OP you are obviously hurting, and I can see you adore your GD and DD.
I would also say that based on some of your replies there is still a lot of (understandable) bitterness towards your ex. Unfortunately he’s still your DD’s father and your GD’s grandfather - and the very fact he was invited to this event means they want to have some sort of relationship with him, which your own bitterness and disdain really shouldn’t affect. It’s horrible and difficult because you see a lot of his flaws having being on the receiving end of his bad behaviour, however they maybe haven’t had the same experience as you with him. With that in mind it’s not really fair to put your GD in the position of handling yours or his emotions around this conflict.
To unravel this mess of emotions, maybe try and decide what you want moving forward? So do you want to continue to have this level of involvement with your GD? How will you navigate future dance meets? It’s obvious that based on this last experience that you and the ex can’t co-exist (regardless of whose fault that is) and telling your GD/DD that it’s all his fault when you have greater access to them may be counter productive in the long run, so perhaps follow your initial instinct to avoid him? You can’t change what’s happened, but you can have a think about how you’d like to handle things in the future.
I’d also echo others encouraging you to find interests outside of your DD/GD. Your GD will grow up and pursue her own life, you will fall down the pecking order in her life (as you should as she grows up and spreads her wings) - what will you do then? It’s not healthy to have your emotional stability and happiness revolve around someone else.
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