Grief, Baby medical termination.

Please don't make it all about you think how bad your daughter must be feeling.....

That's the last thing I'm doing, I haven't told her how I feel of course, I just wish I could talk about it with someone.

I've probably not worded that right, but you know what i mean. I know you're hurting but the 'parents to have been' must be devastated.

Nannan2 OP has says she is devastated for her daughter.

So sorry for the loss of this baby msliones..

I am so sorry for your loss . I lost a baby at beyond 12 week stage and had to be induced. The hospital had a remembrance garden and I cant tell you how much that helped me. At first I wanted nothing to do with it but am glad I changed my mind. Just having somewhere to go was a comfort. I wonder if this would help you. Maybe find a place where you can go to remember your loss. You will feel lost, you are grieving. I know you will want to support your daughter but please also look after yourself.

Maybe you could discuss it with the few who do know? Or I'm sure when its all sunk in your daughter will talk it over with you- she might be in shock still...till then maybe you could discuss it with a professional counselor or someone from a charity for 'bliss' or some such.?

Lucca- i did say I'd maybe worded it wrongly.I understood she's devastated for her daughter- i just meant,its far far worse for her daughter.

Are there any organisations you could contact that would help you and your daughter at this terribly sad time. You could perhaps speak to them to get expert advice in what to say to your daughter and how to deal with your own grief given that you’ve both been through a bereavement. And you’re dealing with your own sadness and the sadness of your daughter. I felt that, when my daughter was pregnant I had hormones that had been dormant for a long time that kicked in in a strange way. I’m really sorry for what’s happened

Have you got a religious representative you could speak to? Or even the hospitals chaplain perhaps?

I am deeply sorry to read your post. I cannot begin to imagine your pain. Just be there to listen to your DD and SIL when they feel they want to talk. In the meantime, you say you have no one to talk to, have you considered writing your feelings down, taking moments of reflection that way if your unable to talk about how you feel?
I hope you find some comfort and peace and feel able to support your DD. ?

Nannan2

Lucca- i did say I'd maybe worded it wrongly.I understood she's devastated for her daughter- i just meant,its far far worse for her daughter.

Yes our posts crossed

When this happened to my family, my first grandchild, I definitely felt (at the time anyway) that nobody could see that my heart was broken too.
My thoughts are with you.

It's very sad for all concerned.

I know that nothing can be said to make it better, MsLioness, but I hope you can all look after one another.
x

Thanks everyone, I am so sad for my Daughter, and her Husband She worries this may be her last chance due to her age, we do talk about it and she asks how I am. We are very close, and this child was very much wanted.

When I say a few people. I mean Grandparents, ie her Dad from whom I'm divorced, and his wife and 2 sons to his second marriage.

I hated that this would sound selfish, I live alone and I'm single, I thought /hoped this would be a safe anonymous place to talk.

Of course it is, and you do't sound selfish at all. Anyone would feel the same.

Thank you.

Sorry Ms Lioness didn't mean to offend you, i just worded it wrong, but i hope you can all begin to heal from this tragedy soon by talking it over together?

So sorry to hear this, heartbreaking for all of you.

So sorry to hear this. My daughter had the same thing happen and it is devastating
She had so many problems but 12 weeks ago baby Charlie was born happy and healthy.
Just be there for your daughter and take care of yourself. Please make sure you daughters husband knows you are there to support him too as he provide feels he must be strong but he has lost a precious baby too.
Love and healing thoughts to all.

I’m devastated for you - and for your daughter. It’s hard to watch our children in pain no matter what their age. Maybe she could do with a big warm hug from her mum and a cry together. It might make you both feel better.

MsLioness I have sent you a PM.

MsLioness I am so sorry for your loss. As someone who miscarried a baby, I know how devastating it can be for all the family. My youngest son, who was born a year after my miscarriage is the most amazing, wonderful young man, who wouldn't have existed if my previous pregnancy had gone to plan. I hope there will be a 'Rainbow Baby' for your daughter. Even after 25 years I still think of what might have been, look at young women and wonder what my daughter would've grown up to be. But then I look at my son and feel truly blessed. How about planting something special in your garden? A rose or a small tree perhaps. Scatter some forget-me-not seeds. I have a silver forget- me -not with an angels wing on a silver chain. Maybe treat yourself and your daughter to something special. I hope you are able to feel more positive soon.

Here are a couple of links you may like to look at.

www.sands.org.uk/sites/default/files/SANDS-GRANDPARENTS-BOOKLET.pdf

www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/

I have been in your situation MsLioness,4 times tbh.
It is truly heartbreaking.
It`s something you get through but never over.
I am sure you will be supportive even in your grief.
Sending an air hug to you and your family.

That is so very sad.

You are allowed to feel sad for her - and also for yourself. Becoming a Grandma is a precious thing and it has been snatched away from you.

........ let us hope that there will be a new baby at some point in the future. She is not too old to conceive again.