Are you a confident person

As a child I was very shy, but my confidence grew when I started working. I got married and my ex turned out to be very controlling and put me down a lot saying I was stupid, fat (size 8/10) and ugly. My confidence disappeared, I hated people even looking at me. I plucked up the courage to finally leave him and I'm getting better about myself as time goes on.

Felt I had confidence at work. Outside social events I never relished and still don't unless small group.

I think adversity can send you either way. Coconut has overcome adversity and come out stronger. I have overcome adversity but it has left me fearful.

I am confident and always have been, I know I am lucky but my father gave me self worth and I am strong, I have done the same for my daughter and sons and always thought whatever else I gone wrong I got that right.

I’ve def grown more confident with age. I’ve overcome many issues with a domineering mum and 1st husband, then the next 2 men in my life had drink problems, I tried and failed to help either, so walked away. I soared in my career, shocking myself at what I’d achieved ? ....So my life battles have made me the strong woman I now am. My 3 AC adore me, so do their partners and all my GC, plus I am so lucky and have many friends .....and all their constant love and support keeps me strong..... much to my mums surprise ?

Judy I am just like you. All my life I have worked where there have been difficult, angry, upset people to deal with, and I earned a reputation for being calm and confident in those situations. In fact I often found my colleagues melting away at the approach of a furious person as they always felt I could diffuse without 'giving in'. That was my work persona, but in my own life I am not confident at all, and hate confrontation of any kind. I don't like parties - and as for being the centre of attention, my skin crawls at the thought!

No confidence, mother always put me down, laughed at my ideas, considered I had a worthless job. I hate big parties and entertaining at home is so stressful we’ve decided, post covid, to take friends out to dinner to repay their hospitality.

I’m confident and assertive, so much so that family and friends turn to me to deal with difficult situations as they don’t have the confidence to do things themselves. I love a party and happy to dance away.

I wasn't as confident as a young person as others seemed to be but I've become more confident as I've got older. Had a couple of jobs, including running a business with my DH, which I've have worked hard at and become very confident in. I am now retired and find it quite easy to make and keep friends. I understand people better as I've got older and perhaps I can tell fairly quickly when someone is a person I will get on with.

I think I've become more confident as I've got older.But my confidence has taken a knock with lockdown.Last time we came out of lockdown, I found it hard to get back into doing some volunteering I had been doing,I had to force myself to go.I feel the same now.

That is SO true henetha. That's my experience exactly.

No I’m pretty feeble and a bit of a person pleaser......But if I have to do or say something when my buttons are pressed I can change, so I would define myself more as a strong person who is not confident still not sure how that works ?

I was never confident as a child, having been told to "speak when spoken to" etc. but have developed a bit more as things I have done or said turned out to be right. I could never ask a question in public or make a speech, but my children seem able to do these things so I must have done something right.

No. I think it's learned in childhood and most of us with difficult childhoods never develop confidence.

Better now but i was not confident as a child. Bullied at secondary school too. Back then teachers ignored it and parents were much the same. However now I feel good in my own skin I too don`t particularly like parties but can cope as people think I am the life and soul of it not knowing the person that lies below. We all learn through life the coping strategies and eventually just how to be ourself.

I am not confident. I lived in the shadow of a much brighter sister, plus my mother constantly found fault with me. I can truthfully say it's really blighted my life and eroded my confidence.

I’ve never had any confidence, partly due to my upbringing.
However I was really shocked when a work colleague once said to me I wish I was confident like you, I was stunned and said I was one of the least confident people she could meet but she said I always come over with plenty of confidence and knowledge, just goes to show sometimes we must be acting and not know it.

Thank you everyone for your interesting posts. Clearly some of us are more confident than others in particular situations. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

Assertive and confident to a fault, but learning to be, my son’s words “a bit more chill”

I think my confidence comes from many hours as a young child being on my own when mum was working.
From starting school at 5 years old mum left me outside the school gates at 6.30 in the morning and I went in with the cleaners when they arrived.
Sometimes mum didn't arrive home until 7 pm. I used to make the fire and clean up for her when I was under 8.

I believe the formative years make the person you become in later life.

I don't believe anyone is any better than me or worse, hence meeting new people is never a problem. I am chatty and outgoing with a genuine interest in other people whatever their position in life.

Welcome to Gransnet, Littletreehugger48. I hope you find it to your liking.

Yes, I had a difficult childhood which toughened me up and made me self reliant

I was shy as a child but cheeky and loud to hide it as a teenager. I was confident at work and could handle myself well doing a particularly demanding job in my twenties.
I had a very difficult first marriage that knocked my usual confidence. I also had terrible arguments and fall outs with my siblings when my mum was ill.
Working with my husband I was confident as we were a good team. I do have mobility issues because of osteoarthritis I think this has knocked the wind out of my sails.

Yes, I am, always have been. And I’m not bombastic, loud or uncaring.

No, not at all. I never have been, and was determined that my children would not have the handicap of shyness in their lives. They are, for the most part, confident, happy people so I’ve done something right there.
Things got better as I grew older but sometimes I still cower in the back of the house if the doorbell rings, and hate walking in to a restaurant or social situation. Yet I love my friends, and will chat to strangers quite easily. I’m odd!