How upset would you be if someone said you were boring!

grannylyn65

You’re wrong

Who is wrong ?! About what ?!

I have a friend that often has an interesting or amusing tale to tell but she adds in so many unnecessary details it takes too long to get to the punchline so I do get bored. Like others I also have a friend whose only conversation is about the grandchildren. I try to change the conversation but she always brings it back round again. Still, she has made me try harder to not be boring myself.

Oh Nanna58 I so empathise. My eldest grandson, also on the autistic spectrum,(now 20) can talk for England on science, music and religion.

We sat in the garden a couple of weeks ago when he asked if he could come round for a catch-up before he returned to his apprenticeship. We were there for just over 4 hours and I couldn't stop my teeth chattering!

BUT, he has the ability to explain things clearly that I would otherwise not understand. He doesn't talk down to me, and willingly answers all my questions (when I can get a word in!). His Mum and sister find him boring, and often tell him so, his Dad just blatantly nods off!

With him, I don't have a chance to be boring, I seldom say more than half a dozen sentences, but I am certainly not bored.

Perhaps boredom comes when there is so much else to do, and, whilst listening to someone else, we are unable to do it. Just a thought.

I think some people, as they age, have no new experiences to talk about and perhaps feel ignored or sidelined. They only have their past to talk about as they don't have new experiences. Not all old people are like this - I do realise that.

I don't think I would wish to tell anyone they were boring me.

When I was young I shared a caravan with someone. She showed me a letter from a mutual friend but covered part of it up. (I don’t know why she didn’t just read it out to me). Anyway, convinced that the covered up bit referred to me I read it when she was out and it said ‘and does she still irritate you as much’. I know it was my fault for reading it but, as someone that always had a self image/confidence problem I don’t think I ever got over it.

I think I quite like boring people. They are very relaxing give you time to think about other things .. or perhaps I’ve never met any. My daughter thinks my son, her brother, is boring because he will regale you with his current passion whether football stats or some new technology, and it’s true he never asks you about yours, but I think he’s the bees knees so don’t find him boring. It doesn’t matter how sharp and clever people are whom I dislike... my brother used to find our mum boring which I thought was a bit of a cheek cos he never made an effort to engage her so she would fall back on repetition because she wanted to keep talking to him.

Amberone you could be writing about me!

I agree with Ella Vannin
Conversation is an art form
If somebody wants to talk to me I’m privileged

I have a friend who within minutes of any conversation (phone or in person) gets onto a particular problem of hers - complicated, she is from another country and has concerns about taxes and residential status - you cannot get a word in edgeways although she is always asking for advice she simply does not listen to anyone. It has been going on for years and I am not sure how her OH puts up with it - I suspect she just switches off which is why when she sees anyone else she just goes off on one. I think I have heard the whole thing multiple times, but most of the concerns are in her head. If she actually took any action I would be interested but she just goes on like a stuck record. I try to limit my walks with her but feel mean doing so - when you can get her on to another subject she can be good company - but its rare!!!! Now that is BORING!

Depends who said it, how serious they were and how much I valued their opinion. People are more likely to say something like this about you rather than to you.
Remember the old ad about "what your best friend won't tell you"? Being boring is like being smelly - if you don't know you're doing it, you'll never change!

I don't necessarily think I am a boring conversationalist, but I don't think I am 'fun'.

I admire people that can always make others laugh and are full of spirited fun. Some of my co-workers are always joking and laughing over silliness, but I think I am more serious. Am I guilty of being boring in that way? Maybe!

GrannyGear
But that’s supposing you can change a boring person. From personal experience I would say it’s a lost cause ?

I meet a lady while I'm walking the dog and I find I'm am ducking behind hedges, going along roads I didn't want to, just to get away from her. It sounds awful, but she goes on & on, I can't get away from her once she starts. As I'm leaving her she follows me still talking. I'm wondering now does anyone do that when they see me coming.

We all have our stories to tell... To some they might be boring but to others they will be interesting. It is wrong to criticize others because what they say does not interest us...

Theoddbird
For me it’s not so much the content but the continuous repetition of the same stories.

I think we all come across boring at times, especially as we get older and repeat our “interesting” stories. Do I believe I bore people at times...yep! I think it clicks when they cut into my story with their story which has absolutely nothing to do with what I’m talking about...I on the other hand, let them repeat, or let them finish, but as soon as they stop for air, I’m starting my different story. Some days I think I throw out golden nuggets of information, and some days I find them in others conversations. I’m in my 60s, and look after people a good bit older, who repeat themselves on a daily, if not hourly basis, and that reminds me that this could be me one day, so I know I could never tell them they were boring, as I know it would be hurtful, and more to the point, they would possibly forget, and so I’d need to say it daily.... don’t think I would feel nice, and can’t believe nice people would say it.

Nobody's said it in so many words but I'm well aware that to other people I'm boring. It doesn't bother me at all, I don't feel it's my duty to entertain anyone. I'd rather everyone saw me as boring, than anyone saw me as unkind, or unhelpful.

I was told that I was boring when visiting friends of my DH
I found their adult children were quite horrible, and couldn't think of anything to say to them. When I started talking to their mother about her garden, quite amiably, I thought, (and she was a lovely person) the adult children shouted why were we talking about boring gardening.
I had to go outside to cool down. We have never been back

Thank you all for your comments and stories. This is what I’ve learnt.

Most people are really tolerant and kind and will listen to the same story over and over again.?

Some people don’t really care that they are repeating themselves and the listener might be bored.

When people have ‘a bee in their bonnet’ they just can’t help bringing it into every conversation. They have to get their opinion out there.

But I still don’t know whether to say to this friend that people might be more willing to meet up with her/phone her if she could just let the conversation flow rather than bringing it back to her opinions all the time. She’s losing out because of it,

I was a bit amused by people who said they weren’t paid to entertain. People aren’t generally paid to listen either?

I would be very very hurt to be described as boring but I suspect several people might say I am. I have some very good friends who I get on well with but I find it difficult to interact with people in groups of more than about four people.

I recall one time at a works drinks at the senior partner's beautiful house in central London. I felt uncomfortable and unintentionally had one glass of wine too many. I remember quite clearly being in the middle of what I imagined was a fascinating conversation with a solicitor in my office and seeing his eyes glaze over with sheer boredom. It was obviously time to go home!

I’m sure I am boring and uninteresting. I feel like I have no personality and am a nothing sort of person if that makes any sense. So if someone said that tome I would probably agree.

I'd probably agree with them. I know I'm boring to those who don't have the same interests as me but if they do, we can chat away for hours. I'm probably too 'deep' for most. i certainly wouldn't be offended. Life's too short. If they think you're boring, find other friends.

I'm very boring, very nasty, and I talk about my grandchildren non-stop, because naturally they are vastly superior infants.
I also talk about my many operations, my fortitude during them, and the many ways in which surgeons have congratulated me on the unique nature of my ailments.
I'm sure you're all longing to ask me to dinner, but don't, because I'll bring cheap wine, drink your good stuff, and flatly refuse to look at you holiday photos, or even those of your daughter's wedding.

I think I know you Sluttygran? I’m sure there is more self awareness amongst women about being boring than men. Peasblossom, the feeling you are even boring yourself....I’ve felt that too!

I think sluttygran must be the friend I’ve been posting about ?