New parenthood is both a great joy and upheaval. His own family sounds like they are no support and if he feels tension/judgement from you (even if it was completely unintentional) he’d just nip out and leave you both to it. He also may find it difficult at this time he should have the love and support of his family he doesn’t, and finds it hard to be around your happy family. Whatever you do don’t take it personally, as you may create a rift that was never there.
I would say nothing to your daughter at all. The only comment I would make is praise of what a good job he is doing, and perhaps send a treat box to them both with things they both like and address to the ‘new parents, a little treat to commend you both on being such wonderful parents’
I remember nothing but snide asides on my new parenting skills, and I was desperate for praise. As my therapist says when I want to react crossly in the moment, you catch more flies with honey.
