Feeling sorry for men

Nanna58

How sad that you count someone who compliments you or holds open a door as ‘ a poor old soul who hasn’t moved with the times ‘ Algerias - what would you consider an acceptable up to date alternative , a guy in a hoodie who barges past ?

Somebody who helps me by holding a door open for me when I've got my hands full. Not somebody who thinks they need to jump ahead and hold a door open deferentially as I waltz through it like Lady Muck. Which I've said several times on this thread but which some people seem to be having trouble grasping.

How very rude to assume that because some one does not agree with your point of view they must therefore be incapable of ‘ grasping ‘ it.

Its not about agreeing with me. I've said what I think at least three times now and people still don't understand it or haven't read it. What would you call that?

Err - just people who disagree with you , not wilfully , naughtily misunderstanding as you seem to keep insisting! ?

They cant really disagree with how she feels, she is talking about how she feels about door opening, you can feel differently but you cant control how she feels. So if I say I feel hot you can say I feel cold but you cant say you dont feel hot. Well you can but it would be odd.

Not sure I am helping here Alegrias

Time for bed , next time a man holds open a door for me I shall thank him even more heartily than I have hithertoo !!!!!

Galaxy , I loved that !!!!!?

I will explain this as I suspect there is a misunderstanding.

I think it is right and proper for someone to assist anybody else by holding a door open for them if they have their hands full, if they are dealing with several small children, or if if they are otherwise having difficulty getting the door open.

I think it is right and proper to pause and keep the door open if someone is close behind you and letting go of the door would mean it bangs into them.

I think it is anachronistic that any person thinks they need to open a door for me and allow me to pass through before they do, simply because they think that's polite, because I am a woman. It is unnecessary.

I've got no idea where the misapprehension came from that I am being rude to people who disagree with me. I'm giving you my opinion. You are entirely at liberty to disagree with me. But don't berate me for something I haven't said or done.

Galaxy

Not sure I am helping here Alegrias

I'm not sure! But thanks anyway ?

To be really clear on my behalf as well, my post was in support of Alegrias, not that she needs my help or would even want it after that attempt.

Definitely time for bed.

I had to read it twice Galaxy but I got it! I do appreciate it ?

Alegrias
You are explaining yourself very well.

I am a woman and I have hands to open doors.

I dont need anybody to open the door for me as if my capabilitiea as a woman are less developed than the ones of a man.

When rapists (who ARE mostly men) are regularly convicted and when women can be safe in public spaces at night then possibly there will be a place for feeling sorry for men.

But right now we live in a society which is heavily stacked against women. So no. I feel sorry for women suffering assault, domestic violence, sexist jokes and put downs, and on and on. Not blokes who aren't quite sure where they fit in.

If all the good blokes got behind women, to try to work towards stamping out male violence against women, it'd be achieved a lot sooner. Rather than winging on about 'not all men".

Hithere

Alegrias
You are explaining yourself very well.

I am a woman and I have hands to open doors.

I dont need anybody to open the door for me as if my capabilitiea as a woman are less developed than the ones of a man.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. ?

Can any posters explain something to me?
When you say you or your husband are scared to approach an alone child why is that? You say times have changed. How?
What exactly is different. Do you imagine there has been an increase in false accusations?

There’s a lot of misogyny on here .

Sorry wrote the above in reply to a previous post.
To answer the OP. I am more sorry for women who can’t walk home alone in the evening, or who are constantly harassed on the street with catcalls or groped on the tube , or schoolgirls in their uniforms being propositioned by men or sexual remarks made by boys at school ad infinitum. Women have always had to “be careful”, now men have to as well. Yes it’s a shame that “innocent” remarks or behaviour can be misconstrued, but if men challenged other men consistently then the unacceptable behaviour that has been commonplace may one day decrease. We were shocked when the husband of a couple we vaguely knew was accused of touching up one of his daughter’s friends when he took them swimming. It’s such a shame a man can’t take children swimming we thought - it subsequently turned out he had hundreds of images of child porn on his computer.

Some sad perceptions on here. You cannot comment if someone looks nice but you can on their intellect or achievements!!! So if you are not, sit in the corner.
You have to pass an injured child by if there are no witness to vouch you don't accost them! So presumably if they were going to run into the road, you've would shout to a toddler, halt, do not go any further, return to the pavement until your responsible adult appears. Dont interact with people when out unless it's misinterpreted, not everyone lives with someone they can go days without seeing anyone, but whatever they do don't start a conversation you might say the wrong thing, , there's always the weather I suppose. You could say it's lovely to see tge sun to someone, but they have had their garden turfed and want the rain. How far do you take this. So if you're elderly and lost your family,when out keep your mouth shut. Thank goodness I've not come across such pettiness, overthinking every comment. I think some people must have too much time on their hands. Generally people are nice.

On another note I find it amusing that chez nous I am the one who does the DIY but when we have work done by a tradesman some seem to want to talk to my DH, as if he would have a clue! He is the least practical man ever and hands them over to me. It seems that some still think the little woman can't do any DIY.
And I agree that I don't need to swan through an open door when I can open it myself. Common courtesy applies if I have my hands full.
Men just need to use some common sense and basic manners.

I shall tell Grampy to start letting doors swing back into peoples faces
N&G No1 That's not fair. He could be hurting an innocent by-stander!
Far better to let "Lady Muck" waltz through then slam it on her heels!
Of course you can always plead that your poor arthritic hand couldn't hang on to the door any longer!
The proliferation of sliding doors has reduced the number of opportunities for certain people looking to be affronted!
Do misandrists ever lighten up?
OoRoo

Do misogynists ever lighten up?

In the end, I think context is everything. I was just thinking that when I left my last job someone wrote in the card that they will miss seeing all the beautiful items of clothing I wear (I did have some nice ones, to be fair, and they were unique) and I wasn't offended. I laughed, it was quite sweet. Mind you, it was written by a woman and I did know her well enough. I'm not going to get offended about someone holding a door for me. Too many bigger issues in life. If I was dating and a man pulled out a chair for me? I'd probably think he was trying a bit hard. Maybe some men just need to think a bit more about context in some situations?

I agree totally Vegansrock.

Time for change.