Age Gap Relationships

Thankyou Fanny??

My husband is five years older than me and age has never been a problem, boys my age were too immature for me. I was twenty two when I married him and it was love at first sight. I decided I would marry him, the first time I saw him, but he was totally oblivious. I had actually given up hope, when he eventually asked me out! Engaged within three months and married a year later!

My mother married my father when she was thirty four there was a twelve year age gap between them. The gap became more obvious when my father's health deteriorated and her life was devoted to nursing him. She became a very unhappy and resentful, as my father had insisted that she gave up her career as a midwifery sister when the married, a job she loved. My father had very Victorian views as a husband and father and my mother became old before her time. .

History repeated itself when my thirty six year old daughter married her thirteen years older husband in our garden this summer. They were so disappointed and upset, when their wedding was cancelled for the day after lockdown.
Initially my daughter was afraid we would disapprove, due to the age gap, but my SIL has been the best thing that ever happened to her and us. Better to have a few years of happiness, than none at all!
I don't know how I would have got through shielding, without their support. We love him like our own son.

Their is a lovely love story. They both work for the same company and had liked each other for ages, but kept their feelings quiet.
My daughter looks about ten, so my SIL assumed she was very young and it wasn't appropriate to ask her out. An honourable man.
It was only when he found out her real age, that he plucked up courage asked her out.
They are very much in love, in fact I'm quite envious!?

Mary it sounds like your son in law is a very fortunate man.
I love that you immediately fell for your husband and knew that you wanted to marry him.
What was it that made you so smitten and so sure, do you think?
(I'm now reminded of the story of when Orlin met Laura, now there's a tale!)

I don't think it matters about any age gap, as long as the couple are happy with each other.
Look at Barbara Windsor and her husband - large age gap but they stayed together until very near the end and he had taken care of her all through her dementia until very near the end. That's love.

Fanny, it's a bit of a long story, it always is with me!.

When I was eighteen and at university I got a job in a social club. My mother didn't approve of me going to university, so I had to fund it myself.
My husband's father used to come in to the club with his friends, there were about twenty of them in the group, who played dominoes and put the world to rights.
They kind of took me under their wing and were always very kind to me, as I was rather shy at the beginning and would blush at all the banter.
However, my husband always managed to get in the last word very unusual for me and I got more and more infuriated with him. (I still do). I loved the conversations, he was so witty, but pretented to be quite ingenuous.
He would tease me about being at university and being so much smarter than him, behaving as if he knew nothing about university life. I had no idea what his job was.

Roll on two years later and I was head barmaid and more than able to deal with all the carry on. My FIL and his cronies used to wait for me to lock up and set the alarm and would walk me along the road. They were very protective, but my MIL thought my FIL was walking the barmaid home! A bit of a misunderstanding to say the least.
In the end, my FIL became like a father to me.

Then one day, I saw him on his way home from work, wearing a suit and I thought WOW! I had never really paid any attention to how my husband looked. It was his brain I was interested in! .
I had never seen anyone so handsome and I remember thinking, "I'm going to marry you, whatever it takes I realised that I actually enjoyed all the sparring with him and trying to get the better of him.

For six months I pined for him. I used to see him at the bus stop on my way to uni, he was on his way to work. I always played it very cool, as did he. I had eventually given up on him, when he asked me out. I said No!, as I was going to a joint birthday party and couldn't let my friend down.
He got off the same train my friend and I were catching to go to the party and my friend could see why I was in love! At least he knew I really was going out with a friend.

I did accept the second invitation and we went out for the first time on 19th November 1975. It was a beautiful, frosty starry night and I knew then he really was the one. ?
Shame it was downhill after that! ?

In the end, on our first date, I found out that he had been playing me along. He had attended the same university and was doing another degree at night, as well as his job in local government. That's why he wasn't always about. I do like brainy men!
He later told me he had been trying to pluck up courage for months to ask me out, but someone else had told him that they were going to ask me out, so he stood back! I sound like a hussy, I was not!

We were married only six weeks, before I ended up in ICU for six weeks. He has stuck by me through all the ill health that has plagued my life, he got much more than he bargained for. I would be lost without him. (Don't tell him that, he has turned into a grumpy old man, but he is my grumpy old man!)

My DH is 5 years younger than me, my mother was 2 years younger than my father, my Aunt was 8 years younger than my uncle. One day we were all out for a meal and my mother got the giggles. Eventually she was able to tell us that she found it hilarious as we were all with our Toy Boys! Does age matter? Not a jot as long as you are happy.

My MIL and FIL had a matchmake courtship. They were married within six weeks arranged by family. There was a fifteen years difference in age and they had one child my husband. I would not say it was a happy marriage they were like chalk and cheese. My MIL made the best of it my FIL was a miserable selfish sod.

There`s 9 months between dh and myself,i`m the older as he loves pointing that out.

I don’t think age gaps matter. Look at how many same age couples don’t get on and split up! What annoys me is that it’s still ‘not right’ for many people if the woman is older.

In sickness and in health Marydoll, not just words. A commitment bound in our love for eachother.

You are correct there, Laura!

Husband is 6 years older than me (71 and 65). I don’t think we look older/younger now than each other as he is only slightly grey and has all his hair still. His sister at 82 doesn’t have a single grey hair. Dare I say it, but I am the more mature one. Osteoarthritis is written on my face as I never have a pain free day. But the current high pressure area has made such a difference atm. I need to live in a desert.

My husband is 8 years younger than me - we met when we were in our 30s and the age gap made no difference.
Until recently as I'm in my mid 80s and quickly running out of energy. Whereas he still has some strength left. still much love beween us.
I know this sounds sexist, but it seems more natural for a female to be looking after the male in old age.

About 40 years ago I taught with a young woman who did part time as she had a young child about two at home - her retired husband looked after the child. It turned out that her husband was about 80 and she was early thirties. That is the biggest age gap I have ever come across - almost 50 years but they were a very happy little family..

My husband is 11 years younger than me, and we have been together for 30 years, he is now 58 and I'm 69. One of my friends said he was born middle aged so it doesn't matter!!!
Which is true, although he is becoming a bit of a Victor Meldrew. He has some excellent traits. His mother taught him to do housework, cook and he is great at DIY. He is nice looking too. Blessed as the young ones say.

Fennel I’m not sure if it is more natural for the woman to look after the man.
Orlin is a wonderful nurse and I’m a horrid patient. I’m an impatient nurse and he’s a patient patient.
Maybe we are unnatural

Laura is your DH Norwegian?

Bluesky no he’s a Brit not Norwegian.
As I have called myself LauraNorder as in Law an’ order, I decided to call my husband Orlin as in All in Order.
Me trying to be witty

Laura

My first husband was 5 years older. My now husband is 5 years younger. We met at aged 48 and 43. I thought he might be too young..or rather think me too old as in his previous long term relationship she was 12 younger than me, I could have been Get mother.!!
However, within about 3 weeks we knew we had something special. Waited 8 years to get married and now married 16 years. Pure happiness.

My ex husband was the love of my life he was 14 years older than me. He l realised was a drunk a womaniser and jealous of me as a younger wife.
Every time I have to meet him he tells me how he regrets all of the past and wishes that we were still together.
It’s a big story and one that I can’t be bothered to tell as my feelings are dead due to the pain l suffered at his nasty rotten hands.

DH 8 years older than me - but he is is a young 71 year old in outlook - working out over whatsapp with his personal trainer at the moment ...

Ten years difference means nothing at 30 and 40. However the difference between 70 and 80 can have serious implications for the relationship.

My hubby is nearly 10 years younger than me. Second marriage for me,first for him. Been married for almost ten years

My DH is 4 years older than me, at Uni and living away from home. We met when I was 17. I never fancied anyone my own age.