Being a Nanna

I adore my 4 Grandchildren but its not obsessive. I know when to step back.

This w ill sound harsh but I think that's an unhealthy and over controlling obsession , and I feel sorry for the parents.
At the same time, I apologise if I've hurt your feelings,but you have asked for our opinions.

Your not alone as I said to someone just yesterday who is due to be a grandparent any day now. I never thought I could love anyone as much has I do my sons, but when my grandkids came along that’s a whole new love. I’m so proud of them and worry about them. My sons keep saying stop fretting mum. But it’s hard not to. lol I’ve got 5 grandkids one is a step grandson. I always say to my grandkids love you too the moon and back and the bigger ones say it back. Obviously not the step grandson doesn’t. My oldest granddaughter is 10

Absolutely. I am with you there.

I have been on the ceiling since my Granddaughter was born 14 years ago. The love I have for her sometimes overwhelms me. She and I have a lovely connection. Lots of humour and silliness but also a deep understanding.

She makes sense of life for me.

rowyn I agree. It doesn't mean that you do not love your DGC. When DGC last came to visit DGD insisted we had a day out together, just the two of us. We had a lovely day. DGS had a special day out with DGF.

My DGD’s are an absolute joy to me and I love them with all of my heart but my own DC will always be the ones that hold a very special place in my heart and the love I have for them is stronger. I have to confess I favour my DD’s 2 girls possibly because she has raised them like I raised her but all of them are loving caring individuals that have given DH and I many happy times so I consider myself very lucky.

I know how you feel Barberty - it’s an all consuming love - I think it’s because parenting isn’t easy - of course I loved my own but it was very hard work. With my grandchildren it was just instant love.

I love my DGC totally they are the Light of my life. Only one I love more is my wonderful son who is the Love of my life!

Totally i always say they're mine once removed ?...

I am completely besotted with my grandson, but I keep it quiet. Less so with my granddaughter, which is odd because I always wanted a girl.

I'm so with you. I remember being shocked at the strength of feelings I had for my granddaughter when she was born. It was that 'I could kill someone with my bare hands should they even think about harming her'

Not more love ..... but certainly the same.
I cannot differentiate between my two kids and two grandkids and I think it’s down to a stressful marriage.... a useless husband..... and a total lack of the wherewithal to help them progress through life . But now with more money to spare and more time on my hands I can devote a lot of it to all four of them..... I cannot bear to see any of them , kids or grandkids go without ! If I’ve got it... time or money.... they are welcome to it.

I only felt the overwhelming love for baby number 3, the other 3 grew on me! I adore my gc and feel very protective towrds them but they my childrens children. I would never overstep the mark but just support my dc in any way they need.

All of mine had to grow on me.
Daughter and grandchildren.
I never seemed to get that overwhelming adoration.

GlamGran59

I'm so with you. I remember being shocked at the strength of feelings I had for my granddaughter when she was born. It was that 'I could kill someone with my bare hands should they even think about harming her'

Did you never feel that about your own children?

I think it’s very odd to favour your GC over your own children.

Same here MissAdventure. And it took a while.

Yes, I agree MissAdventure. I just do not do 'overwhelming adoration'. It is not in my psyche.

Same here MissAdventure and MOnica

Glad I'm not alone.
I feel hesitant to say it, usually.

I never said I love my grandsons more than I love my own children!!!

Good point, Barberty.
Hope you aren't offended.

I never had children. When I met and married my husband, his two adult daughters, immediately called me Mum and treated me as their birth Mother. I always wondered what maternal instinct felt like. Fast forward 10 yrs. The first Grandchild arrived. With much love, trust and understanding my DSD allowed me to form a very strong bond with her PFB.
DGS is now 11 and is very close to me and his hero (Grandad)

Eventually my second DSD had two children and again I experienced the same strong maternal feelings.
I may not have given birth, but, my maternal side has been well and truly fulfilled.
I can’t compare the love of your own child to that of Grandbabies. I do know that it is powerful and all consuming.
I am very proud to say that we are a tight knit, happy family.
Barbety Don’t question your feelings, just enjoy them.

srn63 I Agree. I can’t really comment on how I feel about my gc compared to my ac, as I’ve only met gc on zoom. But for now while I feel overwhelmed with love for GC my AC are still the apples of my eyes. But watching ds1 navigate parenting makes me proud. He is such a hands on loving dad.

I had that overwhelming, falling in love feeling when my sons were born and am very close to them to this day. I love them and their spouses with all my heart.

My own mom never seemed to feel that way toward me. She was an efficient stay-at-home mom but always distant emotionally. I don't remember her ever hugging me and she disliked being hugged herself until the day she died. I only remember two close moments with her - once when she peeked into the hospital room when my first son was born and once when she was in the hospital before she died. Both times I was shocked but so happy to feel that connection. Years ago, she and my dad were legal guardians for my young niece for five years and I remember feeling surprised by how much love Mom showed to her granddaughter but not her own child. It sort of stung a bit to be honest.

MountainAsh - that is so great to hear, and so encouraging.
Good for you and your lovely family.