What’s wrong with coleslaw? I agree that the shop-bought variety is generally pretty horrible - too much thin, vinegary mayonnaise - but I may modestly say that my own version is delish.
As for rubbish, I second Dairylea spread. Dates back to it being such a rare treat when I was a child. I can easily scoff a whole box of triangles without even any bread.
And Batchelors SuperNoodles, an occasional indulgence. Now and then if I get a craving and can’t be bothered to walk to the corner shop, I make some - dried egg noodles simmered with half a chicken stock cube and curry powder. Almost as good as the real thing.