Being patronising or maybe not ?

If they are being friendly I don't see a problem. It seems that most forms of address will offend someone. Even if they get your name right there is the minefield of Mrs/Miss/Ms. I'm happy just to be noticed at all!

Not too bothered , it’s more the way it is said.

What does bother me is generalisations like . ‘I don’t object to a sweet old Yorkshireman calling me sweetheart, but not a mouthy know all southerner’.

Agree Rockgran, as long as it’s kindly meant, but sometimes it can be rude and patronising.

Sorry Ginny, I just speak as I find

I’m not in the least worried a t people using my first name, why would I be ?
Most of the sweetheart, love, pet, hen etc are regional and just fine. I loved the Bristol “my darling, my love” said together!
I don’t mind “guys”, it’s just a more modern thing.

I have to say I find “hun” so twee and sugary, (along with “hubby” and “aw” and “lovely lady”.
Sorry bit of a rant, things are going wrong today!

Not really - depends on the intent - if they say it in a patronising aggressive way, then I might mind; if it is just a figure of speech where they come from then why might I mind?

I do not have the energy to get offended by small things.

I don’t mind most of them, it depends more on how it’s said, certainly don’t mind you guys. But I’m a allegedly ‘a mouthy know it all southerner’, so take my view with a pinch of salt! ?

Hun is abhorrent. I can just about tolerate the others if I don't feel there is any intent to offend but I have a name and I'm happier if people use it.

I only use such terms of endearment and affection with close family and a few close friends. I would feel I was being disrespectful and patronising if I addressed others in such a way.

Groups are a bit more difficult, guys, chaps, peeps, y'all don't offend me but I'm aware they might niggle others but sometimes life is too short to make a list.

I do feel it's important to listen and learn if people object to being addressed by a generic term - you might not agree, but out of respect I believe it's good to learn that person's preferences.

I think I know what you mean, Sara1954, although I wouldn't put in geographical categories, more those of age. There are some charming elderly men (and women) who can call you 'dear' or 'love' and leave you feeling warm and appreciated, and some mostly young ones who can leave you feeling furious and patronised. It's something you can feel without necessarily being able to put your finger on why, I think.

I don't mind 'love' being a Yorkshire lass. Not so keen on the others but accept its usually a local thing. I do dislike 'hubby' and 'the wife'

I’m a southerner myself Jaxjacky, and am quite aware that not every southerner is rude, I was actually trying not to be too specific!

As long as it`s not a horrible word/name anyone can call me whatever they want to.
Dh rarely calls me by my first name and my parents called me babs/sweatheart/my love,sadly they aern`t here anylonger.

It doesn't bother me much although I don't care for the increasing use of 'hey you guys' . However , I suppose it is the modern equivalent of 'come along, chaps', which strangely infuriates those who like to use the term 'guys'.

I loathe it. "Luv" is OK, because up here (Yorkshire) it's a general term of mild endearment. What I really object to is that the older I get, the more women in sort of authority position - shopkeepers, receptionists, nurses - will address me KINDLY as lovey, or my lovely, as though encouraging some feeble old goat. I'm 65. I remember it infuriating my Mum about the same age. She made it to 96, so I'm hoping I've got a lot more years to be irritated!

I like a good gossip to some of my customers during the course of the day, and I think we can all tell the difference between somebody being friendly and chatty, and someone who is being patronising, and sorry, but I do notice regional differences, of course it could just be that I get the worst ones!

I quite like it, the only one I do not like is ma'am, a neighbour refers to all women that way, I am sure he feels he is being respectful but it really makes me cringe.

Blimey, I don't mind at all. Better than being called anything else as you get older, isn't it ? It's how it's perceived.

Ooh, I would like being called ma’am, it would make me feel all grownup and dignified ?

ginny and Jaxjacky - On behalf of another 'mouthy Southerner' Thank You!!

When I was working and dealing with some self important solicitors (male) the phrase they used to use, which drove me mad, was 'My dear'. Grrrr.

Oh Lucca mate, what’s wrong today my love.
Cheer up duck

Laura my lovely ....an annoying argy bargy with the bank. Some undignified medical camera work.
Being told to cut out caffeine and alcohol , yes my one glass per day must go.
Cheers for asking though petal.

Since moving South I love the phrase 'My lovely'

I have a male cousin in Yorkshire who greets everyone with ‘Ay up Cock!’ Cringe.....

In a telephone consultation yesterday a young male GP twice called me "my love" . I was surprised but found it rather amusing.