Gransnet forums


Lockdown. In the words of Thumper, if you can’t say anything nice, say nothing at all’

(49 Posts)
Marmight Sat 23-Jan-21 12:24:42

During this on going lockdown many of us are coping and many of us are not & many turn to GN for support for all kinds of reasons, which there is in abundance. However, there are also a number of posters who appear to jump down people’s throats, are always right, always know better, are far wiser, have been there and done that and don’t seem to consider the possible vulnerability of those they are addressing. There are ways & means of conveying our opinions. I think many of us have a list of those we avoid on GN and, more than likely, IRL they are probably very pleasant people. I know quite a few GNers who have stopped posting or even left because of the attitude of others. I’m all for a bit of cut & thrust and exchange of views and obviously we all have vastly different opinions on just about everything, but in these trying times let us all think & consider before putting the proverbial pen to paper 😘

Marmight Sat 23-Jan-21 12:26:39

I meant to add a 🕊

Lucca Sat 23-Jan-21 12:30:47

Sorry but we’ve had so many of these threads.

Poppyred Sat 23-Jan-21 12:31:44

Your right Marmight. But some people never learn do they! A lot of the ones your talking about don’t even recognise themselves unfortunately.

Marmight Sat 23-Jan-21 12:33:05

Well Lucca. Here’s another one!! No need to read or comment

BigBertha1 Sat 23-Jan-21 12:33:18

We do seem to discuss this every now and then so not sure what to say really except that I just pop in and out every now and then for a bit of light relief, some good information sometimes and maybe throw my fourpennoth (how do you spell that) in but I dont take it seriously anymore.

Galaxy Sat 23-Jan-21 12:37:18

The thing us we all have a different view of kindness, I am afraid I dont think this is the kindest thread.

Galaxy Sat 23-Jan-21 12:37:36

Is not us hmm

janeainsworth Sat 23-Jan-21 12:37:47

Marmight Having been variously accused over the last few days of pontificating (what me??), bullying and ganging up, perhaps I shouldn’t be replying to your post grin
I will just say this.
While we can control what we write, we can’t control how others choose to interpret what we’ve written.
While some are quick to stick in the metaphorical knife, others react by seeing offence where none was intended and a cloud of umbrage is generated.
Compared to Twitter & Facebook I think the comments on Gransnet are mainly quite innocuous.

Sara1954 Sat 23-Jan-21 12:38:51

I left for about a year because I was just sick of some of the nastiness, and some people, who don’t seem to be posting now, were always right, an expert on every subject, it just got boring.
I agree with Bertha really, don’t take it too seriously.

Lucca Sat 23-Jan-21 12:40:50


Well Lucca. Here’s another one!! No need to read or comment

I rest my case

dragonfly46 Sat 23-Jan-21 12:42:02

I just tend to avoid certain posters and do not rise to their rhetoric. Occasionally though I am shocked at how quick people are to criticise a poster.

But as someone said above this is not the kindest of posts and it will not change anything.

Galaxy Sat 23-Jan-21 12:42:11

Crikey yes Twitter is like a bloodbath.

merlotgran Sat 23-Jan-21 12:46:28


Sorry but we’ve had so many of these threads.


Kim19 Sat 23-Jan-21 12:48:11

Thank you, Marmight. You echo my thoughts but perhaps far more articulately. However, I simply move on when the going gets rough and head to another topic of interest. I've no doubt the anonymity gives people the feeling of power. Maybe they're frustrated in real life? What would I know?! Happily there are many gentle sites on here too. I never feel the need to withdraw my interest completely. Not at all.

Toadinthehole Sat 23-Jan-21 12:49:37

I do agree with you Marmight, but you won’t change it. People are just people, in different circumstances, different lives. Many people think it’s easier to be, shall we say, less caring, on an anonymous site. I actually find it harder. Much better face to face, where you can quickly assess a reaction, and deal with it there and then. On here, it could be pages later. I find avoiding certain threads is the best way to go, certainly political and current affairs, where it’s alright to have an opinion, as long as it’s the same as the mainstream. Pick and choose, and you should be ok.

Urmstongran Sat 23-Jan-21 12:54:50

I agree.
Nothing will change though.

Sometimes, As I read a new thread, I watch it degenerate and think ‘uh, uh .. this is gonna get pulled in 3, 2, 1 ....’


biba70 Sat 23-Jan-21 12:55:36

Some threads start really well- a genuine interesting discussion, different opinions and all agree to disagree. Then after 3 pages, on short sarcastic or unpleasant post, clearly 'aimed' at one poster- take an unpleasant turn, for no reason whatsoever, but to have a 'go'. Sad, but true.

Santana Sat 23-Jan-21 12:56:00

I'm fairly new to GN so I don't know if we have had similar threads before.
All forums can have some strong opinions, so best to scroll on by if you find it upsetting.

Lucca Sat 23-Jan-21 13:02:12

I’ve been irritated by posts, gobsmacked by some, bored by others but only been upset by one. Som8n the grand scheme of things that’s fine. One thing I don’t like though is when a poster refers coyly to “ certain posters” If we don’t like what they say we have a choice to either ignore or name the person or if it’s that bad report it.

Lucca Sat 23-Jan-21 13:02:42

Som8n ?? So in

nadateturbe Sat 23-Jan-21 13:05:10

I agree. I'm quite shocked by some posts and I think we should always treat posters as we would treat people in real life. And not just at the present time.
I too avoid certain threads and have felt bullied in the past, hence my name change.
But I have to say Marmight, your reply to Lucca was a little abrupt and unexpected.

Marmight Sat 23-Jan-21 13:05:33

You case is well and truly rested Lucca. 🙄

lemsip Sat 23-Jan-21 13:09:58

I don't think comments should be personalised to another 'name' Just comment. . Gransnet is an open forum for all posters to have a 'voice'. Never a need to be aggressive to another. still put what you think though.
Think twice before 'biting back'.
never miss a good chance to Shut Up. as Dr Phil says.

Marmight Sat 23-Jan-21 13:10:21

Really Nadate? I thought it appropriate under the circumstances I’ll not post another word on the subject other than to follow Thumper’s fine example.