Daughter’s astonishing comment!

"Hahaha, no chance. You were dead set on going to Scruff High School."

(Although maybe finishing school could have come after that. )

Too true Gingster.
Men are pretty much the same,well mine is anyway.
Selective memory. and hearing.

My eldest son said to me recently I had held him back in football as I made him join a team that wasn't very good and he could have been so much better. Firstly what a ridiculous thing to focus on but secondly, he chose the team, all his friends played in the team and he is still in touch with some of them now, thirdly something I will not say to his face, he really wasn't very good at football and isn't really at sport in general but he enjoys it and that is part of what sport should be about imo. Also, the team was good for him because it wasn't pushy and the coach/manager was really emotionally supportive of them - something you don't always get with youth football.

Oh well

Franbern
My fortysix year old daughter is exactly the same. She complains about how she had all these endless chores to do, none of the rest of us remember them.
Poor girl, I’m surprised she didn’t ring child Line.

I have 3 adult sons who always blame us for everything....?? and never remember all the good things and times we all spent together....they forget all the unsocialable hours I worked( nights,weekends etc to fit around my husbands day working hours)....they always make out that I have hardly worked a day and their Dad has always worked hard.....he left work 2 yrs ago...took redundancy and I am still working but they still overlook that???....kids remember what they want and that will never change....Saying that all our boys have turned out to be amazing husbands and dads and have all workand are in good jobs... And went to uni so we must have done something right????? and they are all pleasant, polite and very kind?

I’m another who gets told a litany of all the awful chores I made my children do, how badly treated they were. Also how we ruined our D’s life by moving her just as she was starting secondary school (we couldn’t help it, H had got a brilliant promotion and you simply had to move). This meant she got stuck with the worst friend possible and this ruined her school life. The fact we supported her all through university, she’s in touch with loads of other school friends and she’s now a headmistress with a brilliant career path is immaterial. Woe is me!

It was only yesterday that I was thinking what wonderful knitting and crocheting my mother used to do and I never took any interest then. I so wish I had.

That's awful Smileless. Fortunately we are not estranged and our DD has never blamed us for anything. It's the smaller stuff. If I relate something from the past, she will sometimes say 'No that's not how it happened, it happened like this' then relate her version.
She has the attitude of because I'm older I have a poor memory (I haven't). It's only small stuff so I just say "OK dear'.

So glad I’m not alone.
Our oldest daughter makes us sound like the most evil of parents.
I don’t know where these recollections come from, some are loosely based on fact, some are pure fantasy.
She went to an independent school, which has apparently made her life difficult because when she went to university she was ill prepared for the lifestyle.
She says within our friendship group, she was the oldest child, do always had to look after them all, absolutely not true, we were aware she was probably a bit old to play with all the others, so we always included one of her friends.
She had endless chores to do, I think with her brother they were on dishwasher duty, and if they wanted extra money they were expected to work.
Oh, and she was banned from reading in bed, maybe I’d say sometimes, it was time to turn the light off and go to sleep.
I just don’t know where it all comes from!

Perhaps worth remembering that we were teenagers too. In fact, wasn't the word coined for our generation?

My two D's were born in the early 60's---no complaints, things were tough at times but everyone coped. However they went throughout their adult lives was down to them. I'd guided them through childhood and they learned from that and never to expect anything without working hard for it.

They've all been working and continue to do so, apart from StepD who's retired, but their values were in the right place.

2 stepchildren too, so 4 children in all. I didn't push any of them to do anything that they didn't want to do and what they all did was under their own volition without expectations. It's their offsprings who expect the moon. Changeing times

My mum " tried " pushing me but I wasn't having any

We're all close as a family, big as it now is, and to my mind nobody has ever commented in a negative way at all. They were all grateful for what they had, which is fine by me.

My 46yr old daughter said I should have made her work harder in school, she forgets the times I caught her watching tv in her room instead of studying and grounding her for not studying.

EllanVannin

Mainly in those who were born in the early to mid 80's. Unusual for such behaviour in those born before.

Not always! My DS is very cross she didn’t have tennis lessons.
Two of us did and she could have had them if she had wanted them.
She is certain she would have been Wimbledon champion if she hadn’t been deprived ?

According to our sons, it seems we could never do right for doing wrong.... Even so, they have turned out to be good husbands and fathers, both with good jobs and lovely wives and families. We must have got something right, surely

Some of mine have a totally different view of their childhood from the others even though they were all brought up in the same way. Strange, isn’t it? Have to say they all remember the freedom they had to wander around and visit friends unlike today’s kids who seem to be ferried round in cars. They always walked to school in primary school though they had to catch buses/trains for high school.

Are you kidding me! They ALL have selective memories. And they bring up that ONE time that you smacked, chastised, ignored, laughed at them etc etc at EVERY opportunity. Get used to it. It’s called being a parent.

Hmmm, my children seem to have gone the other way. Now that they want me to be looking after their children while they work, I seem to have turned into the perfect mother. Worrying because I never felt I was that good at it!! I actually think I am better with grandchildren then I ever was with my own

My three don't seem to begrudge anything that they were made to do or stopped from doing that they wanted. In fact, apart from DS3 not learning a musical instrument (we didn't think he had the staying power to justify the outlay), I don't think there were any cases of this.

I do remember asking my mother why she didn't send me to ballet lessons, as I was always badly coordinated and gangly and they would have been good for me. She said "You didn't want to go". I don't remember being asked.

So it's not only millennials who have selective memories...

I think some people have to blame someone else if they are unhappy, have regrets etc. I certainly blame my parents for my horrendous childhood. Most on here seem to have given their children the best childhood they could.

We sent our 3 DDs to an independent school from the ages of 10, 9 and 7. DD2 didn’t want to go for the same reasons as OP’s daughter. What a fuss and palaver, I hate it, it’s not fair etc. Fast forward 25 years said daughter is married in Australia with 4 children, bewailing the fact that they can’t afford to educate the children privately as ‘it’s so much better’. I gave her ‘the Look’ and she was modest enough to admit that we’d done the right thing for her. I made sure she realised that if we’d sent her elsewhere she would have probably in later life said it was unfair she’d been treated differently. She actually agreed ?. Oh, the benefit of hindsight.
DD3 suddenly became vegetarian 4 years ago and was furious that I didn’t know. ‘I told you’ erm no you didn’t! This a week after a huge family Christmas holiday including the Oz family, where a vast amount of turkey, beef, ham, pheasant and more had been consumed by absolutely everyone. As a parent you just have to suck it up apparently.

Nanna
How I agree with that, we lived next door to a farm, and they had three boys, the children would be out from dawn till dusk, in all weathers.
When my son reminisces now, he says I left them to it, and I never had any idea where they were or what they were doing, don’t want to spoil his childhood memories, but I was in and out like a yo-yo checking on them.

A few weeks ago my younger DD now 48 was looking over my shoulder at old photographs - including some of her with her teenage hairstyles. I was asked why I let her walk around looking like that

My eldest son blames us for sending him to the wrong school at 11. That is why he never worked at school and did badly he says. He worked in reception class but by year 1 he had no interest in school work and did the minimum all through school. We were always getting called in because he was underachieving. We moved when he was 13. We let him chose the school. He enjoyed it socially but did no work. All our fault he feels!!

Both my husband and I had the most basic of educations, his childhood was happy, mine wasn’t. But we were determined to do better for our children, they were all well educated, we supported them in everything they wanted to do, with the youngest, my life was completely taken over by her passion, and we would spend weekends driving all over the country to various events.
Their friends were always welcome at our home, we had some lovely holidays, it wasn’t perfect, we worked hard, so they were often taken to work with us, but we did our best.
I guess you can never really tell if you’re doing the right thing.

Are you or your daughter very posh missfoodlove? I don’t know anybody who went to finishing school.