Overnight Visits

My in-laws wanted to have my newborn son to sat at their house overnight sometimes, but I couldn't bare to be parted from him from such a young age, he was my baby not theirs, he saw them regularly, I saw no need whatsoever for him to stay overnight. Its not your baby.

This is a very complex situation. Maybe you can discuss it with a counselor. What I have learnt is dont take a hard line or you will lose him. In New Zealand grandparents have no rights. We lost access to our little grandson for three months. We had to back off for a while and see him on their terms. It was all very unfair but it is what it is. Howabout taking her out for lunch if its permitted with covid and try and talk over what she wants and why. Tell her you aren't a threat because he belongs with his mother and you are just there to love your grandchild and support them both.

It sounds to me like she’s terrified you are going to try to take her child.

I’d put up with “group” visits for now until she learns she can trust you.

I’m sorry you are all in this situation

This is VERY unclear so I may have got this wrong presumably this is your own daughter as you say the father had been deported so I m guessing that wasn’t your son You say he was returned to his mum but wouldn’t you say he was returned to our daughter ??? You talk about her as if she isn’t your relation at all ??

Did you have the baby for a year while she was removing herself from a situation ??? Abusive maybe??? Was the baby hurt by the father or mother both or was she not protecting him enough?

How old is the child ? I m guessing young He should not be being pulled to love one or the other it sounds as if she doesn’t trust you to not take him from her again she is insecure and understandable so ( she lost him for a year)

We as grandparents should be there to support not take over
it sounds as if you have tried to offer alternatives but she’s still scared Why not ask her what she would be happy with and go with that you can still offer more later

She is very frightened she will lose her child again if not physically then that he will love you more...... give the girl a break let her control the visits obviously her life has been very out of control and she’s very very scared and needs to rebuild her relationship with the little lad
Hard one to comment on as it’s all so vague

I am going to write a childrens story for my grandchildren, ages 3 and 5.
Is there anyone who enjoys drawing who would be happy to join forces with me to provide some pictures for it.

Did you mean to post that here not very appropriate polly

Sorry inappropriate place, I will endeavour to find right place

Do find this posting somewhat strange? Even more so the OP just does not answer questions asked.
Find it strange that she refers to the person who appears to be her daughter just as her g.childs Mom. Is that really how she thinks of her - no wonder that person is not too keen on letting her son be with the g.parent too often.
I find it so difficult to anyone who can put their g.children before their own children - perhaps that is just me.
This poster risks losing all relationships with their g.child (and their daughter), if they do not stop to think more of the child instead of their own feelings.

I always find it strange when posters use 'mom' instead of 'mum' - something seems 'off'

Kestrel

I always find it strange when posters use 'mom' instead of 'mum' - something seems 'off'

Like they might be from a country that uses the word mom?

What a strange thing to make trolling assumptions on

Exactly what I thought, Summerlove.

It might be difficult, but you aren’t the parents here. You need to let the mother make the choices, whether or not you agree with them. This is her child.

I'm not a troll - just musing out loud - sorry if it upset anyone.

Kestrel

I'm not a troll - just musing out loud - sorry if it upset anyone.

I didn’t mean you were a troll

Just an odd thing to find off