Lockdown. In the words of Thumper, if you can’t say anything nice, say nothing at all’

I think some threads degenerate into unpleasantness when posters allow their personal enmity between them, and another poster, to get the better of them by conducting a series of personal jibes. It makes for uncomfortable reading for everyone else, especially when you can see that it goes from thread to thread.

I wonder if there are people that live alone but are angry and want an argument so try to start one on here.

I have suspected that there was a poster who used to start a thread knowing it was going to cause unpleasantness even commenting on it with her other identity. Maybe too much wine.

Could have been just my suspicious mind but I did look back at previous posts by both of them, yes I was that bored, and their style and phrases were too similar to be a coincidence.

I do not understand why people concentrate on the one negative comment and ignore all the positive ones in a thread, ignoring what the thread is about and just replying to the negative comment.

Sometimes though I just want to say 'for goodness sake get a grip' and have to move quickly to another thread before I actually type in the words.

???

I think Marmight meant well.
I have never found her to be unkind or provocative so if anyone was provoked I'm sure it was unintentional.

Sadly, such threads often do end in acrimony. Ironically!

I have had only one person be seriously unpleasant to me in here, and it was a bit surprising as it’s someone you wouldn’t expect it from. I didn’t respond or retaliate, just made a mental note. I’ve no idea why they did it but I won’t give them a chance to do it again! This is generally a pretty good place, I have administered a forum for people with brain injuries and believe me when you throw cognitive deficits into the mix it’s like being the safety officer in a firework factory where all the employees are heavy smokers.

I don't think I need a thread to express what I feel about any feisty (unkind) comments because I try to tackle them at the time. Then move on. I sense there is one poster who if I said it were cold today would say it is hot, but nevermind!
Funny you say that cornishpasty, I wonder if you're thinking about the after dark poster, since disappeared, who was unpleasant to some lovely people on here.

Oh lord.
We all have opinions be it right or wrong from other peoples point of view.
But it`s your opinion that matters.

timetogo2016

Oh lord.
We all have opinions be it right or wrong from other peoples point of view.
But it`s your opinion that matters.

Absolutely - if you don't like it, scroll past! That's the easiest way to avoid getting "offended" by something.

Marmight your reply to Lucca "here's another one. No need to comment"
You were saying people should be nice to each other. I can't see how it was appropriate then to answer Lucca in this way. And I do think you were making a good point on your thread. ?

youtu.be/ohDB5gbtaEQ

I was wondering whether it would be possible to have some threads...particularly those which have the potential to be contentious, where we simply don’t use our user names. It’s easy enough to quote what someone has said, and then respond to it. Sometimes, I think a username can invoke hostility. Also, you still get ‘ to know ‘ people by their username, and then this can open up the doors for nastiness to happen. We could still build up relationships with people on the general threads. We would have the choice. Just a thought.

Funny sketch but I see nothing pleasant in arguing.

I haven't seen these posts but I think making a list is a great idea, perhaps with a note e.g. likes animals, lives abroad, had invalid hubby. I still have no image of these posters and dont know na es. Perhaps its just me as the rest of you who post more often all seem to know each other. I wonder who will be on my nasty list.?

Names.

Good heaven's MissA I remember that Monty Python sketch from its original showing! Wish they'd do a rerun of the full series.

Well, I'm glad it made someone smile!

There are so many of these threads, but I never know what or who they are about, and they make me feel completely out of the loop.

In my experience, people who should take notice of digs and implications like these are the ones who assume that it's not about them, and the ones who worry that they have caused offence are the ones who really haven't. These ones often stop posting, which is such a shame.

A lot of the time I think it is just that people have different styles. Some enjoy a good debate, and others prefer to keep things light and breezy, hating what they see as 'sniping'. The world 'argument' can mean either a reasoned (or heated) discussion, or a slanging match, and there is a huge difference.

It is true there have been several similar threads on here, but nothing changes. I know several people who whilst still logging in to GN no longer post. They didn't make a big fuss saying they were leaving (hoping everyone would beg them to stay) just stopped leaving comments.

im reposting this.
I don't think comments should be personalised to another 'name' Just comment. . Gransnet is an open forum for all posters to have a 'voice'. Never a need to be aggressive to another. still put what you think though.
Think twice before 'biting back'.
never miss a good chance to Shut Up. as Dr Phil says.

Kim19

Thank you, Marmight. You echo my thoughts but perhaps far more articulately. However, I simply move on when the going gets rough and head to another topic of interest. I've no doubt the anonymity gives people the feeling of power. Maybe they're frustrated in real life? What would I know?! Happily there are many gentle sites on here too. I never feel the need to withdraw my interest completely. Not at all.

On a thread asking for kindness....you choose to be snide about other posters.

Maybe think about that?

oh dear, here we go again!

MissAdventure and Chewbacca FYI I found a treasure trove of Monty Python on Netflix. That argument sketch is a classic!

That argument sketch is a classic!

And never more relevant!