole (new but not on a holder) roll down the toilet! What was I thinking??!! Absolutely mortified, I dithered about wondering what to do but eventually ventured out very red faced and clutching the now soggy roll!

The first time DH came to ours to pick me up, I persuaded him to come in to meet everyone as there were various elderly aunts, uncles, grandparents etc visiting. He was so nervous but bravely stepped forward with hand outstretched to my dad, sadly not noticing the full cup of tea an aunt had put on the floor. His shoe caught the edge of the saucer and the cup flipped and flew through the air, almost in slow motion, showering all and sundry with tea!! He’s never lived it down!

Continuing the theme of the demon drink : I hadn't had a drink for the full nine months of being pregnant, and about a month later was invited to a pub with my husband to celebrate his friend and wife getting their first home and installing a ruinously expensive kitchen, which she waxed lyrical about and was keen to show off to our group of friends.
The alcohol went straight to my head as we walked the short distance from pub to their home, I was already feeling bilious. Their house was a terrace , rooms built along the lines of a train; when I entered I could see straight through the living room, dining room and into the kitchen- where I set my sights on the gleaming inset sink and set off with the speed of Red Rum, only to fall at the last fence as it were, and to throw up copiously on the breakfast bar arrayed with a fabulous array of food, now somewhat enhanced with purple ( Pernod ), vomit.

My MiL liked to turn up at peoples houses unexpectedly and persuaded us to visit an ex- teacher of my DH. We knocked at the door and the teacher was out but his wife graciously asked us in and served us tea. When she left the room MiL having looked at the photos around informed us it was the wrong teacher and she had no idea who this man was.
We beat a hasty retreat!

Staying with brother and law and his wife who I find a little distant, it’s never a relaxed visit. Sometimes suffer with dry eyes so has taken a gel to use and accidentally left it in the family bathroom. It was only when I went to use it a couple of days later that I realised it was in fact a vaginal moisturiser!

That's a great one.
Like something from "One foot in the grave".