Noisy neighbours.

The problem is that if you make an official complaint you will have to disclose this if you want to sell your house so buyers would know about the neighbours. If your complaint isn't official (ie in you name as a neighbour) I doubt that the local authority will do anything. The police cannot really do anything either.
I'm not clear if the house is rented or not, but if it is your best plan would be to approach the letting agent or landlord.

This is so hard, I certainly wouldn’t be rushing to report to Social Services, just because adults are noisy and fight a lot doesn’t mean their children are being neglected or abused. I would also be very careful about involving the police, they are not breaking any laws and it will cause very bad feeling.

Some families thrive on “rows” and are noisy.

We are a large family, we were very noisy when three of our four children were born with 5 years of each other and we had dogs who barked.

It’s an issue, we live in a terraced house with small gardens all next to each other and backing on to each other.

People’s levels of what is and isn’t “acceptable” & reasonable differ so much.

Despite being a “noisy family” my kids were expected to be in bed at quiet at a reasonable time and we did/do try and keep our dogs quiet. I also would not dream of being in a hot tub late in the evening, they are noisy and people in them are noisy.

My suggestion is to write them a really nice, but honest note just explaining how you are feeling, mentioning everything that is causing you heartache and pop it through their door and see what happens.

It’s always hard when neighbours move in who are so different to previous ones.

Bear in mind having noisy difficult young children can be awful for the parents themselves and they may not be coping very well.

Very best of luck

I always feel very sympathetic to anyone with a situation like this. We have been unlucky enough to have to put up with a few extremely noisy and generally inconsiderate sets of neighbours over the years. In every case we started off polite and reasonable, and ended up with very bad feeling and ultimately had to move. (Luckily we have always only rented.) People who are like that never seem to understand that there's anything wrong with their behaviour and always blame the person on the receiving end for being "miserable". We finally got lucky with the house we have lived in now for 20+ years. Can only suggest what others have suggested - but mainly I do send lots of sympathy and good wishes for a satisfactory outcome.

Savvy

If the children are young, I'd be tempted to call social services. It's certainly not a good environment to raise children in and you could report it anonymously.

If they own the house, you can report it to environmental health, if they rent, then a call to the landlord/letting agent is needed.

Either way, you can't be the only ones who hear them, especially if they are in the garden.

Thats a bit rough isnt it? There were five of us when we were young and living at home and I am sure we were noisey at times - but do they really deserve to have Social Services called - how do you even know that the children are in any kind of danger?

Is the property bought or rented? If rented, you could speak with the owner / landlord.
We had a problem in my street caused by one family and in all honesty it was a total nightmare.
The police wouldn't act and told us to phone the council and the council would do likewise and advise us to speak to the police!
The advice to us eventually was to log all noise over the period of a few weeks and then speak with the council again. I think that's your starting point.

In a moment of pique I wrote to my mp about the general problem of noise from neighbours especially since Covid seems to have highlighted the issues. He did not think that legislation was the way forward and instead suggested we explain how noise was impacting on the use and enjoyment of our garden in the summer. This seems to contrast very strongly with the German way of life where noise is very much not the way of life!

Who suggested calling social services on here ? Whilst it’s obviously a nightmare situation , have you any idea what can of worms you would open if you get social services involved ? Honestly , try every tactic other than the official routes unless you think the children are in danger and that’s a different matter then .

I do feel for you. I also had that lived in my previous home for 25yrs. My neighbor split with his wife and had a break down. When he was in hospital he met someone and she moved in right away. Half his age she seemed nice. Did normal hello etc. Within weeks it started.Omg where do I start. She would scream when he hit her. I rang police many times but she told me to mind my own business. She would Hoover fun house at crazy times. She also played the piano yes a real full size one. Me and other neighbors faces when we saw it going into the house ? lets us say she didn’t hit all the keys correctly. Because she did during day we were told not much could do about it. She also liked her karaoke everyday she did that anytime of the day with or without a drink.Well only so much a person can take. So I moved out. After living with it for 3yrs. Now in a quiet area and they are still there driving neighbors crazy the ones that haven’t moved. So good luck with your neighbors.

Act sooner rather than allow any anger and resentment to build up. As others have said keep a diary and seek advice from the Council's environmental health team, but also do not allow their noise to become a preoccupation and try and maintain a sense of perspective. If you are feeling angry a note through their door may be better than risk a confrontation that may permanently damage your relationship with said neighbours. I have been on the otherside of a neighbour complaint (an unreasonable one of course!) so post this from that perspective.

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/housing/problems-where-you-live/complaining-about-your-neighbour/

Poor you. This can be so awful and yes, it is difficult to know what to do. All of the above advice is good. I would be very tempted to move but don't know your circumstances.

When they row how about playing classical music with the volume turned up? That will tell them you can hear them without confronting them.

A welcome visit or a card with either a note or a mention that you hope that they don't hear your tv/music or disturbed by the mower as it's amazing how noise travels in that area as it is so quiet since the lockdown! Hopefully they will get the hint. If it persists, you need to keep a diary and or make notes , possibly recordings before you make an official complaint but I think that after a while, the noise will not be as noticeable as you get used to it.
Believe me, we had a family with children move in after no children in the vicinity for years and at first their noise did seem intrusive but now, I hardly notice - even though the youngest has tantrums when he can't get his way with his older siblings!

I live in a flat. When we first moved in they had almost nightly rows in the building next door (terrible/nonexistent sound-proofing) beginning after midnight (our cut off time for noise). I ended up banging on the wall with a metal knife every time they started up until they got the message and moved the row elsewhere. I never knew them by sight because their building has the front door on a different street.

I really feel for you. We have just moved for 2 reasons, one being we wanted to be nearer to family but the second was equally as important and that was the noisy neighbours and not just in the summer either! It seems there are so many ignorant people that think they can make as much noise as they like and it’s their right not to have to worry about anyone else. In our previous home we had on one side a stupid couple who played the radio constantly all day in the garden just the other side of the party wall, the other side had some sort of private hire business going from the house that the authorities don’t know about so a constant round of taxis sitting in our cul de sac plus their daughter and her kids in their hot tub screaming and playing most days which often set their dogs off barking and some man living next to them playing the drums (badly) with his bifold doors open.....lovely in the summer especially as you can imagine....not. So we’ve just moved to an over 55’s cottage and will see what this summer brings, it’s not perfect because it’s fairly near a busy road but I can most of the time tune that out at least, where children screaming, dogs barking, engines warming up and drums and radio’s which I particularly hate I just couldn’t do. My suggestion would be to keep a record of times, dates etc plus have a quiet word about the noise with them and if it doesn’t get better think about reporting them to the environment health or moving which is an upheaval but is worth it if it drives you mad. Good luck because I know how stressful it can be. Just a thought meanwhile a pair of ear defenders?

I've had zero luck reporting my nightmare neighbours ?
The noise abatement team weren't coming out at all.
They wrote to everyone in my block and the offending neighbours block. Because most of the flats are owned nobody wants to start a complaint they will have to declare at a later date.... so I'm stuck with the arguments, I have heard him hitting her (please don't tell me to call the police).
And now someone else in the block has a howling dog fgs!
Do these people rent or own?

Grannygrumps1

Are you just being fussy. Are they really that noisy. When I was a child my next door neighbour complained to my mother that I was noisy when I sat in the garden using a typewriter.

The OP has already described the noise. Screaming and shouting from the mother and children. Barking dogs, noisy hot tub sessions late at night. I think that’s a bit more than the tapping of a typewriter.

I have to agree with infoman, if it annoys and upsets you after 1 month of having your idyll spoilt it almost certainly wont improve with time, having lived with a similar situation and much thought we had to move from our home of 20+ years as it was making us ill and your life stops being your own, but look around carefully at your new chosen neighbourhood before moving. I am so glad we made the decision to move. Hope you manage to sort it out x

Everyone's idea of noisy neighbours is different. Maybe it is because you have had 50 years of peace and quiet and now you have a lively family beside you who do not realise that they are living in "sleepy hollow" and the "rules". If they have bought the house then there is little you can do except try and make friends and welcome your new neighbours whose life is very different to yours. You probably are going to have a lively noisy Summer of children enjoying the outdoors, dogs barking and playing and fraught parents arguing, good luck.

I think Social Services might have more important things to deal with. My daughter had neighbours who called the SS because her daughter screams and shouts, throws tantrums and behaves really badly. We have been trying to get her help through the school and GP who agree there is a problem but the jury is out as to what is causing it. When the SS arrived, they could give you a raft of advice about not to do but no help at all about what to do. Every time I asked, "what should they be doing," I was met with a, "It's very difficult but you mustn't do that!" In the end, the school wrote to SS to tell them that their involvement was unhelpful, that the child's behaviour had deteriorated with removing all boundaries/consequences which made the child feel she could act as she pleased and that they were making life very difficult for 2 parents who were doing everything they could in difficult circumstances. The school, the parents and Enabling Families are still unpicking the damage.
We have just had 150 houses built behind us and the first few months was an eye opener with regards to the noise level from kids, parents and everybody who seemed to live there. However, as my son said, we probably seem loud when we have all the kids in the swimming pool or my autistic grandson has a meltdown. We decided to learn to live with it, rather than complaining.

Move! My friends bought a beautiful house at a very reasonable price. They now know why. They have the neighbours from hell. After complaining to landlord (property next door is rented) environmental health and even the fire brigade after a particularly large garden bonfire, they have had 3 months of misery as the tenants are now knocking on their door late at night and waking the children, playing loud music for a few minutes to wake the children and throwing dog mess over the fence and saying it must be from my friends dog. The house is going up for sale soon. Just move to somewhere you will be happy. It appears the law protects awful neighbours

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Back in the 80s I bought a first floor flat and the ground floor flat below mine was rented. The neighbour used to come home when the pubs shut. I'd hear his car radio as he drove in, then doors slamming, TV would go on and turned up to loud volume and I'd lie in bed listening to TV programmes I'd already seen earlier in the evening! One day, after being disturbed until about 3am the final straw came the next morning when the whole town was woken by an exercise at the RAF base nearby with sirens starting at 6am. After a day at work feeling like a zombie, that evening I put a note through the door explaining how the soundproofing was less than perfect and asking him to keep the noise down. I waited in trepidation as the car arrived, radio blared, doors slammed etc and he entered the flat. Then complete silence. I never met him and never heard him again! He clearly had no idea how noisy he had been.

I hope a polite note will work for you as it did for me. It was such a relief not to have to take things further and to go back to my previously peaceful existance. Thankfully all my other neighbours were fairly quiet and the flats were reasonably soundproofed with concrete floors etc as purpose built. Most were privately owned so my situation was different to most with a renting neighbour, so I was lucky he became much more considerate when it was pointed out.

I might be tempted to actually mention something you’ve heard them arguing about, or even some music they’ve played.
When we married 40 years ago it was the first time my husband had lived in an attached house, his parents had a large detached house and were both quite deaf, he played music very loudly. I told him, having lived in a semi for most of my life, that it was too loud but he just didn’t realise. Our lovely neighbour very gently told him that whilst he had enjoyed our ‘Blondie’ and ‘dire straits’ albums their son couldn’t get to sleep.
I still fear annoying neighbours and constantly tell my husband and my brother not to play music too loudly in the garden during the summer. As a non drinker perhaps I notice the noise more or just don’t lose my inhibitions.

You have my sympathy. Fifty years is such a long time to be happy in one place and such a shame to have it ruined.

I left my home of 25 years to move to be near my children. I was happy there until a madman moved in next door seven years ago. Seven years of misery which I won't go into.

I had to declare the issue to the new owners, but they didn't care thankfully. These days you have to report any problems with neighbours to potential buyers.

It's a risk moving later in life. No doubt about it. I am fortunate where I am now apart from the son next door learning the saxaphone very painfully.

The mother of the family is fairly deaf so the tv is loud, but they have now moved it to the other side of their lounge and it has made all the difference. I didn't have to mention anything, but I was planning to say something like this "My goodness the walls are thin for 1960s houses aren't they ! "

I wish you all the best. I made the jump at 70 and it took some settling but I have no regrets.