I have just about given up on life during the lockdown!
I suffered from depression for many years before the pandemic came along and was hospitalised in September 2019 following a suicide attempt! I wish I could say it helped, but it has actually made me even more depressed and I am still traumatised by it! So much so, that it has damaged my relationship with my GP and from now on, I point blank refuse to speak to anyone connected with mental health!
My relationship with my husband has deteriorated over a number of years, since we both had to retire early due to ill health, and bankruptcy followed. That was in 2012 and he thinks I should have got over it by now - as far as I am concerned, I will never recover from the effect it has had on my life! Now that we are virtually cooped up with each other 24/7, I am teetering on the edge yet again!
I waited over 2 years to see a psychologist on the NHS for help with my depression and associated issues with extreme anger. I got only 3 sessions with her before the pandemic came along and all NHS mental health services were cancelled in the area where I live! I have since discovered that this psychologist has left the NHS and now works exclusively in the private sector, charging £100 for a 40 minute appointment! Going private is not an option I can consider, being on a low income!
I have looked into receiving some support from mental health charities, but the waiting lists are very long, due to Covid-19! I really don't know what the answer to my problem is, but at this rate, I actually feel that getting and dying from Covid-19 would be a welcome release! I am nearly 64, and this is not at all how I envisaged my retirement!