The Argy back to basics.

ixion you’re our chief it fell off the back of a lorry guv, honestly procurer. Where can we get the basics of the swimming pool from?

Wot, me Guv?
Honest as the day is long, me.

Leave it with me...

Spoken to my contact doodle about Percy's pond.
He wants to know how big your hole is?

ixion we may need some ice for the pond. Mini bergs sort of?
I wish May Hem wouldn't keep popping up and leading the men astray.

?

Big enough for one aggressive Penguin, several ladies (!) lounging, four llamas paddling, one Lord a leaping and a Great Dane. ?

Ice sorted AGA. I have dispatched the Admiral and his rusty trusty side kick, the Captain to the Arctic to capture a passing ice flow. They should be back by tomorrow ?

There is a vat of poteen missing and several bottles of vodka. I think Lord L has gone with them. We may not see them for some time.
I will freeze some bowls of water while we wait for the Admiral and co to return.

OK, thanks for the dimensions.
Just off to negotiate the London Underground- will report back on mission success idc

Digby has made an enormous hole in the paddock for our pool. All we need now is to see what ixion comes up with.
I heard some strange noises tonight coming from one of lemon’s glamping sheds pods. A sort of snorting snuffling sound. I had a quick look and inside was Lord Lemon serenading ……..Polly the pig farmers wife who was in there with several piglets. The vat of poteen was empty. Don’t tell Lemon, she and Polly have a bit of a history ?

Well, I'm back but I have to say it was a bug**r to get on to the District Line.
It came from no 18 court, where I hope its absence won't be noticed for a while.
Nice colour, needs to be laid upside down to hide the logo....

Percy is very excited about a new pool as are the llamas. Alarma wants a lilo with Gnasher pushing her around in the water. She has asked for a new bikini and some expensive sunglasses.

Wot! ? little madam. Well we may pamper her a bit till baby llama comes along but them she will have to change her ways.
ixion you didn’t ?. Oh yes you did. Well done. Brilliant pool lining……?

Well done ixion. There will be a lot of happy splashers now. If Percy allows anyone else in his pool that is. What is it with these temperamental animals?

I have acquired (?) a range of pool lilos and floats for our pool when it’s finished. I can see us all now after a hard day in the Argy, floating in the pool, a nice iced poteen in hand, relaxing and enjoying the peace and quiet. Lovely picture but will it be like that with Madam and her servant llamas ?

Don't worry, folks.
I took the liberty of negotiating a six-month platinum pass with Sherree and Tanya at Pampered Pooches in exchange for a few jugs of free poteen on Friday nights at the Argy.
That means our madam can see out the rest of her confinement having her nails done ad naus and leave us in peace to enjoy the pool.

Do Sheree and Tanya do beaks? Get Percy out the way while we relax.

Great idea ixion and AGA. Er ixion Nanouk wants to know if Sherree and Tanya do personal waxing ?

Has Nanouk got a hairy back?
It feels a bit chilly for the pond lake today but it hasn't stopped the llamas from running in and splashing each other.

We need a rota. No llamas, penguins or other creatures including the Admiral in the water when we are bathing.

I have bought a frilly swimming cap in cerise to go with my bikini which must have shrunk. It is really hard to get on.

Good idea AGA . I must go into Madame Pom Pom’s and see if I can get a new swimsuit too. My last one isn’t wearable any more since I caught the knitted hem on a nail and it unraveled all the way up to my navel

Ooooh sounds lovely but does the budget run to having the pool heated or are we going to shiver in there ?

brook like you, I don’t like the cold. Oh whatever can we do? ?. Who do we know who can find a heater for our pool? …….
Anyone seen ixion recently ?

Hey, no time for all this social chit chat, excusez-moi.
I have been to PR Alley - yes, Tanya and Sherree can do beaks:
henna or temporary tats. Luckily, he has formed an alliance with Alarma and they were both seen waddling wandering off in that direction looking very excited.
The local kiddies were thrilled to see them passing at Playtime. They reckon its Pingu?

Surely Nanouk needs his hirsuteness where he comes from?
And brook, what's all this about feeling the cold?
I thought you were from well north of Watford and, by definition, closer to the Arctic Circle?

I think May Hem has been watching too much Olympic coverage. She had just told me she has ambitions now to be a champion weight lifter. Think she's almost there - have you seen her raising those barrels in the cellar heavenward?
Scary.

Pssstt - anyone around?
Had this amazing idea over night to get the lake acceptably warm.
I had a word with my contacts and the solution is here on the back of the lorry tractor which helped us take the freezer? to the harbour.
What do you reckon?

Brilliant ixion. Just what we need. I will cancel the thermal bikini now.

Well, we worked jolly hard against the clock, as you can see and I am sure that just a teensy number of panels won't be missed.
I thought we could put them up over the lake, à la carport, as 'twere, and voila - free heat?

And if Steven the Spark can do his stuff, we could get free leccy as well?‍♀️