The Argy Conglomerate

The punters are loving the poteen tonight - they say it has ‘something of the sea’ about it. One was sure he found a winkle in his pint.

Great!
Tea for two, jet you must come too for a slice of decent special cake.
Can anyone knock up a reasonable menu?
I'll do the atmospheric bit - candles, infusers, some nice music from the String Quartet.
Anything else?

Oooh what a brilliant idea - I’m sure love will be in the air... ❤️ strawberries to dip in chocolate and then nibble ...

Sounds perfect. If it works for Fronc and Thor we could advertise it as lovers night in the Tea room.
I’m feeling quite romantic.......anyone seen the Admiral? ?

Champagne and caviar. Can we afford it?
Or a packet of love hearts. A cheaper option.

Sorry doodle. The Admiral is consoling May Hem on the loss of RR and his yacht.

Well, ladies, I really don’t know how you are going to cope without me, but I have to tell you that I’m off on a world cruise! I met the love of my life, Cheerful Charlie, on the way back from the dock the other night and he fell for me head over heels, wetsuit and all! He is whisking me off this evening for the trip of a lifetime! I’m so excited!
Good luck with Fronc and Thor, I hope they find true love with each other. And please keep the knobs and knockers in the lav shiny and spotless until I return.
Love, Jet

We will keep a comfy barstool armchair warm for you by the bar jet.
And listen out for us every Friday night - we will be singing, very loudly, for you and hope you will hear us.
That way, you know we are still thinking about you, lots.
?

And altho' I was promoted from lav cleaning after far too long a short while, I will do your lavs for you in the meantime - so do, please, come back as soon as you can!

jet we will miss you. Keep safe and hope you don’t get sea sick. We will keep that special armchair just for you (ixion is that the one with the lumpy cushion and wonky leg ?)
Know we will be thinking of you and will keep all your knobs polished for your return ? memo to self. Need to get another man to replace Thor if he and Fronc become an item.
Take care

Oh yes, the lumpy cushion
Never fear, I shall start knitting a special cushion (or two) speshally for grandmajet.

doodle you seem a crafty one, from what I have gleaned.
Any Bargyers want to fashion something for jet's cozy corner?

Of course ixion I will make a nice cozy quilt for jet to wrap round her and perhaps crochet llama wool bootees to keep her feet warm.

Jet I hope Cheerful Charlie treats you well. You will be missed at the Argy. I will brew some special poteen for your return.
If Fronc and Thor do hit it off then I can get Theo back. He is very handy in all sorts of ways. His twin brother Leo is looking for a job Doodle?
How are we going to manage without grandmajet?

Well Cheerful Charlie has a lot to answer for whisking our Jet of on a world cruise! We’ll be thinking of you everyday of course and will keep things ship shape and bristol fashion until you return - well you’d expect nothing less after a cruise ?
I’ll pop some fresh flowers next to your very comfy armchair and try to keep the llamas away. The hot tub will be bubbling away and a very special afternoon tea awaits you on your return ..

I don’t know how we will manage without grandmajet’s many talents either. Hope she comes back to us soon.
Theo and Leo....very interesting. I can see good looking twins being a big attraction in the bar. I think we could afford some more staff. Are they identical twins?
Ooh brook I actually fancy a relaxing evening in the hot tub. If we had the two boys in the bar, perhaps we could have a tub evening for ourselves. Things have been a bit full on recently.
Is the Admiral still hogging the tub with May?

Sounds just whats needed Doodle let’s all get in the tub later tonight after closing - we could open the Prosecco too ..
If we’re to get new staff maybe we could put an advert in The Argy Times for new bar staff - see who we can get ?

Theo and Leo are identical. Two handsome hunks will bring in the customers

grandmajet

Is Vlad still available? I always had a soft spot for him. I’ll trawl round the local bars and see if I can lure him back.

Yes, I miss him too! but the llamas hair affected his asthma ( he’s known as Vlad the inhaler) so he had to leave us.
I’ve heard that he’s working on the cheese counter at the Co-op if you want to visit him.He works night shifts btw.
Enjoy your world cruise with CC grandmajet.....I thought I was doing much the same but it didn’t end well and I fear that going off with men who promise the earth may not be a good idea.So come back to Pigstrotter Alley if it doesn’t work out, there will always be a saggy chair here for you.

Glad that you blew up Rich Reggie’s yacht ( shame he wasn’t on it!) Lord Lemongrove is sending you a cheque by way of thanks ( 17/6d) don’t spend it all at once.

Oh lemon how generous. We will be able to pay ixion to clean the toilets for a month with that.
Are you going to pop in later for some bubbly in the hot tub lemon or does Lord Lemongrove want you at home?

Just popped in to shine jet's lavs - big shoes to fill.
It is proving well nigh impossible, as you know, to get May Hem out of the hot tub with the Admiral.
However, we have a party of WAGS booked into the tea rooms tomorrow afternoon, so I have coopted the Admiral to give a talk on 'Tales of an Old Sea Dog".

I have a proposition.
We could send May on a Course get her away for a while.
I was thinking an NVQ in Hospitality (?).

This caught my eye in the brochure. -
Do You Have What It Takes to Have a Career in Hospitality?
High Level of Customer Service.
Good Communication Skills.
Formal Training.
High Levels of Cultural Awareness.
Have the Ability to Multitask.
Work Well in a Team.
Be Flexible^

She can indeed be flexible.
The other points need a little, er, refining IMHO.

You’re a star ixion the lavs are looking so clean and sparkling !!
Yep I think it’s a brilliant idea to get May all trained up as we’ll definitely need her helping out when we’re busy. I think she’s already good at pleasing the customers and a dab hand at multitasking .., so let’s go for it!
Not sure how the Admiral tales will go down with the WAGS though especially after last time
I’ll ask Thor to mix his best cocktails and I’ll get the llamas spruced up ready to go
Lemon do you think Vlad could get us some reduced cheese from his counter ... I think we could do a cheese and wine evening to attract some posh punters at the weekend ?

It's Lovers Night in the tea room tomorrow. Soft music and low lights and tables set for two. The Admiral is looking for someone to take so beware!
May needs to be occupied elsewhere or she will turn up with several of her rowdy men friends.
Any ideas for table decorations to set the mood?

Let’s get some red tablecloths, candles and flowers for the tables AGA, keep the music low and the string quartet playing all the old favourites, that’ll get them in the mood. Hot tub bubbling away gently in the background..
One of the ladeeze who was in the tea room last week took a shine to the Admiral, I think he name was Mary Rose so she’s bound to be a hit with him

Good idea brook candles and flowers are so romantic. The poor Admiral has been looking for love for a long time so Mary Rose will be very welcome.
We need to get him ready as he is not always ...erm fresh. I will pop down to Tom the Tailor and see if he will make a new suit for him. Meanwhile a bath in some of that foamy stuff we use on the llamas and he will be fresh as a daisy.

Rose buttonholes for the ladies, carnation for the men.
I presume that we can carry the cost, seeing that the price of the tickets is astronomical on the hefty side?

If you can help with a playlist, I'll run it past the string quartet.

Invite Lord and Lady Lemongrove? They love an upmarket bash.