How upset would you be if someone said you were boring!

Gosh. Is it a chore being perfect?
There's something called diversity. It means we're all different.

Two opinions I've been given over the years ...... Ex Husband's was that I was boring, and should take more interest in what is going on around me ......... A very good friend's opinion about boring was that "It's not up to YOU to entertain everyone ... if someone is bored then it's up to themselves to un-bore themselves!" ))) (He worded it better than I have, but that's what he meant.

My brother in law of 48 years keeps repeating stories and anecdotes from 30years ago that I’ve heard countless times, and when he’s finished he starts telling us again in a different way.
I’m screaming inside and sometimes I say yes I remember you telling me that but it makes no difference he still carries on with it.
The worse thing is his wife is getting as bad as him and no they don’t suffer with dementia.

My DH does go on about some things sometimes, even to me. I think his time working abroad was very satisfying for him and he looks back on it with pleasure and small comments jog his mind about it. I don't mind because I can say, "yes, you've told me about that several times" but hard to do this when with others as he says that they haven't heard it before.
There are also those who tell the same jokes or funny stories, but they're usually not long so we put up with it - though their partners (typically long-suffering women) are cringing quietly.
I think that if somebody starts on stories about health problems you can stop them by saying that you're very squeamish and you'd rather they didn't tell you. But personally I find health stories interesting, for the first time of telling!
I certainly wouldn't tell a friend that I thought they were boring, there are other ways to stop them.

I have 2 friends that are boring. Sometimes I dread them ringing as an hour at a time going on and on about medical problems that I've heard all about before with the first. The second moved to be closer to family and that hasn't gone well. This is probably because they are obsessed with conspiracy theories, the government, or the council.
Recently I've noticed that neither are remotely interested in asking how I am, what I'm doing etc. It's always just about themselves.

I know I’m repeating stuff my family have heard before but living home alone and after this last year I really haven’t done much to talk about. I wouldn’t mind being called boring because I probably am, probably why I don’t have close friends. ?

When I was living alone, fairly lonely and with no-one to talk to outside work, a good friend dropped me a quiet hint that I tended to monopolise conversation talking too long and too much about my own interests when I was in company.

I was genuinely horrified, as I had not realised I was doing this. Hurt too, yes, but I did even in my initial hurt acknowledge the justice of her remarks.

Since then I have tried very hard to ask those I am talking to about their interests, opinions, or even just how their day is going. I hope and trust I no longer monopolize conversations!

If friends or DH start telling me something I have already heard a good many times, I sometimes say, "Yes, you have mentioned that before. Have there been any changes?" or whatever might be appropriate.

Obviously, if they are re-telling something that happened thirty years ago, there won't have been changes, so sometimes I would say, " that was a long time ago, surely, what brought it back to mind? "After all they might be worried that the situation was going to repeat itself.

I think many people, especially those living alone, tend to forget that they have told us something, so I see nothing wrong in gently reminding them that yes, you have told me about that.

It would depend on who said it as to what extent I'd be bothered.

If it were someone I loved I'd be upset but when you love someone,you love them 'warts and all' so I wouldn't try to change and wouldn't tell a loved one I found them boring, even if I did.

As for friends, I wouldn't tell them either. As has already been said on this thread, we can all be boring can't we.

As others have intimated here, it is quite possible to realise that one is boring! I very frequently bore myself, but always have a giggle at the thought! I don’t lead a wildly adventurous life ( don’t have the wherewithal unfortunately) but I do have quite a lot of interesting (I think!) experiences behind me which I try very hard not to repeat too many times to others. I have very many interests and even though I live alone can indulge them, most often as not alone. My ex once told me before we parted that I was ‘old, ugly and BORING’. I have tried since then not to take others views too seriously and to be true to myself, boring or not!

Mamma7 that's so funny

When I used to phone an old friend I only had to say "Hiya, how are you?" and that was it for the next 30 minutes whilst she went through every one of her ailments. My brain would cloud over and I just lost concentration. She had so many things wrong with her that I had to keep a diary of our conversations just so I could reply correctly when she said "remember I told you about ....."

I hate it when people bore on and on about politics, trying to change other peoples' views.
Of course I have a view but, like many people, others' arguments are not likely to change my mind. And since I'm not very interested in it I don't know all the ins and outs and don't particularly want to reveal my lack of in depth knowledge so tend to avoid getting embroiled in political discussion.
However I would join in when others say things that are factually inaccurate. Perhaps this makes me boring too?!

Since giving up drinking I have noticed how boring most conversations are with people who are 'well oiled' I am quite horrified I was probably one of them!

Well I’d say your friend needs a new friend. Because true friends would say something to you not behind your back and go online to moan about them. Also maybe put yourself in their shoes. They could be lonely etc. We don’t all live a perfect life. Ppl are quite fascinating. We are not all the same we are all different and we’re have all walked different paths. One day you will be grateful for that friend when they are no longer around.

One persons bore is another’s knowledgable fascinating friend. Good manners should be the starting point. If timely possible walk away or digress. I’m thinking we Granny’s may be self centred if we can’t listen to repeats.
It’s not all about us oldies. Others have their opinions too, bless them. They may just only be tolerating us too and talking to shut us up.
An idea- Think of ‘lending an ear’ as an act of charity by keeping the offender from others in the company.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

"My ex once told me before we parted that I was ‘old, ugly and BORING’. I have tried since then not to take others views too seriously and to be true to myself, boring or not!"
What a dreadful person your ex must have been @Amalegra, such a hurtful thing to say. It can't have been easy being with somebody like that.

My mother and ex were masters at repeat episodes of their lives, it became painfull for the family. I mean like every
conversation had a repeat in it.
I try now to always ask my AC first how they are and what is
life doing to them because if I slip and do a repeat of something there is a cry 'you are getting like Nana' which hurts but I laugh at it.
I think you really have to work at staying relevant.

Nannashirlz

Well I’d say your friend needs a new friend. Because true friends would say something to you not behind your back and go online to moan about them. Also maybe put yourself in their shoes. They could be lonely etc. We don’t all live a perfect life. Ppl are quite fascinating. We are not all the same we are all different and we’re have all walked different paths. One day you will be grateful for that friend when they are no longer around.

Well, my friend was a lovely friend for 50 years and was very popular in our circle. She died last March and is much missed.
She would have laughed at my comments.

I really wouldn’t care!

I am bored by the almost constant conversation regarding my friend’s daughter and their dog. My DH bores me talking about the operation he had 23 years ago and a pretty full on description of issues he’s experienced with a club he belongs to. However, I’ve heard myself banging on about ‘The North’ as if it was some sort of rural idyll, when , if it had been so marvellous why did I move away? I think it’s do with comfort zones. Topics that we know are inoffensive and we are knowledgeable about. I’m sure all of have our moments but I’d hate it if someone actually voiced it out loud ‘you’re boring!

I also have a friend who knows ‘somebody’ who has experienced anything that is brought up in conversation.

Dottydots

My boyfriend, although very nice and easy-going, can be very boring. He either talks about football or how many varieties of
potatoes he has grown. I change the subject as soon as I can.

Oh Dotty that made me laugh but then I’ve only heard it once!

I have a friend who can be lovely or really boring. If she gets on to a subject that needs a bit of explaining she is unable to tell just the interesting bits but also the long boring bits. Before lockdown when we were out with a group of friends she was making all our eyes glaze over as the story went on and on. One brave sole changed the subject and a few minutes later 'boring' friend butted in saying '"Can I return to the subject as I have not finished" Ahhhhh. She is such a great girl one to one but when she has a captive audience that is a different story

Please consider that the person may have mental health difficulties and find it very hard to speak socially... may come across as boring but possibly they are trying really hard to communicate

Puzzler61

BTW I can bore people talking about cats .... ? ?‍⬛

Oh dear! Me too! I have four and I could talk about cats all day. And I never get bored talking about them!