How upset would you be if someone said you were boring!

Let’s be fair here, for the last 18 months people haven’t done much so there is not much to actually talk about apart from the past! Sorry I’m I bit blunt and unless they have dementia I tell them that they have told me that before.!

I always feel one's medical ailments are of interest to oneself and one's nearest and dearest only and then only for a short time (sorry for sounding like the Queen). My grandmother loved medical conversations and could always cap something someone else had, preferably from her own experience but, failing that, someone else's. One time my dad told her about a work colleague who had just died of a problem with his kidneys. Quick as a flash my grandmother jumped in with "it couldn't have been as bad as our so and so." My Dad's reply? "Mum, the poor man died of it. Just how bad does it have to get?"

I too knew someone who couldn't speak about anything but her grandchildren. I was having a conversation with her about Gynae problems and she managed to even associate the conversation with something her 3 year old GD had said to her.

I have become very boring with nothing new to talk about. It’s getting me down. I have gone from talking too much to struggling to say something

I can definitely bore. It is something we all need to watch out for. Especially as we get older. Talking too long. Too fast. Repeating stories. Talking about ourselves. Imposing our views on others. I guess we all find ourselves the most interesting person in the world. Also there are things that give us pleasure but are going to annoy the listener. Boasting for example. I don’t know if we can really control this with an act of will. We can try. Asking other people about themselves is good. I would like to be thought of as charming. But I suppose that is just another form of ego. But sometimes you can have a wonderful conversation with another person. One of the greatest pleasures in the world.

Yes people who repeatedly tell you what ‘great’ jobs and how ‘well paid’ their children are! Never ask about yours or look bored if you happen to briefly mention them!

I would be hurt, yes. But it would depend what they meant. If they thought I was a dull, boring person generally I'd be upset. But if someone just thought I'd been boring through my talking about my favourite subjects (cats, for one . .) it wouldn't bother me so much!

I think that many of our conversations could be classed as reminiscing! People can be really interesting when they tell you about their childhood, early working life, adventures etc. Yes, sometimes I’ve heard them before but the conversation - talking and listening is a very important part of our shared experience. Be patient and enjoy the chat! Boring- perhaps but it is still communication.

I’d be absolutely gutted if someone told me I was boring. I find that boring people lack self-awareness and it amazes me how they can talk endlessly about themselves/their lives and don’t seem to care whether they have an audience or not. I usually just zone out and excuse myself as quickly as possible. As for me I’d rather not say anything at the risk of boring other people and try to make sure that whatever I say is relatable to them, important or of general interest. It really isn’t that hard.

After a bit of a misunderstanding, my step son in law accused me of only ever talking about myself and my life and my kids etc and I was very hurt. Then I realised that as I am relatively new to the family, I don't have any shared memories or experiences so without resorting to the weather, politics or TV, I could only join in the conversation by relating the topic to something similar in my life. He also said my husband (his father in law) never said anything and was difficult to have a conversation with (maybe that's why I talk more - to compensate). My husband is quiet - I like that about him - but he does speak when he has something to say. We were both terribly hurt by these remarks and I now find I am continually policing my own conversations when his family are present to make sure I don't say much about myself and my life and family (which they obviously find very boring!).

Sorry what happened to being kind and understanding that other people have issues and problems we know nothing about. I doubt anyone is boring it's just a subject that others are not interested in or they are lonely and just happy to have someone to talk to. There are ways of dealing with this that are kind and polite. I strongly suspect we are all guilty of being boring if we truly listen to ourselves.

For some reason my husband loves to talk about the various types of car transmissions and their various merits or downfalls! If I happen to mention I like the look of a passing car he will launch into what type of gears it has etc! I just want to gag him!

It’s been mentioned on GN before, but google the 17th Century Nun’s Prayer, source unknown.

It’s a lovely, humorous piece of writing, including thoughts on how to be gracious in old age, not bossy, boring or crabby.

We had it at Mum’s funeral, as she lived to a ripe old age, and would have thought it most appropriate.

The least of my concerns. Would be very upset if I was told I was uncaring, or selfish, or nasty.

My ex husband said I had turned boring because at the age of around 45 I stopped being in relationships and realised that men were just an obsessional interest. My adult son is on the spectrum and I slowly realised I must be too. Now I have allowed myself to have nerdy interests and obsessions I don’t care about being boring, I own it! My son and I have conversations ‘at’ each other because we have so few common interests. Sometimes I talk for a while with him nodding along and then I stop and ask him what I just said! He seldom knows ? I work from home so don’t really socialise much except with one valued friend that I get on really well with. With her, and family, I do check myself and make sure I don’t bang on about my hobbies or health too much. If someone other than my family or friend told me I was boring I would just say I know, but I am happy with it, nobody is forced to speak to me. I do hope my comment isn’t too boring though!

Talk about something exciting you do. If you can’t think of anything, try something new. Have you ever considered sky diving?

A friend told me some years ago that I kept repeating myself! It stopped me in my tracks and I had a good think about it, and eventually I had to admit she was right. So now I tend to say "stop me if I've told you this before" prior to launching into, what I think is a new and interesting story to entertain my mates with.

I would never tell anyone that they were boring, or even hint at it. I have known quite a few bores in my time but the only thing to do is let them get on with it. To tell them would be hurtful, and that's much worse than being dull.

I am often anxious that I am being boring, particularly when I don't know people very well. I'm not very good at small talk, so I tend to keep quiet (and seem unfriendly) or force myself to talk and fear that I'm boring.

“I remember you telling me that.”

Every time a story is repeated.

No need to be unnecessarily rude though; telling someone they’re boring is very rude!

Lifelong egocentricity is certainly boring, but what is upsetting for me are older retired friends (some younger than me) whose lives have become so small that their conversations have become repetitive and boring.
There appears to be a total lack of energy and interest in others. I have encouraged more interesting conversations, specific reading and activities, but no go. C-19 has made everything worst. I worry as they have lost friends and become more isolated, and over the years and have become more negative.
One old friend was calling me late at night dumping repetitive negativity on me and nothing could distract from the onslaught.
I no longer answer her calls because I find the calls selfish, but still worry that she is lonely and depressed.
Felling a bit guilty.

Kali2

The least of my concerns. Would be very upset if I was told I was uncaring, or selfish, or nasty.

Me too, Kali2. And anyone telling another person that they're boring is at least one of those, if not all, imho.

If you're having a boring conversation, you're part of it. Change the subject, be interesting yourself, or just avoid the person if you really can't stand it. Or perhaps just remember that that boring person might have a boring life, and have some sympathy.

I think you need to be a bit aware of how you're coming over, sometimes you see someone's eyes glazing over. If you can do that you stand a good chance of doing something about it
I'm afraid that my now deceased in-laws really were boring. Same stories over and over again for 40 years, FIL in particular. And talking at table mostly about people that we didn't know, or the same old stories about things husband had done as a child, no new ones, just the same ones that actually made them look bad. I honestly don't think that they knew what I did as a job, or hobbies, sister in law has said that too. Judging my family too on very little evidence, and they weren't interested in hearing anything about them, so I think they just zoomed in on things that fitted their narrative. I remember fil ringing to tell me all about their recent holiday, which included lots of incredibly boring details about the minutia of their journey - where they stopped on the motorway, and suchlike. No way of getting a word in sideways to ask about what they found interesting in the town they visited, I'm afraid I put the phone down for a few minutes, I did have a baby at the time, he was still going strong when I could pick the receiver up again.
I don't mind hearing about things that people find interesting and tell me about the interesting things, and allow a breath for me to maybe ask a bit about it. But when he did that at our silver wedding celebration, on that occasion he went on about how much better the food had been in that country and how much better the waiting staff were [in the earshot of our waitress] , on and on, even going on about it afterwards to our son, we went for a little walk afterwards, and I could hear him across the field, about how the foreign waiting staff were so much better
Well, our local ones seemed file to be honest, not sure what his problem was. That was both boring and shockingly bad manners
He actually went down with dementia, but it wasn't much differentto be honest

I don’t find conversations boring, as a rule, but I wish that I could join in more. I don’t seem to have the knack of inserting myself into conversations, and people therefore think that I am a ‘good listener.’ Maybe it’s because many of my friends had jobs which involved a lot of talking, such as teachers. I brought up 5 children, and was a foster mum and childminder, so spent a lot of time listening.

One of my neighbours is a bit of a bore. If anyone mentions an ailment she also has it, but much more seriously. If we meet I often invent a friend who is suffering with......... just for the fun of hearing her recount what a dreadful time she had with it. I once looked up a list of obscure male conditions, mentioned one of them and, bingo, she had it years ago!

At the moment I am just glad that people are, finally, not obsessing about Covid so much. It seems to have been the main topic of conversation for so long that we have all become bores!

Chaitriona

I can definitely bore. It is something we all need to watch out for. Especially as we get older. Talking too long. Too fast. Repeating stories. Talking about ourselves. Imposing our views on others. I guess we all find ourselves the most interesting person in the world. Also there are things that give us pleasure but are going to annoy the listener. Boasting for example. I don’t know if we can really control this with an act of will. We can try. Asking other people about themselves is good. I would like to be thought of as charming. But I suppose that is just another form of ego. But sometimes you can have a wonderful conversation with another person. One of the greatest pleasures in the world.

Great post Chaitriona....and the opposite of boring!

I was described by a man as 'being too serious.'